Posts Tagged ‘Shopping’

Yesterday, Alfie took the kids overnight. The Boyfriend had to work last night, so I stayed up as late as I could so that I could sleep in with him in the morning. We slept until almost 3 PM, and it was such a good sleep. The only thing that sucked about my sleep at all, was around 9 AM, Goober showed up and starting tapping on the door. He hung out around the outside of the house until we woke up at 3.

At about 4:30, we picked up the kids. They were so good tonight. Kenzie fell asleep on the couch, played about 20 minutes of games before bed, and then went to bed with ease. Kaeidyn was really good and all she really cared about was that we were both wearing pants underneath our dresses and that I cleaned her ears.

I was trying to get Keirnan to copy me saying everyone’s name. He is so lazy about it. Kaeidyn is “aiyan”, Kenzie is “ehzie”, Carter is “cah”. He’s been trying to copy everybody with talking, and it just doesn’t seem to be working out for him at all.

Carter slept with us all day, waking up a couple times and just playing in between The Boyfriend and I. Then when we got out of bed, he was in such an incredible mood. Laughing and talking. The Boyfriend thinks he’s starting to say Mama, and claims that everytime I leave, Carter will start whining “mamamamama, mamamamama”. It’s so cute.

None of the other kids seemed to really notice when I was gone. They preferred to be with Mama T or Alfie. So it’s nice to have that change. It’s a good thing The Boyfriend and I are planning on having at least one more kid (a girl) sometime down the road, that way he can experience the whole Daddy’s baby thing.

The Boyfriend is beginning to seriously despise his job, and almost every single day, there’s a comment about going down to part time or looking for another job altogether. I feel bad for him, and I generally just feel bad. It’s not that he hates the job at all, it’s that he hates the time of the job. He hates that it takes him away from Carter and me and the kids, because when he’s not working, he’s sleeping so that he’s not tired for work.

I keep trying to tell him that to me, it’s not that big of a deal. The only times it bothers me is when I’m incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed, or when he sleeps most of his days off. I still think the biggest solver to the problem, would be some sort of routine. But we’ve had no luck creating, or sticking to, any of our big plans that we had at the beginning of this year.

The other day, The Boyfriend and I, for the first time in our lives, purchased stuff online. So around the 15th, we should be getting Mario Party 8 for the Wii! Plus two more things that you can read about on The XXX Rated Rantings. We’re super excited. Too bad I can’t drink yet, because Mario Party games make for fun drinking games ๐Ÿ˜‰

I think starting next month (April WOO! It means it’s closer to summer!), I’m gonna start NaBloPoMo again. I hate that I post so little now. I think maybe it’d be fun to do NaBloPoMo on both the PG Rantings and The XXX Rated Rantings. I totally think I could manage it, so maybe that’s what I’ll do for April.

We definitely didn’t do as much cleaning as I hoped we would’ve during The Boyfriend’s holiday. So I’m really really hoping (and planning) that this week will be incredibly productive, and I’ll get a few things crossed off of my ever-growing checklist. Three big goals are the kitchen, the bathroom and my room. Wish me luck ๐Ÿ˜‰

I’ve also been slacking massively on my workouts, so I think this week, the goal is to pick it back up and start working out again. Hopefully I’ll be able to stick to it.

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This is so unlike me, writing so little. Now that there’s no NaBloPoMo to be accountable to, I just forget to write. Not only that, I’ve been busy working on so many things online, that I keep spending more time on that stuff than this stuff.

I’ve been researching a bunch to start thinking about getting lessons up on The Art Of… blog. Then I was checking out Google Sites last night, and decided to make one site. So, The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – The Rantings Network Headquarters, was born.

A little about The Rantings Network. Firstly, it includes all the online activities that I’m doing which include:

I also have a Ning Network and a Facebook Fan Page in the works, though no real content has gone up yet. I’m hoping to change that soon. Once all these sites are complete with content, I’m gonna start promoting the heck out of them, that way I’m sure I’m getting visitors.

Today has felt like an incredibly long day, though not much has happened. I woke up this morning in a rotten mood, but then shortly after I woke up, I got this mad desire to clean. Last night, Keirnan had gotten into the soya sauce and spilt it down the side of the stove. So I did some dishes and cleaned most of the counters and stove off. Eventually, hopefully before we go grocery shopping next, I’ll get that fridge cleaned out.

I have so many things that I need to get done around this house. Laundry is starting to pile up like crazy again, and it’s so hard to keep track of clean clothes and dirty clothes. I have 3 dressers between 6 people! So alot of the clothes stay in laundry baskets. If it were just me, I would most likely be able to keep track of what’s clean and what’s dirty. But with three kids and a boyfriend going through the laundry baskets and throwing clothes in and out of laundry baskets, it’s extremely hard to keep track of it all.

My back has been hurting really bad all day today. Right in between my shoulder area. The Boyfriend rubbed my back twice tonight and it’s seemed to do nothing at all for me. Maybe a nice little workout will help out.

I was on a roll with working out. I did three days and then took a day break and then I did another three days. It’s been two or three days now of not doing a workout, and I’m kind of craving one. My body is definitely not what it used to be. I was attempting a yoga workout the other day, and my balance and flexibility is so off compared to what it used to be. Before kids, I could do the splits and stand on one foot while I lifted the other foot above my head. Now, I can hardly touch my toes and it’s incredibly difficult for me to stand on one foot for any length of time.

The kids are all doing very good. Kaeidyn’s now opened up to the idea of liking Lukas, a boy in her class. Today she says to me, “I think I might be Lukas’ girlfriend”. The only time she doesn’t like talking about Lukas is when Alfie is around. He teases her and she takes it very personally. She doesn’t like that Daddy thinks it’s funny. I explained to her the other day when we were coming home from school, that he wasn’t making fun of her, that it was that he was excited for her. When I told her that it was because, for the rest of her life we’ll be able to tell her about Lukas, her first crush, she changed her mind about not liking Lukas and finally admitted it, though we knew it a long time ago ๐Ÿ˜‰

Keirnan has had an obsession with water these last couple of days. If I leave water in the sink, he goes out and plays with it. Twice now, he’s gotten in trouble for playing in the toilet downstairs. My brother comes over and leaves cups of water everywhere, and Keirnan sticks his hand in them. Needless to say, we’ve been dealing with alot of wetness.

Kenzie’s been doing pretty good, though I don’t think he could say “Mommy” more in a day. He’ll literally sit on the floor and just go, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy”. ย The first thing I still hear every morning is, “Can I play a game?”, and now it’s switched from Lego: Star Wars in the kitchen, to wanting to play games on the Wii in the living room. The good thing about that is that he’s not playing games very often at all, because I normally tend to be watching TV or don’t want to listen to Kaeidyn and Kenzie fight over whether they’re going to play Tennis or Sword Fighting.

Carter is officially rolling over from his back to his stomach. He’s been doing his stomach to his back for awhile now, and just yesterday started back to stomach. He’s even starting to sit by himself. But he’s been incredibly clingy, always wanting someone to hold him. Luckily, The Boyfriend’s been home for a couple days and has been an incredible help.

The Boyfriend had two days off, and on his second day off woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible pain in his tooth. He called in sick that night and the next night went to the doctor. He walked out with a prescription for pain meds, anti-inflammatories, and amoxicillin. The doctor told him he had to take another night off work so that he could see how he reacted to the medication.

Unfortunately, he had to go back to work tonight. Though, only five more days of work ย until he has a week off for his birthday. March 3rd, my man is officially as old as I am. Things have been doing better for us, though I go in and out of it constantly during the day. Hopefully we’ll get over this hump, and hopefully it will be soon.

Well, I guess that’s all I really have to write. Hopefully it won’t be so long until the next time ๐Ÿ˜‰

So I was saddened this morning, when Kaeidyn came in with 5 minutes to spare before the bell rang for school. My alarm has officially bitten the dust. I’ve had it for 13 years and it just now crapped out on me. Sadness…

Kaeidyn ended up not going to school today, which at first made her really upset and angry, but when I agreed to do school stuff with her, she changed her mind. So we practiced some writing, worked on her “sh”, “s” and “st” sounds and then we played Wii all afternoon.

My arm is killing me from all the swinging. I feel like my bicep in my right arm is already bigger. Seriously, if I don’t lose weight playing these games, there’s something seriously wrong, because you move so much (even when you’re trying not to) and there’s no way that you’re not burning calories. It also forces you to use your core alot, the whole knees bent, legs shoulder width apart, standing up straight, and keeping things tight is really in play when you’re playing baseball, or archery (which I rock at ;)), or cycling.

After coming home with the Wii yesterday morning, with Wii Sports (which comes with the Wii), The Boyfriend and I decided we wanted more games, which resulted in a trip back to Wal-Mart. So then we got the Wii Sports Resort and My Sims Party. Sports Resort is so much fun, I could play it all day (if my arm wasn’t killing me). The My Sims Party I’m still getting used to. You have to use your head in that one, and I’m not so great at that whole aspect of it yet. Moving and using my head, too much to deal with ๐Ÿ˜‰

We all did our fitness tests with our Mii’s. The Boyfriend and I did ours yesterday, and Kaeidyn and Kenzie did theirs today. The Boyfriend’s Day 1 Fitness Age = 33, Day 2 Fitness Age = 27. My Day 1 Fitness Age = 78, Day 2 Fitness Age = 67. Kaeidyn and Kenzie both got a Fitness Age of 80!!! They both love to play boxing, and Kaeidyn has officially trumped everyone in the house, and has beaten The Boyfriend multiple times (though if it helps him feel any better, while a 5-year-old can kick his butt, this 23-year-old sure can’t!!).

I got to take a nap all by myself today. The Boyfriend stayed up with the kids, even Carter! I had planned to sleep for 2-3 hours at the very least, but was woken up to a strange man’s voice and got about an hour in (strange voice was a guy trying to get us to switch from our current entertainment bundle provider, Shaw, to Telus’ entertainment bundle). Surprisingly, the hour of sleep was exactly all I needed. I woke up with a ton of energy, did a ton of dishes (which was desperately needing to be done), and then played Wii for a bit before making dinner.

I also realized today, that I’ve been spelling surprise wrong for at least a decade. I had always spelt it “suprise” and never thought anything of it from there. Then today, I’m typing away on Facebook, and I write something like “Are you suprised?”, and the this spell checker that we have squiggles some lines underneath. I’m like “What?!?!?!”, then I realized that there’s definitely a letter missing. So I’ve been correcting myself ever since. Now if only I could start spelling definitely write, instead of always writing “definetely”.

I had started this blog night, with absolutely no ideas on what to write. The Boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch, watching Jeopardy, and I was all whining about having nothing to write about. Get me in front of my blog, and I suddenly become a story teller. May be a boring life, but that’s what it is to be me ๐Ÿ˜‰ Until we meet again…

My Wii Wishlist

So today, Wal-Mart got a shipment of 25 Wii’s in. The Boyfriend will be picking us up one first thing in the morning. So YAY, I’m getting a Wii. Now it’s just a matter of getting games that I want, and boy are there alot!!!

The Big Bang Theory was on tonight, and Penny and Leonard (played by Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki) broke up, or maybe they didn’t. I really hope they don’t… Just my personal opinion.

Today was a relatively boring day. I walked Kaeidyn to school. It was cold and snowflakes kept getting all in my nose. It was fun picking her up, because we climbed through mounds of snow together. From the time that I woke up, until about 3:30 PM (except for when I was walking to and from Kaeidyn’s school), I was working on blog stuff.

Like I said the other day, I’m working really hard on getting an about type page up for this blog. Then I’ve been working super hard on the XXX Rated Rantings, and then I remembered I had a Tumblr Account, so I decided to use that as an updates type blog, where you can get updates on both the XXX Rated and PG Rantings.

For those of you who are interested in updates, but don’t want to read about the other blog, there’s always the option of subscribing to this blog by RSS, e-mail or subscribing to the Mailing List.

Kenzie did pretty awesome with games today, for the most part. After not being allowed to play all day yesterday, he was told today that he couldn’t play until after lunch. Even though he asked a hundred times, he didn’t throw any fits or doing any real pouting. After lunch, Alfie came over and watched the kids while I went for a nap with Carter and The Boyfriend, and that’s when Kenzie got to put on games. He played until dinner time which was a little ridiculous, but that’s only because I was sleeping.

I think Keirnan’s probably going through another growing spurt. He’s been super clumsy lately, almost every time he walks past the computer desk he hits his head, he trips over his own feet. Kaeidyn and Kenzie both start eating alot right before they go through a growth spurt, they also complain alot about their legs hurting, especially Kaeidyn. Keirnan seems to be tripping all over himself.

So while I solved one creative problem, I’ve noticed a whole slew of others. I’ve been really into the creativity these last couple of days. Constantly singing new songs (though I haven’t written anything down, need a guitar for that kind of flow), writing like crazy. It’s been good. I lost my camera though, so I’m sad because I can’t take pictures of everything.

I keep saying I’m gonna go over to my Mom’s and do some serious recording. I want to lay down at least 5 good tracks. But going over there takes some very careful planning. First, gotta get Alfie to come and watch the three kids (because I can’t have them screaming in the background during recordings, you can hear that on YouTube), and then The Boyfriend and Carter have to come with me. Carter, because I haven’t really gotten the hang of breast pumping enough for a really good feeding and The Boyfriend because I’m too sketchy of being the first person whose walked through the door in close to a month. Ugh the thought of it alone sends shivers down my spine!!

But I went and downloaded the demo version of Fruity Loops 9, so I’ve been playing around on that all day. Already created two awesome beginnings to songs. Unfortunately, because it’s only the demo version, I can’t save anything. Oh well, I’ll just keep re-starting over and over. Maybe tomorrow I’ll finally head over to my Mom’s and then I can solve all my problems. Yeah right, probably not tomorrow, I’ll have a Wii that’ll keep my here.

Well I’ll write more tomorrow. I think I’m gonna have to carry on with this NaBloPoMo thing. The first month was too easy ๐Ÿ˜‰

Today was an incredibly boring day. After getting to sleep in a little late, The Boyfriend realized he still had the keys from work. So he ended up having to take a cab up to the south end. Before leaving he was all like “If they have them, do you want me to pick up a Wii?”. Hells yes I did. Well then they didn’t have them.

The Boyfriend bought the kids a new movie and Super Troopers (which I’ve never had an interest to see, but he insisted that I’d think it was hilarious. I didn’t…), but didn’t come back with any other treats than beef jerky for me. So of course, I had to give him a hard time. I go “You didn’t get me anything?” and he felt all bad and was like “I looked and couldn’t find anything you’d want.” He’s partially right. All the things that I want, that aren’t a Wii or a car, are things that I don’t want enough to get right now.

But of course, I had to be right, and The Boyfriend was all like “I didn’t know what you’d want”, I had to be like “I’ve told you a ton of things that I wanted”, he says “Like what?”, so naturally I started thinking of things. Materials for my home management notebook for one. Though I automatically hated this idea, because it’s just a big fat reminder that I haven’t done anything more with the whole idea.

So I spent the better majority of the morning-afternoon, being bored and thinking about how much I wish I could’ve been playing a Wii. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. Patience is a virtue. Blah blah blah…

Kaeidyn, Kenzie and Keirnan went to American’s and English’s tonight with Alfie, and The Boyfriend was sleeping, so Carter and I hung out on the couch for a few hours tonight. He barely slept at all the entire time, and was mostly in a good mood. He was very talkative. And I would talk back, and use my real laugh instead of my fake laugh when he would smile really big.

The Boyfriend woke up around nine, and Carter was awake and talkative, and started experimenting with his laugh. He’s coo, and then he’d get kind of loud. Then he’d hold his breath and let out with this puff of coo. He kept doing it over and over, like he was practicing laughing. It’s amazing how fast he’s growing up.

An acquaintance of mine, a great friend of Alfie’s, came over today. He hadn’t seen Carter since he was born. Right away, he commented on how huge Carter’s gotten. All the other kids took awhile to “grow up”. They were all premature and had no desire to be older than their age.

Kaeidyn, born 4 weeks premature, started rolling over and crawling around 5 months. She started walking at 9 1/2 months. Kenzie, who was technically born full term, 2 weeks before my due date, was about the same as Kaeidyn. He started walking later, closer to a year for him. Keirnan, born 7 weeks premature, started rolling over and crawling around 6 months and walking around 10 or 11 months. Carter is rolling over and crawling at 3 months (started at 2…)! He’s also teething alot sooner than the other three. They all started about the same time they started crawling.

Does anyone else seriously miss their babies being babies? I never experienced this with any of the other kids. But every time I look at Carter, I just keep thinking about my babies when they were babies, or more babies than what they are now.

If I could go back and re-do it all, I would in a heartbeat. I’d love to experience the whole trauma with Kaeidyn’s birth and the months that followed again, except for I’d like to deal with alot of the things that happened during that time differently. I’d kill to have my pre-Kenzie body back and the energy that I felt after having him. I’d go back to when Keirnan was in the hospital, and I’d spend more time with him, nurturing and caring for him.

I wasn’t present for the other kids like I am with Carter. Life was so hectic and crazy during those times. I almost feel bad when I give Carter all this love and attention that he gets, when the other kids didn’t get that when they were that age. With Kaeidyn, I went through a horrible bout of postpartum depression, plus I had had the infected c-section incision that lasted close to the first month she was home. I didn’t hold her as often as I could’ve, I didn’t play with her as much as I should’ve, I didn’t say “I love you” to her every single day. I regret that…

With Kenzie, I was caught up in boys and my version of partying (which trust me, is probably nothing in comparison to most people’s version of partying). He got alot more than Kaeidyn did, as I had spent two very serious weeks in a mental institution at the beginning of the pregnancy, and had much more control over alot of my emotions. Him and I bonded right from the second he was born, though as he got older, we’ve just kind of drifted apart. He’s too into his games right now (seriously thinking about putting a stop to the whole gaming thing for him for awhile), and I’m just not that into games.

Keirnan was in the hospital for the first month of his life, and I was living in a hotel with the two other kids. Mama T worked full-time, Alfie was out of town and I had no one else to rely on to watch the older kids daily so I could go visit Keirnan. I would go up about every three days, sometimes more. In the first week, it wasn’t that bad. I was only allowed to hold him for 15 minutes a day, I was pumping at home and bringing in bottles of breast milk.

When people started visiting him in the hospital, I would always say “He looks like he’s dead”. He’d be laying there, covered in cords, under his cloth sunglasses (he was under lamps because of his jaundice, which he went in and out of having the whole time he was in the hospital), just barely breathing. I’d reach in and touch him through the holes and he never flinched, never moved. Just laid there.

About 3 weeks in, I cried and cried, for the first time. I hate that I didn’t see him more, and that I didn’t cherish that first month more. I hate that I couldn’t hold him more. Now as he gets older, I wish I had more patience. He’s in that stage of learning to talk, yet having no idea how. He squeals and grunts and points. With Kaeidyn, she picked up on the talking really quickly. As long as she was told to slow down, she could get what she wanted across. Kenzie, I hardly remember what it was like when he started talking. It seemed like one day he couldn’t and the next day he could. Keirnan is just not picking it up at all, and he doesn’t slow down. I’m finding that I don’t do so well during this stage.

I’m glad that I have at least another 10+ years to make up for all the mistakes I made with my kids. At least I have ย the rest of my life to tell all the kids “I love you” everyday. And thankfully, even with all the mistakes I made, all my kids are healthy, happy and to me, their amazing. And even though I miss when they were babies, I can’t wait to see what their going to be like when they’re older.

Kaeidyn will most likely have a rotten attitude, just like her mother. I have a feeling that I’m going to go through alot of the same things my Mom went through with me with that girl. Kenzie, if he sticks with this gamer thing, will most likely be tied up in his bedroom, playing games and designing graphics. I could totally see him being a whiny emo kid (oh wait, he already is ;)). With Keirnan, it’s really too soon to tell. He’ll most likely be like Alfie was growing up, except Keirnan will do it better. For every bit of devilish destruction that Alfie participated in, Keirnan will destroy twice as much. Alfie was/is a wannabe ladies man, Keirnan will be a ladies man. I’m hoping one of them will be super musical, maybe it’ll be Carter.

Well I had planned for this to only be a short post, but looks like that plan didn’t turn out as planned ๐Ÿ˜‰ More again tomorrow, only a week and a day left before I’ve officially completed NaBloPoMo!! YAY!!

So I’ve finally accomplished some things today. First thing this morning, I started working on The Other Rantings of a Tortured Mind (be warned – there is content of a mature nature on this site and should only be viewed by those over the age of 18). Then I went and dropped my paperwork off downtown and went grocery shopping (thank you Aunty ;)).

Shopping was pretty uneventful for the most part. They didn’t have alot of the things that I went for, so it ended up being a $170 grocery shop, as opposed to the original $500 I had set out for. Ran into Alfie’s parents, first time in a year and a half that I had contact with English. They were very nice and gave me a ride home from shopping.

Alfie came over shortly after I got home. He had fixed Kenzie’s Lego Star Wars game, so Kenzie was right into that. After a very delicious lunch, and putting all the groceries away, I asked Alfie if he’d watch the kids while I took a nap. So I got about an hour and a half nap, which helped so much. I felt so exhausted before, and woke up in a pretty decent mood.

I made some dinner, and I’ve been working on blog stuff ever since. Over the next month or so, you’ll see massive changes around this Rantings and you’ll also start seeing updates on The Other Rantings. It’s being a really creative month.

We were going to these last couple days off that The Boyfriend had, but instead we’re going to do it on the next, go over to my Mom’s house. Since my guitar is broken, I’m going to use her boyfriend’s guitar and I’m going to lay down some tracks and hopefully have some of my songs up on the blog by the end of the month. I’ve been craving some play time and would love to share my stuff with everyone.

You can find some of my stuff online already, but I’d like to put all of it up and present a real quality product out of it. Most of the recordings I do have online were experimentations or goofing around, so it’s not of the best quality. And I’m a bit of a perfectionist ๐Ÿ˜‰

So Kaeidyn’s been practicing her rhyming like crazy. Her teacher hopes to have all the kids rhyming by the end of the year, though she says it’s not part of normal kindergarten curriculum. I personally love it. We’ve been reading her Dr. Seuss books almost every night, and at first she didn’t understand the concept of rhyming. She thought it meant putting things that go together. You’d say “Pig” and she’d say “Farm”, you’d say “Cat” and she’d say “Food”. Now she’s starting to do “Cup” and “Pup”, or “Cat” and “Mat”. I’m pretty proud of her for picking it up so fast.

She’s also started some games based on her speech therapy. She’s working right now on saying her “s” sounds and “sh” sounds. Prior to kindergarten, I never noticed she had any problems with either of those sounds. Once it was pointed out to me, it all became very noticeable. They’ve been working really hard with her in school, and we’ve been practicing all the time at home.

At first she was getting so annoyed sitting with Alfie or I, and saying “SHirt”, “SHape”, “SNake”, “SNare”, over and over and over again. Awhile back, The Boyfriend and I had bought a “Guess What I Am” game. The game comes with a checklist that has check boxes and little pictures. So now, she sits there with her checklist and she makes us repeat after her. When she gets it right, we say it after her. When she gets it wrong, we make her say it again. She goes “Is it shirts or shirts?”, saying it wrong the first time and saying it right the second time. Sometimes she’ll say it wrong both times and that’s when the correction comes in. It’s been working, she’s practicing every day, and she’s improving.

So that’s the Rantings of today then…

We were doing so good
We were making such strides
We had kicked the addiction
We were changing our lives

I don’t want to whine, I really don’t. The Boyfriend and I agreed to a cheat day a couple days back, and bought a pack of smokes. We had both been complaining about wanting a smoke. As I’ve said, it seems harder to not smoke now than it did for the first three weeks. Our cheat pack lasted one day…

So then the next day, we bought another pack which only lasted a day. Today was a two pack day (that were bought, we’ve smoked one so far :() And seriously, I hate it. I want to go back to the way I felt when I wasn’t smoking. I’m still just considering it cheating.

The Boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch, and I said “I think starting Saturday, I’m not buying anymore smokes”, and he goes “Really?” as if he was disappointed. All along, I had thought that he was so upset that I had given in, and that he was loving the quitting. So I say “You want to keep smoking?!?!”, ย and he goes “We’re chasing the wagon. I figure as long as we never go over a pack a day.”

It feels like crap. We were doing so very good. Those first three weeks, I was managing any possible cravings I had (put on 7″ in the process, but I blame that partially on quitting but more on breastfeeding), though it wasn’t for the smoke that I was having a craving. It was for the exhale. That’s always been my favourite part of smoking. Exhaling and watching the smoke blow out my mouth, feeling like all the problems are going with it. That, and I love the way I look exhaling ๐Ÿ˜‰ It feels very french retro.

After the first three weeks, it seemed like at least once a day, everyday, I would be seriously craving a smoke. I’d start thinking about it, then I’d start talking about it. Then I started bumming a smoke or two a day off Alfie, and then came the day of the cheat pack…

It just makes me feel really hopeless about all the other goals that I had set for myself, and made me realize how many of those goals I’ve also given up on.

  • Doing dishes everyday.
    The Boyfriend had 3 days off, and I didn’t do more than what was needed for meals every night. So 5 plates, 5 forks, and whatever cookery we used for the meal.
  • Lifting my weight everyday
    I was doing awesome. I think I did a week and a half straight. Then The Boyfriend bought me the stability ball and resistance band (and the vacuum so I could put the stability ball on the floor without fear of it popping), and I haven’t lifted weights a day since. The Boyfriend’s been doing it on and off, even doing push ups and on the days that he doesn’t lift weights, he does 25 presses with Carter whose about 13 pounds.
  • Vacuuming everyday
    I’ve vacuumed twice. Both times were delightful experiences. I just haven’t had an ounce of energy to do it. The kids were doing really good keeping their toys downstairs for about a week, and it was easy to clean the living room then. Now, they’ve started bringing everything up here, and it’s just easier to leave it than clean it!

This week has been a week of disappointments. I had so many plans for this week, and I didn’t accomplish a single one of them. Even The Boyfriend, who works graveyards, and sleeps during the day, got more done than I did.

I had planned to go grocery shopping yesterday, but then we got busy around the house and so I said I would do it today. Today rolled around, and it was cold outside, so I’ve put it off for another day. I finally buckled and called my aunt for a ride downtown to drop all my paperwork off, even though my original plan was to walk down, take a bus back. But I guess I’m too much of a diva for that or something…

I wish it was just easy to become motivated, and be less lazy. You’d think that it would ย be so simple. Just get off your butt. For some reason, for alot of reasons maybe, it just seems so hard! I feel very stumped, like I’ve hit a brick wall. I hope I figure something out, I think it’s time for another re-evaluation…

So question: Kenzie’s been out of control with the asking about games. I swear all I really heard from him today was “Can I play a game yet?”, and every single time it got whinier and whinier. At one point, I was sure that only dogs could hear the pitch he was reaching…

Saying “Wait” seemed to work for a better portion of the day. “Just wait a minute, Kenzie” and it would buy us about an hour of silence. Is it horrible to continually tell your kids to wait? It feels like it’s being mean, but “No” causes a horrendous fit, giving in means he’s on the games all day long, wait buys time in between the ever annoying question.

Well time to feed the baby…