Posts Tagged ‘Wii’

So again, I failed NaBloPoMo. A whole three days into it, and at first it wasn’t completely my fault. My timezone in WordPress wasn’t right, so when I posted at 11 something one night, it didn’t show up until after midnight. I’ve fixed the timezone issue.

Then I’ve had two days of complete and utter soreness, and the last thing I’ve wanted to do is sit in front of the computer. It’s absolutely horrible. I haven’t done anything really except for sitting on the couch. My entire body feels swollen (even though it’s not), and every bone feels brittle and like it’s on the verge of breaking. I feel weak and heavy and fragile… This kind of soreness isn’t that bad when it’s isolated to one area, but when it expands to your entire body, it’s intense and ridiculous. I’m completely sick of it.

I had written up a post a couple days ago of the exact same title (those of you following me on Twitter, might have followed a blank link…), and for some reason after I published it, the entire post disappeared. I wasn’t in the mood to write it up again then, so here’s my attempt…

The kids are all doing pretty wonderfully. Finally went for a nap today (after almost an entire week of planning everyday for a nap). Today was one of those days when a nap seemed completely out of the question, but somehow we managed to squeeze one in and it was wonderful. The best three hours I’ve had in awhile. The kids, even though they claimed they weren’t tired and instead wanted to just sit quietly in their room, actually fell asleep before I even tucked Carter and I in.

This morning, Alfie’s Mom and Step-Dad came and picked the kids up and took them shopping. They hadn’t seem them since Christmas, so it was a nice thing for them and they were so excited. Keirnan got the world’s most annoying bunny toy. You push a button, the bunny pops up and the thing (as loud as it can) goes, “Boing, Boing”. Kaeidyn got new earrings, so now she’s got five different pairs to pick from. So far, she’s liking the blue flowers The Boyfriend got her best. Kenzie got a Ben 10 game for the Wii, the first thing he did when he got home was play it, and now he’s been asking ever since.

That’s two days in a row that The Boyfriend and I have gotten a big chunk of time away from the older kids. Yesterday we had to go pick up a barbecue, because we’re both getting sick of not being able to cook anything thanks to the stupid load limiter. So Kenzie and Keirnan stayed with Alfie, and Kaeidyn and Carter went over to Mama T’s. The Boyfriend and I went shopping and it was beautiful.

Even though we were in the loudness of our local Wal-Mart, it was so nice and quiet. I seriously never realized how easy it is to take silence for granted. Because now, when it does happen, it is seriously the most comforting and relaxing thing I’ve ever experienced. And when I don’t have it, I wish that I did…

It was nice to finally get away from Carter for longer than five or ten minutes. He’s been such a mama suck lately, and of course, I’ve been letting him. So I imagine it’s going to get worse. None of the other kids were like this at all. I could leave them and they hardly noticed. They didn’t like to be held or cuddled that much, and when they did, it was normally by someone else. So I’ve never experienced this whole, “I want my Mommy all the time” thing. It’s truly extremely exhausting.

Waking up to Carter lately has been the most fun and annoying thing in the world. He’s gotten where he likes to pull himself up on everything. And I mean absolutely anything. Most days, I’ll wake up to him trying to stand by using my face as his support, and then him sucking on my hair. I think he’s seriously going to be walking before he’s sitting. He pulls himself up on the ottoman, he pulls himself up on the couch, the arm of the couch, legs. He loves to be standing. Though, do you think we could get him to sit by himself? Not a chance…

Keirnan is working really hard on picking up this whole talking thing. At least once a day, Kaeidyn starts saying words and will make him repeat after her. I’ve been trying the same thing. I can make out what he’s saying almost everytime he talks, but I think that’s just because I’m his Mom and not because he’s actually making any sense, because I seem to be the only one picking it up. He seems to only say the starting syllable in a word, and sentence structure is beyond him at this point.

Kaeidyn has been doing nothing but bugging me to put on make-up. Even after she’s just put some on, she’s asking to put more on. She’s still wearing make-up from before we went out yesterday, and the make-up that she put on at Mama T’s (she did both their make-up, and has been going off all day asking if Grandma’s called yet to get her hair fixed!), and she’s still asking if she can have some on. She’s been rhyming up a storm these last couple of days too. Mostly with made up words, but rhyming nonetheless.

Kenzie hasn’t been doing too much besides wanting to play his games.  The good thing about the whole game playing thing, is he almost never wants to play alone anymore. He’s always asking people to play games with him. At Kaeidyn’s parent/teacher conference, since she’s in speech therapy, the teacher offered us an application to The Bright Beginnings program, which is a pre-kindergarten program for kids with special needs. She figured since Kaeidyn had speech problems, Kenzie might too.

I was going through the application the other day and I don’t think Kenzie qualifies at all. He already talks better than Kaeidyn, in his own right. Kaeidyn seems to understand bigger concepts than he does, but Kenzie puts the ‘s’ where it’s supposed to be in words. I was sitting on the couch reading with them the other day, which doesn’t happen nearly as often as I would like, and Kenzie seemed to understand his colors really well and his numbers too. So I don’t think I’ll be trying to get him into The Bright Beginnings Program, maybe Keirnan when he turns three or four though.

I’ve been craving a different look for my dull, plain and ridiculously shapeless hair. So when we went and got the barbecue yesterday, we picked me up some hair rollers, so hopefully I’ll be able to get some ringlets going, as soon as I get the energy to actually put them in my hair. I’ve been buying so many girly products lately, that you’d actually believe that I was a girl… It’s different to say the least.

Well, it’s officially time for me to decide what we’re going to barbecue tonight. It’s either gonna be pork or chicken. Gotta get The Boyfriend to spark it up because I’m afraid of propane 😉 Yay for the load limiter and barbecuing when it feels like winter outside.

Tomorrow’s gonna be an exciting day, because Goober gets to come home for a couple hours. We’re all going over to Mama T’s for a visit and it’s going to be good, I hope. I hope the stress of the visit (and the lack of the institution – I know that was really hard for me) isn’t too much for him and he’s fine when he goes back. The kids are really excited to see him too.

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Today, Carter and I had a doctor’s appointment. It went pretty well. Carter is doing great, though he dropped from being in the 80th percentile in his weight, down to the 25th percentile. I knew he wasn’t gaining much from my breast milk alone.

At first I was disappointed to hear it, especially being that I think he feels ridiculously heavy. I have a hard time holding him for the length of a breastfeeding, because I think he’s so heavy. But since his last appointment at about 2 months, he’s only gained 2 lbs. So the doctor suggested we try out some solids and maybe start supplementing with formula. I was disappointed, but then I thought about the fact that I’ve been breastfeeding for five months, and only breastfeeding. The only other kid I breastfed for any length of time was Kenzie and that was just a little over a month.

I got my depo prescription filled, and now have to go get that injected. Complained about the pain in my knee, which keeps coming and going. When I was pregnant, it hurt all the time. Now, it goes in and out of hurting. So I got an x-ray, though it showed nothing, so I got an oral and topical anti-inflammatory. Then I mentioned the sketchiness at night, and was given some Ativan.

I know I’ve heard about Ativan, though I can’t remember much about it. The doctor knows that I’m breastfeeding, though the warning says not to use it while you’re breastfeeding. So before I start taking that one, I’ll be calling my local pharmacist. I’ve been “seeing” the same pharmacist (in a very informal manner) since I moved here. He’s a great pharmacist. He describes each medication in detail, lists off commonly reported side effects, and has the answers to my sometimes obvious answered questions. I just realized, that I don’t even know his name… I just know he’s the pharmacist at Wal-Mart 😉

The other day, we whipped out the electric razor, and now Keirnan has no hair (yes, we even got rid of his little rat tail that he’s had since birth!), Kenzie has much shorter hair, though his needs a touch up because he kept jumping all over the place. And Kaeidyn was jealous that the boys got their hair cut with the razor, so I cut her bangs with it. They all look so different when they get their hair cut. Kenzie especially. He looks much more skinny with less hair on his head 😉

Keirnan said his first full and very clear sentence today. “What’s this movie?” was the question he blurted out at Alfie. I couldn’t believe how clear it was. I believe completely that Keirnan can talk, he just doesn’t want to. He knows if he doesn’t, his sister or brother will step in and talk for him. The Boyfriend says he was the same way growing up. And that makes me think that I applaud any woman in the entire world, who raises boys without a man around. Because I would be completely lost!

Kenzie has been playing less and less games it seems. And it almost seems like it’s happened completely naturally. He doesn’t like being secluded away from everyone so much. If I fall asleep on the couch while Kaeidyn’s at school, then he’ll play the Wii. But other than that, he asks about them still, but hardly ever plays them. It’s been really good.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed these last couple of days, though still in really good spirits. The messes in the house keep piling up and seem harder and harder to maintain (especially with how tired I’ve been these last couple of days), the kids seem to be getting louder and louder (especially Carter who seems to only cry and eat and sleep!) and even though I’m hardly doing anything, by the end of the day I feel tired and sore and stressed about the day to come.

I was also disappointed today at the doctor’s, when I stepped upon the scale and it creeped past the 136 lbs I was the last time I weighed myself. I won’t tell you where it’s at, because I’m still in denial, but I will tell you that I’m absolutely not happy with it. I need to start doing more cardio and ab workouts and get rid of my baby pooch…

Yesterday, Alfie took the kids overnight. The Boyfriend had to work last night, so I stayed up as late as I could so that I could sleep in with him in the morning. We slept until almost 3 PM, and it was such a good sleep. The only thing that sucked about my sleep at all, was around 9 AM, Goober showed up and starting tapping on the door. He hung out around the outside of the house until we woke up at 3.

At about 4:30, we picked up the kids. They were so good tonight. Kenzie fell asleep on the couch, played about 20 minutes of games before bed, and then went to bed with ease. Kaeidyn was really good and all she really cared about was that we were both wearing pants underneath our dresses and that I cleaned her ears.

I was trying to get Keirnan to copy me saying everyone’s name. He is so lazy about it. Kaeidyn is “aiyan”, Kenzie is “ehzie”, Carter is “cah”. He’s been trying to copy everybody with talking, and it just doesn’t seem to be working out for him at all.

Carter slept with us all day, waking up a couple times and just playing in between The Boyfriend and I. Then when we got out of bed, he was in such an incredible mood. Laughing and talking. The Boyfriend thinks he’s starting to say Mama, and claims that everytime I leave, Carter will start whining “mamamamama, mamamamama”. It’s so cute.

None of the other kids seemed to really notice when I was gone. They preferred to be with Mama T or Alfie. So it’s nice to have that change. It’s a good thing The Boyfriend and I are planning on having at least one more kid (a girl) sometime down the road, that way he can experience the whole Daddy’s baby thing.

The Boyfriend is beginning to seriously despise his job, and almost every single day, there’s a comment about going down to part time or looking for another job altogether. I feel bad for him, and I generally just feel bad. It’s not that he hates the job at all, it’s that he hates the time of the job. He hates that it takes him away from Carter and me and the kids, because when he’s not working, he’s sleeping so that he’s not tired for work.

I keep trying to tell him that to me, it’s not that big of a deal. The only times it bothers me is when I’m incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed, or when he sleeps most of his days off. I still think the biggest solver to the problem, would be some sort of routine. But we’ve had no luck creating, or sticking to, any of our big plans that we had at the beginning of this year.

The other day, The Boyfriend and I, for the first time in our lives, purchased stuff online. So around the 15th, we should be getting Mario Party 8 for the Wii! Plus two more things that you can read about on The XXX Rated Rantings. We’re super excited. Too bad I can’t drink yet, because Mario Party games make for fun drinking games 😉

I think starting next month (April WOO! It means it’s closer to summer!), I’m gonna start NaBloPoMo again. I hate that I post so little now. I think maybe it’d be fun to do NaBloPoMo on both the PG Rantings and The XXX Rated Rantings. I totally think I could manage it, so maybe that’s what I’ll do for April.

We definitely didn’t do as much cleaning as I hoped we would’ve during The Boyfriend’s holiday. So I’m really really hoping (and planning) that this week will be incredibly productive, and I’ll get a few things crossed off of my ever-growing checklist. Three big goals are the kitchen, the bathroom and my room. Wish me luck 😉

I’ve also been slacking massively on my workouts, so I think this week, the goal is to pick it back up and start working out again. Hopefully I’ll be able to stick to it.

The Boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch today, and I was feeding Carter and commented on Carter’s feet. Since the day he was born, his big toe separates from his other toes. There’s a huge gap there. Tonight, we were looking closer, and the toe next to big toe, curves. He literally has these little bird feet.

I took him for a bath today, and that was a gong show. Now that he’s figured out how to roll from his back to his stomach, he kept rolling over in the bath. Normally, he loves taking baths and kicks and squirms and squeals. Today, he didn’t like that bath at all. I laid him down in it, he starts screaming. Then he rolls over, start screaming more. Needless to say, it was an extremely quick bath.

Keirnan, the wonderful, curious little brat that he is, was horrible today. Most of the morning he was fussy, then in the afternoon when I started some cleaning, he was literally right underneath of me the entire time, and then right before dinner he goes downstairs, not completely uncommon of him. He goes down there to play with his cars alot, so naturally I assume that’s what he’s doing. Though I think it’s mighty odd that it’s time for me to cook dinner, and he’s nowhere around.

So I go downstairs to check on him, and I get to about the fourth step from the bottom, and find a HUGE pile of laundry soap dumped all over the floor. He’s sitting there with his hands all in it. This is after emptying the toilet onto the bathroom floor the other day. He’s just getting into everything.

With the older two, when they were this age, we lived on a single floor of a two-bedroom apartment. There weren’t many places the two of them could go to get into much trouble. Keirnan on the other hand, has two floors, three rooms and a downstairs bathroom to get into!

Kenzie and Kaeidyn have both been getting really into games lately. I wake up to Kaeidyn and Kenzie playing Lego: Star Wars. Less than an hour later, Kenzie’s asking if him and Kaeidyn could play the Wii together. After they get kicked off the Wii for arguing so much, they both come and play together on the computer.

I’m scared to see what my kids are going to be like as they age. They’re so over-stimulated. Electronics like rule their life. I wish my childhood would’ve been more like that. All the things I wanted to know when I was younger, would’ve been right at my fingertips. I tell you though, I would’ve been one smart and very cocky SOB.

I was trying to fix the bluriness of my TV today, and we have my guitar in it’s case behind one of three DVD shelves (I know, ridiculous). So I’m screwing around back there, and had to pull my guitar out. I miss my guitar so much. I seriously need to invest in a new one. Or some sort of musical instrument. It’s driving me nuts not playing. And I’ve been coming up with so many good little ditties, and I would love to be putting some of them down.

This morning was pretty awesome. I finally got a sleep in day. Still not a very late sleep in, only 10 AM. But at 9, I called The Boyfriend to take Carter upstairs, so I could sleep by myself for an hour. I slept incredibly soundly, and it felt so good. The Boyfriend even got a pretty good sleep in today, and I had no problems whatsoever getting him out of bed. I went down said “It’s 7 o’clock, dinner’s ready and coffees percolating” and he jumped up out of bed, curious what was for dinner. He always asks and I never tell him 😉

I even went out of my way to cuddle with him today. It was more or less pointed out to me the other night, that it takes being intimate to receive intimacy. If I don’t cuddle him, he won’t cuddle me. If I don’t make sexual advances at him, he won’t do it to me. It’s very give and take, and I’ve, in a way, been taking without alot of give. So I think it’s officially a goal to change that.

I’m also happy to report that I finally got a decent Wii Fitness Age. I’m officially only at 26!!! The lowest I had gotten before that was 29, and I know you’re thinking “Well 3 years isn’t that much”, but that means that I’m 3 years closer to my actual age. That’s exciting being that the oldest I’ve been is 78!!!

So that’s my day in a nutshell! How was yours?

This is so unlike me, writing so little. Now that there’s no NaBloPoMo to be accountable to, I just forget to write. Not only that, I’ve been busy working on so many things online, that I keep spending more time on that stuff than this stuff.

I’ve been researching a bunch to start thinking about getting lessons up on The Art Of… blog. Then I was checking out Google Sites last night, and decided to make one site. So, The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – The Rantings Network Headquarters, was born.

A little about The Rantings Network. Firstly, it includes all the online activities that I’m doing which include:

I also have a Ning Network and a Facebook Fan Page in the works, though no real content has gone up yet. I’m hoping to change that soon. Once all these sites are complete with content, I’m gonna start promoting the heck out of them, that way I’m sure I’m getting visitors.

Today has felt like an incredibly long day, though not much has happened. I woke up this morning in a rotten mood, but then shortly after I woke up, I got this mad desire to clean. Last night, Keirnan had gotten into the soya sauce and spilt it down the side of the stove. So I did some dishes and cleaned most of the counters and stove off. Eventually, hopefully before we go grocery shopping next, I’ll get that fridge cleaned out.

I have so many things that I need to get done around this house. Laundry is starting to pile up like crazy again, and it’s so hard to keep track of clean clothes and dirty clothes. I have 3 dressers between 6 people! So alot of the clothes stay in laundry baskets. If it were just me, I would most likely be able to keep track of what’s clean and what’s dirty. But with three kids and a boyfriend going through the laundry baskets and throwing clothes in and out of laundry baskets, it’s extremely hard to keep track of it all.

My back has been hurting really bad all day today. Right in between my shoulder area. The Boyfriend rubbed my back twice tonight and it’s seemed to do nothing at all for me. Maybe a nice little workout will help out.

I was on a roll with working out. I did three days and then took a day break and then I did another three days. It’s been two or three days now of not doing a workout, and I’m kind of craving one. My body is definitely not what it used to be. I was attempting a yoga workout the other day, and my balance and flexibility is so off compared to what it used to be. Before kids, I could do the splits and stand on one foot while I lifted the other foot above my head. Now, I can hardly touch my toes and it’s incredibly difficult for me to stand on one foot for any length of time.

The kids are all doing very good. Kaeidyn’s now opened up to the idea of liking Lukas, a boy in her class. Today she says to me, “I think I might be Lukas’ girlfriend”. The only time she doesn’t like talking about Lukas is when Alfie is around. He teases her and she takes it very personally. She doesn’t like that Daddy thinks it’s funny. I explained to her the other day when we were coming home from school, that he wasn’t making fun of her, that it was that he was excited for her. When I told her that it was because, for the rest of her life we’ll be able to tell her about Lukas, her first crush, she changed her mind about not liking Lukas and finally admitted it, though we knew it a long time ago 😉

Keirnan has had an obsession with water these last couple of days. If I leave water in the sink, he goes out and plays with it. Twice now, he’s gotten in trouble for playing in the toilet downstairs. My brother comes over and leaves cups of water everywhere, and Keirnan sticks his hand in them. Needless to say, we’ve been dealing with alot of wetness.

Kenzie’s been doing pretty good, though I don’t think he could say “Mommy” more in a day. He’ll literally sit on the floor and just go, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy”.  The first thing I still hear every morning is, “Can I play a game?”, and now it’s switched from Lego: Star Wars in the kitchen, to wanting to play games on the Wii in the living room. The good thing about that is that he’s not playing games very often at all, because I normally tend to be watching TV or don’t want to listen to Kaeidyn and Kenzie fight over whether they’re going to play Tennis or Sword Fighting.

Carter is officially rolling over from his back to his stomach. He’s been doing his stomach to his back for awhile now, and just yesterday started back to stomach. He’s even starting to sit by himself. But he’s been incredibly clingy, always wanting someone to hold him. Luckily, The Boyfriend’s been home for a couple days and has been an incredible help.

The Boyfriend had two days off, and on his second day off woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible pain in his tooth. He called in sick that night and the next night went to the doctor. He walked out with a prescription for pain meds, anti-inflammatories, and amoxicillin. The doctor told him he had to take another night off work so that he could see how he reacted to the medication.

Unfortunately, he had to go back to work tonight. Though, only five more days of work  until he has a week off for his birthday. March 3rd, my man is officially as old as I am. Things have been doing better for us, though I go in and out of it constantly during the day. Hopefully we’ll get over this hump, and hopefully it will be soon.

Well, I guess that’s all I really have to write. Hopefully it won’t be so long until the next time 😉

I am sweating so bad!! I just did a 20 minute workout on Your Shape! I gave up after I got to a side plank and my right arm kept snapping underneath my weight. I tried modifying it by putting one knee bent on the ground (still in perfect form), but it was getting too hard for me to hold myself up.

I was literally dripping with sweat during my workout. I was a little disappointed, because I put in that I wanted to strengthen my abs, and it seemed to give me alot more leg workouts. So it was alot of squats, which I guess is good, but my legs aren’t really in need of that much work.

One of these days, probably after we get more batteries now, I’ll take a picture of myself now, with my measurements and then a couple months from now, when I get on a workout routine, I’ll put another full body picture up with the change in measurements. That could potentially be really fun or really embarrassing.

It seems like my knee, back and neck are all going to be hindrances in me completing whatever fitness goal it is that I have, which I think right now is just overall toning. I don’t really think I have any weight to lose, I’m 5’7″ in 136 lbs, and I don’t think that that is that bad. But I do need to tone what I have, at the very least, get a little bit of definition.

Today, The Boyfriend, Kaiedyn, Carter and I all went up to The Boyfriend’s Sister’s place. It was her twins birthday party, and we didn’t have enough room in the car for Kenzie and Keirnan, so it was a nice little half-a-family outing. Kaeidyn got to decorate cookies and she played with tons of kids. Kenzie and Keirnan stayed home with Alfie, and I suppose they had a good time. No complaints from anyone, so it was all good.

It was nice to get out of the house. It’s beginning to sound like it happens alot more than it used to, yet not as much as it did during the summer. I can’t wait for this summer and all our walking. Hopefully, by summer, we’ll have a vehicle of our own and we can all go to some of our favourite places around town here. Maybe even eventually venture out of town.

I think as long as The Boyfriend is working graveyards, we’ve pretty much got two days out of the week to work with, and even that’s pushing it. I hate complaining about his job, because I know that it makes him feel horrible for having the job, even though he had it before we got together. It seriously drives me nuts though that he’s gotta sleep during the day when I’m most active, and he can’t sleep next to me, and then spending extra time together cuts into his sleeping.

Like today, because we went to the birthday party and he didn’t want to leave me yet, he’s only getting about two hours of sleep before heading back to work. It sucks, and I wish he didn’t have to go to work and that way he could just sleep next to me and everything would be fine.

Mama T’s still out at the Olympics and her boyfriend came back into town a couple days back. Goober, my brother, has been avoiding going back to Mama T’s house as much as possible. Today, we went to the birthday party and told Goober he couldn’t be here while Alfie was here, as usual. Told him to come back after 4 PM, though we were getting home at 3. We pull up right at 3, and there he is, standing in the middle of our yard with his huge stick, looking like the town creep. Upon being told he looks like a creep, he says “I know, it’s fun!”. Not so much fun for me!

So the kids got put to bed tonight, and the boys thought it would be hilarious to spill their sippy cups all over their bed. This was after I got mad at them for screaming at the top of their lungs, while The Boyfriend was in the room next to them trying to get his two hours of shuteye. When I saw the sippy cup mess, I gave all the kids “the look”, and now they are laying down quietly. It only took me 15 minutes, which is better than the usual 45 minutes to an hour. Unless The Boyfriend or Alfie deal with it. At bed time, they just don’t listen to me usually.

Carter has been constantly hungry, or so it seems to me, especially at night time. I think my breast milk might be slowing down and he’s not getting enough in the normal amount of time for feedings. We normally go for almost an hour and a half, jumping back and forth between right and left breasts. It’s becoming more and more difficult to stay determined to breastfeed. It’s just so all encompassing, and sometimes I don’t feel like doing it. Even though I know I have to. Hopefully he’ll start solids soon, so that at least I can take a break every once and awhile.

Well that’s pretty much my day in a nutshell. Now it’s time to relax on the couch, watch TV and feed my hungry, teething baby. My head hurts after my workout, so maybe I’ll take one or two tylenol and call it a night shortly after The Boyfriend leaves for work.

I know that it’s only been like maybe four or five days, but I’ve missed blogging. First, we thought the phone, internet and cable had all been disconnected. But upon paying another “large” sum on that bill, it turned out that someone had screwed with our connection, so we had to have a service guy come in and fix everything. Luckily, everything is back up and running smoothly.

It was the longest four or five days of my life. The only good thing about not having cable or internet is that The Boyfriend and I spent some serious quality time together. We finally watched a bunch of movies that we’ve kind of put on the back burner.

Friday, we went and did our pay day shopping trip. We got a few more movies plus three more games. According to the sales associate at Best Buy, the Wii Balance Board not being in stock is an Alberta wide problem. We checked three different places, and not one of them had the balance board, nor did they know when they would next be getting them.

So sadly, no Wii Fit or other fitness game that required the balance board. Luckily for me, Jenny McCarthy has solved that problem with Your Shape. It uses a USB camera, and tells you when you’re doing moves wrong. I’ve done 3 workouts, today was my break day. Yesterday, my abs were killing me.

While I don’t think that the game is that great for correcting form, and I don’t like that to learn how to do the move, you have to stop in the middle of your workout to watch a tutorial for one move, it is really great to be working out and moving around again. It’s a good motivator to try to improve your score!

The Boyfriend also got the Star Wars: Clone Wars game, with a blaster and a light saber. I haven’t played it yet, and the only complaint from The Boyfriend is constantly switching back and forth between the accessories. I think that’s always going to be a complaint about the Wii, until they can figure out a way to make switching between accessories easier.

Then we got the kids My Storybook Workshop. Kaeidyn’s loving the game and puts it on at least once a day to listen to a story and record a song. Kenzie’s still very much into his Lego: Star Wars, especially since Alfie brought over a memory card that has all the characters unlocked. Keirnan has been really into these “Where’s Waldo” type books, but with Taz and Scooby Doo instead.

Alfie finally got a job!!! I’m very excited about him working. The only thing that sucks is, I know I’m gonna start feeling like he’s neglecting the kids. Especially being that he’ll be working, and then when he’s not working, he’ll want to be partying, or out with his buddies or his current female interest. Plus, I know how Alfie is with jobs. How he’s been for years. He’ll spend the first month or two, constantly excited, constantly telling everyone how much he loves his job. Then something will happen, and it will become a fight for him everyday to go. Then something else will happen, and he just won’t go. I’m hoping, now that we’re not together, that it’ll change. That he’ll finally get his life going in a forward direction.

Carter is teething hard right now, and it’s beginning to seriously test my patience. None of my other kids really had a problem with teething. Kaeidyn’s first tooth broke through without us even noticing. One day she had no teeth, the next she had teeth. Kenzie had a bit of a problem, but a tiny bit of Orajel and he was fine. Keirnan was much the same way, and didn’t really start having problems with his teeth until the top four started rotting. Carter on the other hand, with two teeth coming in on the sides, is having a big problem.

He hates his Orajel, he cries almost all the time when he’s sleeping (that’s probably an over-exaggeration. I know he still smiles, but times like these, it’s hard to remember them). Today has been one of those days where I’ve had to put him down and walk away too many times. Sometimes I feel like screaming at him, “I have three other kids, I can’t be permanently attached to you!”, and then I look at him and I remember that he’s just a baby and he doesn’t know any better. I see that he’s in pain, and it’s incredibly hard to stay mad. I feel guilty for putting him down.

Dinner always seems to be the worst time. I go out to start the dishes, and as soon as the water gets turned on, he starts screaming out in the living room. So I’ll finish up the dishes really quickly and come back out and feed him. I always seem to think that that feeding will knock him out and he’ll sleep and let me make dinner in peace. I’m always wrong. Instead, he cries through the entire time that I make dinner, and through the entire time that I eat dinner. So I feed him again. After another half hour or so of crying, I finally give in and force him to take his Orajel. He gets right angry at me, cries even louder, makes these sour lemon faces, and then passes out long enough for me to catch my breath.

I think, all in all, even though my stress limits are through the roof right now, that I’m doing pretty good. I seem to be managing pretty well. Albeit, I’ve yelled more in the last week than I have in at least 6 months, and that’s exhausting. But there’s been alot going on.

First, Alfie starts having sex again. After a year and a half of him trying to “win me back”, he finally has sex with someone else. My only problem with the entire thing, was that he missed a day of calling the kids. Then he got a job, which is exciting, but again takes him away from the kids. Less of a bother being that he’s finally making money! Then my brother, Goober, came back to town.

About a year ago, my brother came back from BC, going through some massive things after a Ketamine trip. He spent some time in a mental institution (after basically being forced out there), got out and went back to BC. We were told he was acting normally, and seemed to be doing better. He came back here, and I don’t think he’s doing better at all. I think he’s doing ALOT worse. Before he seemed to have some sort of control over himself, now it seems like he’s lost and confused and completely unaware of himself.

He talks to himself, to people who aren’t there. He comes up with stuff in his head. Like today, he comes over here, and The Boyfriend’s been borrowing Mama T’s car while she’s out in Vancouver. Well, Goober comes in and says that my Mom sent him a message saying that she wanted us to put the car back in her parking lot. I told him that Mama T gave us permission to use her car until she got back from the Olympics, did she actually message him or was he just making it up. He says “I could be making it up”, so he got snapped at. He listens worse than my 2 year old, Keirnan.

The other day, he comes over just as The Boyfriend and I are putting on P.S. I Love You (which is a really good movie, by the way), and he’s told when he walks in that we’re getting ready to watch a movie so he has to be quiet. The kids had already been told that they had to be quiet, and if they weren’t going to be quiet to go to the play room. Kaeidyn and Keirnan were sitting quietly watching the movie and Kenzie was playing games, and Goober starts making noises. Then he starts playing with Keirnan. He gets told to be quiet and so does Keirnan. Keirnan sits back and quiets down, Goober on the other hand, starts making more noise. After the sixth time of telling him to be quiet, he got kicked out of the house.

He’s just been pushing it so hard. I don’t know for sure what “it” is, but I don’t like when he pushes “it”. I don’t know if I believe that he’s like this because he can’t control it. Most of the time, I think he’s doing it intentionally. If I weren’t to think about it like that, I would probably worry alot. I had a big hand in who my brother is today. I taught him alot of the things he knows.

I sat beside him while we were kids, practicing reading every single day. I went along for every appointment that concerned his education, from hearing tests to meetings with speech therapists and everywhere in between. I played games with him to help his lazy eye and extended neck muscles. Countless hours, we sat with a broomstick between us, pulling each other back and forth. Countless hours, I spent in his classroom at school, helping his teacher and going to meetings with his special reading teacher at school.

When we both were teenagers, I introduced Goober to punk rock, and showed him the way of the punk. Taught him that being a punk was bigger than you and me. Taught him why good music was good music. Took him to his first punk rock show and skanked in the pit with him. Gave him his first mohawk, and taught him how to use Knox Gelatin to get the perfect liberty spike.

And now, he’s like a ghost of his former self. Five years ago, I would’ve told you that he had the potential to do anything. He had held a job for over a year (which was something that was totally foreign to me), he seemed like his life could go anywhere. Unfortunately, it went somewhere. Somewhere bad and dark and scary and creepy. And I can’t even help him because I simply don’t know how. I’m very skeptical about what is really going on with him, and that’s my biggest problem. Plus, I have four kids and little time to help myself, let alone anyone else. I hate that I don’t even feel like he’s my baby brother anymore, I feel like he’s gone. Now, he’s just a guy that I’m morally obligated to. It sucks. I miss him.

Kaeidyn went to her first Birthday Party on Sunday. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to take her, though it’s probably for the best. The Boyfriend took her down to the Kerrywood Nature Center, and she spent about 2 1/2 hours down there with some of her friends from school. It’s amazing how much she’s grown…

I’ve been sketching out pretty badly these last couple of days. Had my worst bout yet, the other night when The Boyfriend took a sick day. Carter was breathing loud, The Boyfriend was breathing loud and I couldn’t carry out my normal routine of listening to the sounds of my house and analyzing all of them and then talking myself out of going to check to see if someone broke into the house, and eventually, I just gave in and came and slept upstairs on the couch. Unfortunately, that didn’t solve my problem and I spent the next three hours on the couch analyzing every sound and convincing myself that it was just the heater.

I’m thinking about talking to my doctor about sleeping pills or anti-anxiety pills or something. The panic attacks at night are getting ridiculous. During the day, I seem to be doing fine. I’m in a pretty good mood most days, though snappy because I’m lacking in sleep. It’s one of those things that I’m nervous about though. I’ve been on anti-depressants before, and I was on sleeping pills for a month to reset my sleeping schedule awhile back. But it’s not something I really want to repeat. It wasn’t something I wanted in the first place, it was more something I needed. I’m starting to feel the need for it again. So we’ll see. I have to go see the doctor again next month, so unless it gets really bad before then, I’ll talk to him about it then.

Well, even though it’s only been four or five days, it feels amazing to be back blogging! Can’t wait to do it again 😉