Posts Tagged ‘Writing’

Today has been a day to say the least, and I almost gave The  Boyfriend a heart attack, which is either kind of funny, or really sad 😉

So this morning, The Boyfriend brought home a new entertainment stand that we’ve been eyeing for about a month now. He stayed up almost all day getting it set up, and boy does it look pretty. The good thing about it, is it’s going to clear up the 3 small movie shelves we’ve got, and the TV no longer sits on an un-sturdy, old casino table that I got almost 5 years ago from Wal-Mart.

After he was all done building the thing, I asked if we could go to Wal-Mart to pick up formula for Carter. He’s showing alot of interest in solids, but the second he’s given them, he just spits it all out. The only thing he seems to enjoy at all is mashed potatoes, but I don’t want to give him too much of that. I’ve never had to go through the “transition”. The only kid other than Carter that I got to breastfeed for any length of time was Kenzie, and he was so hungry that it didn’t matter what it tasted like.

He doesn’t like the formula, at all! He chews on the nipple and the second the formula gets in his mouth, he makes a face then starts wailing. He’ll hold the formula that is in his mouth in there, until he starts making a choking type noise and then swallows. Then when you try to put the  bottle back in his mouth, he just shakes his head back and forth. So I’m gonna keep trying, and then I’ll breastfeed him. As long as he’s getting a little bit, it’s more than what he’s getting from me.

So we ended up replacing the office chair that we’ve had at the computer desk, because the screws were starting to tear through the padding (so the chair became extremely uncomfortable to sit on). I built the chair with the kids, and it’s so comfy. It’ll be perfect for the kids on the computer too, because it lifts up and down.

It was nice to be able to get to spend some time alone with The Boyfriend today. My cousin came by and watched all the kids (by herself!), so we could run to Wal-Mart. I got more make-up stuff, and now my make-up kit is almost full. Just need some liquid eyeliner and once I get my eyebrows shaped and learn how, an eyebrow pencil and I’ve got everything I want/need. We finally got Star Trek (the newer movie), which we’ve been talking about getting since it came out.

Kaeidyn’s got a birthday party tomorrow, and she insisted we get her friend Barbies. So we got some cheap princess barbie dolls, and a little princess set with shoes for her. Kaeidyn gets to go bowling for the first time ever tomorrow. It should be very interesting.

So you’re probably curious how I gave The Boyfriend a heart attack earlier today, eh? I teased that I thought I was pregnant again. These last couple of days, I seem to be pretty emotional. Which, prior to The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, wouldn’t be cause for concern. That’s pretty much how you could’ve described me, without being mean. Since being with The Boyfriend, it’s taken alot to make me cry, unless I’m pregnant (which has only happened once, so it’s not like there’s alot of evidence behind it ;))

A couple days back, when Goober first landed in the hospital, they wouldn’t let me talk to him, wouldn’t even tell me he was there. So I called his ER doctor (after hours), and tried my hardest to keep it together, but I was pretty upset. So by the end of the message I left, I was sobbing like a little girl. So much so, that when the secretary returned the message, she left the number and said “It sounds like you were a little upset, and I had problems understanding everything you said, so please return our call at…”

Then today, I had to pay back an old buddy of mine, who I know through Alfie. I’ve known him for many many years, and I’ve seen him treat previous girlfriends pretty crappily, and they normally treat him the same. Today, I saw something that not only brought back a thousand memories, but that cut me to the bone!

I’m sitting on his couch, and his girlfriend comes out of their room. She goes to the fridge and grabs a beer. Puts it down on the coffee table and asks for a lighter so she can go out for a smoke. All of a sudden, my (ex) buddy starts yelling at her that she’s stupid and retarded and when she’s outside having her smoke she might as well just jump off the balcony. My jaw dropped open and my eyes welled up.

I walked out of the building and immediately burst in to tears. And it kept running through my head that that was the most terrible and uncomfortable thing I had ever been through. Then I remembered that, that used to be my life. The only difference is, unlike the girlfriend, I would’ve walked up and slapped him in the face and then I would’ve ran like hell, trying to avoid the return hit.

I came home and told The Boyfriend and I just kept saying that I felt so bad for this girl. And he kept looking at me, his eyebrow cocked like he always does. Realizing what he was getting at, I just said, “I can’t believe I went through alot of the same stuff for almost six years!”, and then I just kept saying it.

See, while Alfie and I fought, pretty much all the time and while Alfie was a prick to me (in a way, not buddies way…), he never once called me stupid or retarded in front of his friends. He never once told me to kill or hurt myself, instead he saved me from hurting myself twice – even if one of those times was purely out of annoyance.

Before The Boyfriend, I didn’t mind fighting at all. I used to start arguments with people, just for the sake of starting an argument.  After spending the last year and a half, with virtually no arguing whatsoever, it just completely overwhelmed me. And that’s how the worst parts of the crap that I went through started, and right before my eyes flashed this poor girl’s future, if she chose to stay with buddy.

It starts with arguing, then it turns into name calling and put downs, and then it escalates into physical harm. Hands, stairwells and keyboards have all taught me that. And it just gets such control over you. Logically, in my head, I knew way before it got physical that I should leave. Do you think I could?

Do you think once it got physical, I left? Nope. And it almost sickens me to think that I used to almost egg it on, and after Alfie and I split ways and that physicalness was gone (a few months after we split ways), I almost missed it and craved it.

The upside to the whole situation, if there even is one, is that it really made me aware of how wonderful The Boyfriend is. More than once, I’ve given him good reason to yell and scream at me – and I mean that literally. And somehow, he has been able to calm himself to the point where we can just talk about it. Even though a few times, he’s kind of hit below the belt (without meaning to) verbally, we talk. We don’t yell, we don’t hit, we don’t call each other names.

I came home from buddies place, and wrapped my arms so tight around The Boyfriend just kissing and hugging him. I am honestly so lucky to have him. Even though some of the shit he does ticks me off sometimes, I wouldn’t trade him for all the world. The whole experience just made me appreciate my relationship so much more, so much more.

Well, I have some other adult-type writing to do now. So, I hope your night finds you in good health and great comfort.

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I feel quite bad. I’ve been inspired by a template on another blog, and have written quality content on another blog, and have essentially neglected this blog. Please forgive me.

These last few days have felt like they’ve dragged on forever. And daylight savings time sure isn’t helping. The sun shining brighter today, and longer, has me thinking it’s two hours earlier than it currently is…

Today has been one of those days, where I’ve run the gamut of emotions. From worried to relieved, happy to mad, and everywhere in between. I woke up early this morning, and The Boyfriend had coffee ready for me. My temples were pulsing, and the corner of my eye felt as if it were going to explode at any moment.

I took my anti-inflammatory, and rubbed the topical ointment on my aching knees and neck. I hopped on the computer, and typed through the forming of a migraine. Took some tylenol and finished another part to what seems to be the story that never ends!

The phone rang. I picked up the phone and a very professional voice asked for me. I’m thinking, “It’s Sunday, they don’t work on Sundays. What the heck is this?!?!?”, as I’m told Goober is in the emergency room. Don’t worry, I already did that. He’s not hurt and he’s not in trouble, though it looks like he’s finally going to get some help, whether he likes it or not.

After calling the family to let them know, it seemed like my phone rung off the hook for the rest of the day, even though that’s probably a mass over-exaggeration. I sure felt like I was pushing the green talk button every time my fingers left the keyboard.

I’m hoping to be able to go up and see him tomorrow, and take him some smokes since he’s probably nicking hard right now. Hopefully, he’s just sleeping. That’s what I did.

The kids seem to be stepping over lines left and right, the more the stress levels grow in the house. Kaeidyn’s attitude is beginning to take control of her, and I see more of myself in her with each passing day. She’s taken to hitting, and cries like she’s the victim when she hurts her brothers. While she becomes meaner to Kenzie and Keirnan, she insists on taking care of Carter.

From listening to the adults play games together, Kenzie began saying, “I’m going to kick your ass!” today. Every single time he’d say it, Kaeidyn would scream out, “Kenzie’s saying a bad word!”, and again I was forced to remind myself to stop saying bad words so much.

Keirnan’s been racing around the house, whining whenever anything stands in his way. He’s starting to get another cold, which couldn’t have come at a worst time, as he has a dentist appointment on the 22nd.

Carter is becoming louder and louder with each passing day. His cries penetrate the deepest parts of your ear, and mumbles of “mamamama” are a normal part of his daily tantrum. I was on the floor tickling him today and discovered, the harder he laughs, the less he smiles. I begin tickling him and he’s got a huge smile on his face. He starts laughing, and the smile fades until he’s almost completely straight faced.

I have spent the last two days, uncomfortably sitting in front of my computer monitor, hashing out blog posts like the end of the world was coming. It’s been fun, and I feel every creative juice in my bones flowing freely. This time of year does that to me. When the sun starts to shine, and the trees start looking alive again. Snow begins to melt and I no longer have to wear nine sweaters and two jackets just to walk to the car!

It’s time like these that I miss my beautiful guitar, my muse. I feel like now would be a perfect time to sing and play. Alas, she sits broken behind the DVD shelf. Oh well, someday…

Well I think I’ve pretty much summed up my day, and here’s to another one tomorrow 😉

This is so unlike me, writing so little. Now that there’s no NaBloPoMo to be accountable to, I just forget to write. Not only that, I’ve been busy working on so many things online, that I keep spending more time on that stuff than this stuff.

I’ve been researching a bunch to start thinking about getting lessons up on The Art Of… blog. Then I was checking out Google Sites last night, and decided to make one site. So, The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – The Rantings Network Headquarters, was born.

A little about The Rantings Network. Firstly, it includes all the online activities that I’m doing which include:

I also have a Ning Network and a Facebook Fan Page in the works, though no real content has gone up yet. I’m hoping to change that soon. Once all these sites are complete with content, I’m gonna start promoting the heck out of them, that way I’m sure I’m getting visitors.

Today has felt like an incredibly long day, though not much has happened. I woke up this morning in a rotten mood, but then shortly after I woke up, I got this mad desire to clean. Last night, Keirnan had gotten into the soya sauce and spilt it down the side of the stove. So I did some dishes and cleaned most of the counters and stove off. Eventually, hopefully before we go grocery shopping next, I’ll get that fridge cleaned out.

I have so many things that I need to get done around this house. Laundry is starting to pile up like crazy again, and it’s so hard to keep track of clean clothes and dirty clothes. I have 3 dressers between 6 people! So alot of the clothes stay in laundry baskets. If it were just me, I would most likely be able to keep track of what’s clean and what’s dirty. But with three kids and a boyfriend going through the laundry baskets and throwing clothes in and out of laundry baskets, it’s extremely hard to keep track of it all.

My back has been hurting really bad all day today. Right in between my shoulder area. The Boyfriend rubbed my back twice tonight and it’s seemed to do nothing at all for me. Maybe a nice little workout will help out.

I was on a roll with working out. I did three days and then took a day break and then I did another three days. It’s been two or three days now of not doing a workout, and I’m kind of craving one. My body is definitely not what it used to be. I was attempting a yoga workout the other day, and my balance and flexibility is so off compared to what it used to be. Before kids, I could do the splits and stand on one foot while I lifted the other foot above my head. Now, I can hardly touch my toes and it’s incredibly difficult for me to stand on one foot for any length of time.

The kids are all doing very good. Kaeidyn’s now opened up to the idea of liking Lukas, a boy in her class. Today she says to me, “I think I might be Lukas’ girlfriend”. The only time she doesn’t like talking about Lukas is when Alfie is around. He teases her and she takes it very personally. She doesn’t like that Daddy thinks it’s funny. I explained to her the other day when we were coming home from school, that he wasn’t making fun of her, that it was that he was excited for her. When I told her that it was because, for the rest of her life we’ll be able to tell her about Lukas, her first crush, she changed her mind about not liking Lukas and finally admitted it, though we knew it a long time ago 😉

Keirnan has had an obsession with water these last couple of days. If I leave water in the sink, he goes out and plays with it. Twice now, he’s gotten in trouble for playing in the toilet downstairs. My brother comes over and leaves cups of water everywhere, and Keirnan sticks his hand in them. Needless to say, we’ve been dealing with alot of wetness.

Kenzie’s been doing pretty good, though I don’t think he could say “Mommy” more in a day. He’ll literally sit on the floor and just go, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy”.  The first thing I still hear every morning is, “Can I play a game?”, and now it’s switched from Lego: Star Wars in the kitchen, to wanting to play games on the Wii in the living room. The good thing about that is that he’s not playing games very often at all, because I normally tend to be watching TV or don’t want to listen to Kaeidyn and Kenzie fight over whether they’re going to play Tennis or Sword Fighting.

Carter is officially rolling over from his back to his stomach. He’s been doing his stomach to his back for awhile now, and just yesterday started back to stomach. He’s even starting to sit by himself. But he’s been incredibly clingy, always wanting someone to hold him. Luckily, The Boyfriend’s been home for a couple days and has been an incredible help.

The Boyfriend had two days off, and on his second day off woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible pain in his tooth. He called in sick that night and the next night went to the doctor. He walked out with a prescription for pain meds, anti-inflammatories, and amoxicillin. The doctor told him he had to take another night off work so that he could see how he reacted to the medication.

Unfortunately, he had to go back to work tonight. Though, only five more days of work  until he has a week off for his birthday. March 3rd, my man is officially as old as I am. Things have been doing better for us, though I go in and out of it constantly during the day. Hopefully we’ll get over this hump, and hopefully it will be soon.

Well, I guess that’s all I really have to write. Hopefully it won’t be so long until the next time 😉

So I was saddened this morning, when Kaeidyn came in with 5 minutes to spare before the bell rang for school. My alarm has officially bitten the dust. I’ve had it for 13 years and it just now crapped out on me. Sadness…

Kaeidyn ended up not going to school today, which at first made her really upset and angry, but when I agreed to do school stuff with her, she changed her mind. So we practiced some writing, worked on her “sh”, “s” and “st” sounds and then we played Wii all afternoon.

My arm is killing me from all the swinging. I feel like my bicep in my right arm is already bigger. Seriously, if I don’t lose weight playing these games, there’s something seriously wrong, because you move so much (even when you’re trying not to) and there’s no way that you’re not burning calories. It also forces you to use your core alot, the whole knees bent, legs shoulder width apart, standing up straight, and keeping things tight is really in play when you’re playing baseball, or archery (which I rock at ;)), or cycling.

After coming home with the Wii yesterday morning, with Wii Sports (which comes with the Wii), The Boyfriend and I decided we wanted more games, which resulted in a trip back to Wal-Mart. So then we got the Wii Sports Resort and My Sims Party. Sports Resort is so much fun, I could play it all day (if my arm wasn’t killing me). The My Sims Party I’m still getting used to. You have to use your head in that one, and I’m not so great at that whole aspect of it yet. Moving and using my head, too much to deal with 😉

We all did our fitness tests with our Mii’s. The Boyfriend and I did ours yesterday, and Kaeidyn and Kenzie did theirs today. The Boyfriend’s Day 1 Fitness Age = 33, Day 2 Fitness Age = 27. My Day 1 Fitness Age = 78, Day 2 Fitness Age = 67. Kaeidyn and Kenzie both got a Fitness Age of 80!!! They both love to play boxing, and Kaeidyn has officially trumped everyone in the house, and has beaten The Boyfriend multiple times (though if it helps him feel any better, while a 5-year-old can kick his butt, this 23-year-old sure can’t!!).

I got to take a nap all by myself today. The Boyfriend stayed up with the kids, even Carter! I had planned to sleep for 2-3 hours at the very least, but was woken up to a strange man’s voice and got about an hour in (strange voice was a guy trying to get us to switch from our current entertainment bundle provider, Shaw, to Telus’ entertainment bundle). Surprisingly, the hour of sleep was exactly all I needed. I woke up with a ton of energy, did a ton of dishes (which was desperately needing to be done), and then played Wii for a bit before making dinner.

I also realized today, that I’ve been spelling surprise wrong for at least a decade. I had always spelt it “suprise” and never thought anything of it from there. Then today, I’m typing away on Facebook, and I write something like “Are you suprised?”, and the this spell checker that we have squiggles some lines underneath. I’m like “What?!?!?!”, then I realized that there’s definitely a letter missing. So I’ve been correcting myself ever since. Now if only I could start spelling definitely write, instead of always writing “definetely”.

I had started this blog night, with absolutely no ideas on what to write. The Boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch, watching Jeopardy, and I was all whining about having nothing to write about. Get me in front of my blog, and I suddenly become a story teller. May be a boring life, but that’s what it is to be me 😉 Until we meet again…

My Wii Wishlist

So today, Wal-Mart got a shipment of 25 Wii’s in. The Boyfriend will be picking us up one first thing in the morning. So YAY, I’m getting a Wii. Now it’s just a matter of getting games that I want, and boy are there alot!!!

The Big Bang Theory was on tonight, and Penny and Leonard (played by Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki) broke up, or maybe they didn’t. I really hope they don’t… Just my personal opinion.

Today was a relatively boring day. I walked Kaeidyn to school. It was cold and snowflakes kept getting all in my nose. It was fun picking her up, because we climbed through mounds of snow together. From the time that I woke up, until about 3:30 PM (except for when I was walking to and from Kaeidyn’s school), I was working on blog stuff.

Like I said the other day, I’m working really hard on getting an about type page up for this blog. Then I’ve been working super hard on the XXX Rated Rantings, and then I remembered I had a Tumblr Account, so I decided to use that as an updates type blog, where you can get updates on both the XXX Rated and PG Rantings.

For those of you who are interested in updates, but don’t want to read about the other blog, there’s always the option of subscribing to this blog by RSS, e-mail or subscribing to the Mailing List.

Kenzie did pretty awesome with games today, for the most part. After not being allowed to play all day yesterday, he was told today that he couldn’t play until after lunch. Even though he asked a hundred times, he didn’t throw any fits or doing any real pouting. After lunch, Alfie came over and watched the kids while I went for a nap with Carter and The Boyfriend, and that’s when Kenzie got to put on games. He played until dinner time which was a little ridiculous, but that’s only because I was sleeping.

I think Keirnan’s probably going through another growing spurt. He’s been super clumsy lately, almost every time he walks past the computer desk he hits his head, he trips over his own feet. Kaeidyn and Kenzie both start eating alot right before they go through a growth spurt, they also complain alot about their legs hurting, especially Kaeidyn. Keirnan seems to be tripping all over himself.

So while I solved one creative problem, I’ve noticed a whole slew of others. I’ve been really into the creativity these last couple of days. Constantly singing new songs (though I haven’t written anything down, need a guitar for that kind of flow), writing like crazy. It’s been good. I lost my camera though, so I’m sad because I can’t take pictures of everything.

I keep saying I’m gonna go over to my Mom’s and do some serious recording. I want to lay down at least 5 good tracks. But going over there takes some very careful planning. First, gotta get Alfie to come and watch the three kids (because I can’t have them screaming in the background during recordings, you can hear that on YouTube), and then The Boyfriend and Carter have to come with me. Carter, because I haven’t really gotten the hang of breast pumping enough for a really good feeding and The Boyfriend because I’m too sketchy of being the first person whose walked through the door in close to a month. Ugh the thought of it alone sends shivers down my spine!!

But I went and downloaded the demo version of Fruity Loops 9, so I’ve been playing around on that all day. Already created two awesome beginnings to songs. Unfortunately, because it’s only the demo version, I can’t save anything. Oh well, I’ll just keep re-starting over and over. Maybe tomorrow I’ll finally head over to my Mom’s and then I can solve all my problems. Yeah right, probably not tomorrow, I’ll have a Wii that’ll keep my here.

Well I’ll write more tomorrow. I think I’m gonna have to carry on with this NaBloPoMo thing. The first month was too easy 😉