Posts Tagged ‘Routine’

I’m so happy it’s a sunny day today. Yesterday was so cold, and the house was so cold (until we turned the oven on…), and today has the potential of being a really nice day. I might even get to kick the kids outside for a bit 😉

So Kaeidyn got her first real slumber party the other night, after we went to see some of The Boyfriend’s family, on a cold and dreary, windy day in the park. Kaeidyn calls me when we’re getting ready to go pick her up, asking if she gets to come home soon. Then when I say yes, she bursts out into tears, “But I don’t want to come home now. I want to spend another night!” She came home…

My housework is getting out of control again, and it sucks because I feel like it wasn’t that long ago that Mama T was here helping out. Laziness, procrastination and soreness throughout my body are being huge hindrances in getting anything done. I think it also has something to do with The Boyfriend being home so often. When he’s around and awake (which happens more and more), I want to spend those moments with him – or at least close to him.

It’s been nice having him around so much. Even though we’ve been going through a little bit of a rough patch, for a whole bunch of reasons (mostly very petty reasons), it’s nice seeing him alot everyday and spending time with him and most importantly sleeping next to him. The only thing that sucks about it at all is that on his days off, he pushes his sleeping limit. He’ll try to stay up for almost the entire three days off, and spends most of it exhausted because of it (and normally the first two days off).

Went to Kaeidyn’s year-end review the other day. She’s doing amazing, and is on the verge of reading, so that’s really exciting. The school wants us to get her hearing checked because she’s still leaving off the “sh” at the end of words. She seems to be okay when she’s copying a person, but in just normal conversation, she’s constantly leaving it out.

I love that I’m the type of parent I always wanted to be when it comes to her year-end reviews. I tear up when I look at her scrapbook and see how much she’s improved. I ask tons of questions when we’re at them, checking to make sure she’s doing good. I’m just hoping one of these days (probably when she’s not only going for half a day), I’ll be one of those parents who gets involved in her schooling more, involved in the school more.

Keirnan’s appointment for getting his teeth pulled is coming up. It’s surprising to me that he hasn’t had more problems with the teeth. Before we went to the dentist, it seemed like every month or two he was getting infections and needing antibiotics. This last little while has been really good. He hasn’t complained about them at all, and only now is he starting to show signs of maybe getting an infection. Luckily, it’s only a few more weeks until they will be out and not causing him a problem.

Carter, my dear, sweet Carter. He has been motoring everywhere. We can’t look away from him for longer than a second before he’s half way across the room. He’s decided he likes to sit at the top of the stairs and yell down them (it echoes quite nicely), so we are often chasing him back to the living room. I don’t understand why we don’t use the safety gate more, other than the fact that I still haven’t even tried to learn how to use it.

Kenzie has been loud, really loud. And constantly hyper. He seems to have energy seeping from every pore in his body and can more often than not be found running about the house, screaming something. Followed, of course, by everyone else in the house going, “Quiet down, Kenzie!”, to which Keirnan normally responds, “No”, his new favorite word.

My body has been giving me all sorts of problems lately. I went for my pelvic ultrasound, and they said everything looked normal and the best they could figure is that it’s the depo causing it. My doctor wants me to start taking the shots every two months instead of every three. I don’t want to go off the depo though, this is the longest I’ve ever been on birth control without missing a day or forgetting to take my pills for a week or two. Even though there’s all these other things that I hate about it, at least it’s keeping me from getting pregnant. I just want to stop bleeding.

My entire body has been filled with pain these last couple of days. From things feeling like their swelling, to joints being stiff, and cramping all up and down my back, my pain is seriously exhausting. My knees and ankles have been really bad these past couple of days. I hate that I’m still so young, but feel so old. I even walk like an old lady.

I’ve been thinking about starting a serious workout regime, especially being that since I haven’t gotten to sleep in past ten in a really long time, it’s been easier and easier for me to wake up early. This morning, I was awake before the kids! I just want to get rid of my baby pooch (which looks like I’m 3 months pregnant on bad days!), and feel comfortable in this skin, because lately, I really really don’t. The only problem (along with almost all the problems in my life) is that I have absolutely no routine of the day. Or at least a very crappy routine.

The Boyfriend and I have been talking about getting some sort of routine in place. Especially where finances are concerned. I hate that we sit around talking about all this stuff, and then never do it. We need to become the kind of people who get up off our butts and just do things. Not the impulsive things we do. I mean, when we say we’re going to create a budget and stick to it, we need to become the type of people who will. Or when we say we’re gonna start working out, that we do.

Well, I think now I’m going to go browse through my local paper and see what jobs I might be able to apply online to (since I haven’t heard back from any of the previous places I applied at). I’m still not taking it very seriously, as I still have another 5 months of maternity leave left. But man, am I desperate to get out of the house more!

Yesterday, Alfie took the kids overnight. The Boyfriend had to work last night, so I stayed up as late as I could so that I could sleep in with him in the morning. We slept until almost 3 PM, and it was such a good sleep. The only thing that sucked about my sleep at all, was around 9 AM, Goober showed up and starting tapping on the door. He hung out around the outside of the house until we woke up at 3.

At about 4:30, we picked up the kids. They were so good tonight. Kenzie fell asleep on the couch, played about 20 minutes of games before bed, and then went to bed with ease. Kaeidyn was really good and all she really cared about was that we were both wearing pants underneath our dresses and that I cleaned her ears.

I was trying to get Keirnan to copy me saying everyone’s name. He is so lazy about it. Kaeidyn is “aiyan”, Kenzie is “ehzie”, Carter is “cah”. He’s been trying to copy everybody with talking, and it just doesn’t seem to be working out for him at all.

Carter slept with us all day, waking up a couple times and just playing in between The Boyfriend and I. Then when we got out of bed, he was in such an incredible mood. Laughing and talking. The Boyfriend thinks he’s starting to say Mama, and claims that everytime I leave, Carter will start whining “mamamamama, mamamamama”. It’s so cute.

None of the other kids seemed to really notice when I was gone. They preferred to be with Mama T or Alfie. So it’s nice to have that change. It’s a good thing The Boyfriend and I are planning on having at least one more kid (a girl) sometime down the road, that way he can experience the whole Daddy’s baby thing.

The Boyfriend is beginning to seriously despise his job, and almost every single day, there’s a comment about going down to part time or looking for another job altogether. I feel bad for him, and I generally just feel bad. It’s not that he hates the job at all, it’s that he hates the time of the job. He hates that it takes him away from Carter and me and the kids, because when he’s not working, he’s sleeping so that he’s not tired for work.

I keep trying to tell him that to me, it’s not that big of a deal. The only times it bothers me is when I’m incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed, or when he sleeps most of his days off. I still think the biggest solver to the problem, would be some sort of routine. But we’ve had no luck creating, or sticking to, any of our big plans that we had at the beginning of this year.

The other day, The Boyfriend and I, for the first time in our lives, purchased stuff online. So around the 15th, we should be getting Mario Party 8 for the Wii! Plus two more things that you can read about on The XXX Rated Rantings. We’re super excited. Too bad I can’t drink yet, because Mario Party games make for fun drinking games 😉

I think starting next month (April WOO! It means it’s closer to summer!), I’m gonna start NaBloPoMo again. I hate that I post so little now. I think maybe it’d be fun to do NaBloPoMo on both the PG Rantings and The XXX Rated Rantings. I totally think I could manage it, so maybe that’s what I’ll do for April.

We definitely didn’t do as much cleaning as I hoped we would’ve during The Boyfriend’s holiday. So I’m really really hoping (and planning) that this week will be incredibly productive, and I’ll get a few things crossed off of my ever-growing checklist. Three big goals are the kitchen, the bathroom and my room. Wish me luck 😉

I’ve also been slacking massively on my workouts, so I think this week, the goal is to pick it back up and start working out again. Hopefully I’ll be able to stick to it.

I seriously think my brother comes over to my house, just to piss me off. For the last three days, everytime he comes over here, he ends up getting kicked out. And half the time he ignores me until I start getting really angry.

He sits there staring at everybody, and Kaeidyn gets right mad at him for that. And then he talks to himself constantly. He’ll laugh out of nowhere, and it’s extremely annoying. Kaeidyn gets so mad at him and tells him to stop talking to himself. He gets told a thousand times to go back to Mama T’s house if he’s gonna act like that around here.

Everyday, it’s the same thing with him. He comes over here and spends the first hour staring at everyone, and being told to stop staring. So then he’ll stop, and then he starts talking to himself. I never go more than the fifth time of telling him to stop before I kick him out.

I wish that he would go get help so bad. Firstly, because I know he’s suffering. But mostly, it’s because I don’t want this burden anymore. I’m sick of him getting dumped on me, and then being too stubborn to admit anything’s wrong long enough to go get some decent help. Instead, he’s gonna stay in this state, and I’m getting to that point of wanting to tell him he’s not welcome here anymore. I don’t want someone around me, who so obviously has issues, and isn’t willing to do anything at all about it.

I’ve been having a couple super lazy days these last two or three days. I literally get up and find Kaeidyn’s clothes, and then fall asleep on the couch until it’s time to go pick her up. I’ve been completely exhausted, and I don’t even understand how. It’s not like I’ve been doing that much really. Working online alot, but other than that, dishes… But for some reason, I am always tired and always wanting to sleep.

The kids have all been doing really good. Kenzie’s started to get bored of playing games by himself all day. Good thing is, he’s playing alot less. Bad thing is, he’s constantly trying to talk people into playing games with him. Keirnan is still as much of a brat as he ever was. Getting into things all the time, the dishes is still his biggest one. At least three times a day, we’re kicking him out of the kitchen. He’s trying so hard to start talking, and so far, it’s not really working out for him.

Kaeidyn is going to get her ears pierced tomorrow (or at least that’s the plan so far!). I wanted to get them pierced when she was just a baby, but almost everyone else was against that, and it cost more when she was younger. Alfie and I are taking her to pick up her earrings tomorrow, and she’s super excited about it.

Carter and The Boyfriend have both been doing good. Carter’s been mostly happy, and wants to be moving so much more than he is. We have to watch him like hawks anywhere we put him now, because he motors so fast. He’s decided he likes falling off of the end of the couch, into a pile of clothes that sits there. He’s also been eating alot. He’s been showing signs of wanting to eat solids, but everytime we try it, he ends up throwing most of it up. He likes gravy alot though!

I need to do some serious cleaning around the house. When I was younger, you would’ve never guessed I could ever be the type of person who lets my house get the way it looks today (and this isn’t even the worst it’s been). I was a relatively tidy person and liked things to have their own place. I used to love cleaning the bathroom, and organizing papers and cupboards and junk. You’d never know it today…

I need to figure out a way to create some sort of routine or schedule that I can stick to. I need alot more structure, but not so much more structure that I can’t still be a flexible parent and girlfriend. Like I wish I had set laundry days, and a certain time dinner had to be ready, and a specific day that the bathroom gets cleaned. Because right now, with the “I’ll do it when I have the energy” routine, is not working. Leaving clothes in laundry baskets constantly, and then not knowing where any socks for Kaeidyn at school are, is getting tired now.

The Boyfriend is getting better for helping out a little bit more, but I don’t know exactly how long that will last. He’s been taking the garbage out everyday, he starts cleaning alot of things (and that’s good enough for me, because then all I have to do is finish), and he’s been helping me with the laundry.

You know, ultimately what I need is a single level house, with more of an open plan. Well no, ideally what I need is cleaning people. But until that becomes possible, I just need a house with no stairs. That makes cleaning alot more difficult for me. My knees start aching just from going up and down to go to the bathroom. Imagine if I were going up and down with loads of laundry, piles of toys and other junk. Then my house feels crowded, constantly (because it is!), and that makes cleaning that much more difficult.

I wish I still had those urges like I did when I was at the height of my depression, where all of a sudden, after weeks of having no energy at all, I’d have this huge spurt and decide to go on a cleaning binge. I wish I felt motivated to just do that once around here. Get it super clean, and then try really hard to keep it that way.

Urgh, so many things that I want to do and so not enough energy or time or money…

It’s a Tuesday, so that means it’s The Boyfriend’s first day off. Every single week, since almost the start of our relationship, I’ve told him to sleep on his first day in the morning, so that at night we can be awake together and having a good time after the kids have gone to bed. And every week, almost since the start of our relationship, he says he can handle staying awake all day, “I’ll just drink alot of coffee”, or today, it was “I bought myself a pack of energy drinks and munchies. If I get tired, I’ll just down an energy drink!” He gives me these lines every single week, and every single time I tell him he’ll be asleep by the time the kids are in bed.

Do I know my man, or do I know my man? I can’t even be truly mad at him. It’s this rule that I’ve created for myself. When I was with Alfie, I was constantly whining that because of “this and this” job, I wasn’t getting to see him enough and I missed him. That was a huge mistake. Of course, Alfie took that as, “Miss work today, and then start hating your job and quit it a week later”!

So when I got with The Boyfriend, and he had been working the same job for almost 2 years, and he absolutely loved it, I vowed that no matter how much I hated the time his job took him away from me, it was better to only let him know in small doses and not to the point where he felt guilty for “ditching” me.

I’m reminded almost everyday by Alfie, how much more of a b-with-an-itch I was to him than I am to The Boyfriend. With Alfie, I lived alot in the past. With The Boyfriend, I avoid it. With Alfie, I always had specific instructions for mundane tasks, such as, “Fill up my drink, but can you clean out my glass first?”, even if it was a glass that had only had one drink out of it, but because the kids had finished it off, I just wanted to be sure there was no food there. The Boyfriend on the other hand, has given me glasses of pop that had floaties in it and I just picked them all out.

I do alot of things as differently as I possibly can in The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, than I did with Alfie and I’s relationship. And I’ve grinned through alot of things that, in the past, I would’ve thrown a mini temper tantrum over. I’ve been conducting life in this way for almost a year and a half, and even though you’d think it would piss me off to no end, instead it has somehow made me happier. In a way.

Today’s one of those days when it’s really hard to just grin and bear it. Instead I feel like screaming, “Like seriously, just once could you go to sleep during the day when I’m on the computer all day, and then wake up at night and spend some time with me!!!” And then tomorrow, he’ll sleep in in the morning, and he’ll be up all night and I’ll be exhausted in the worst kind of way and want to go to bed right after the kids do. It’s our perpetual weekly cycle. Have I told you lately that I hate The Boyfriend’s job?!?!?

So tonight was the premiere of American Idol (Season 9!!!). I normally only watch the audition episodes and the Top 3 down to the Finale. You know what I hate about American Idol season, alot of my family watch the show and every year I get the “You should try out for Canadian Idol” thing, so then I seriously think about doing it and every year chicken out. I blame it all on the talent show fiasco. Anywho…

It’s hard to believe that American Idol is still entertaining. I mean I hate alot of things about the show now in comparison to the older shows. I was a Paula Abdul fan (and have been since I heard “Cold Hearted Snake” in my youth), it was still funny to hear Randy call everyone “Dawg” and on almost every occasion, I was right on board with Simon’s quick and witty opinions. Definetely not the same degree of meanness, I have more of a peaceful and calm type opinion.

But more than once tonight, while being angry that The Boyfriend was passing out on the couch (and then waking up randomly every few minutes to apologize – there’s nothing worse than that!), I was caught snickering as the judges squashed contestants dreams as if the dream was a pesky little roach.

A good lesson that we’ve all been being told for years, but that American Idol really makes apparent, is that first impressions are key. Especially in a 35 second audition!!! You want to be memorable, but not THAT memorable.

SO… can you believe I’ve been blogging for almost 2 weeks straight?!?!? Only 2 more to go! And then another 11 months after that to complete my ultimate blogging goal. Though I was saddened on Sunday night, and not a single person signed up for the Mailing List and so I had no one to send a newsletter to. Luckily, for me and everyone else, you can SUBSCRIBE to the Mailing List at anytime, and you’ll receive your update the next Sunday.

I’ve been working really hard this week on goal setting. I’ve barely worked at all on the actual goals, but I’ve been writing everything down, working out the first steps. Alot of my goals can’t have steps following through to completion because alot of the goals really depend on a variety of different factors that may or may not change over the course of the next year or so. After I’m done getting them all organized, they will be viewable on the blog. Like I’ve been saying almost all week, I am working really hard getting the blog stuff done.

Another thought that I had, I need a job. We all know I’ve been talking about creating all these routines in our family. For example, I want to be doing two loads of dishes and laundry a day, or I want a set bedtime and wake up time everyday, I want to workout at the same time everyday, all these things need a sort of routine. I don’t have any type of routine and I haven’t had any type of routine in many years. I’m kind of like a fish out of water when it comes to routines.

I was watching a commercial today, about this woman rushing around taking care of her kids, going to work, doing the grocery shopping, being an all around super woman. I would love to feel that sense of urgency, or even have a reason to get up and go outside more than once a month.

I’d like for there to be more of a reason than “Because I want to”, for me to create a routine and stick to it. “Because I want to” isn’t very strong motivation. And I can’t say that I NEED a routine, because in reality, my life is just fine the way that it is right now. I just think I could make it better. But it’s not a necessity, it’s a desire.

I’m very motivated to do things that are necessary. That if I don’t do, could negatively affect me and my kids and the people I love most. I’m not as motivated to do things that are desires or dreams. I’m not as motivated to do the things that I’m the only one that dreams or desires them either. Oh well, I need to be patient about going back to work. It’s still way too early. Next year, we’ll start looking into school again…

Well I think I’m off to sleep. How do you stay motivated to complete your goals, even without support from a group of people?