Posts Tagged ‘Pregnant’

Yesterday, Kaeidyn missed school because of the sudden onset of a cold (probably from running around outside without her jacket on…). Then, Keirnan had a dentist appointment. It’s going to be four months until we can get him in for his teeth. Now, not only will he need to get the top four teeth pulled, he’ll also be getting a cap in an upper back tooth, and a filling on each side on the bottom! It’s also going to cost me almost $200 more than it would’ve if I got it done last year when we had it scheduled for. Darn his runny nose then.

We have been trying Carter on formula constantly these last couple of days. He’s refusing to take it at all. The second you stick the bottle in his mouth, he starts wailing. He won’t take his rice cereal either. The only type of solid food we’ve been able to get him to eat so far is mashed potatoes. The other day we went up to The Boyfriend’s sister’s place for one of her kids’ birthday parties, had a delicious turkey dinner (my all time favourite holiday meal!), and Carter mowed down on mashed potatoes and gravy. But formula and rice cereal, he hates…

I’ve been in an incredible amount of pain these last couple of days, hence the lack of writing. I’m not sure if it’s the way I’m sleeping, or the fact that I’ve been pretty lazy this last little while, but I feel weak and all my muscles are sore and tired. Yesterday, I was spread out on the couch all day, trying to find a comfortable position for my spasming back.

I went to get my depo shot too yesterday (finally!), and the nurse asks, “When was your last period?”, and I say, “Well, I’ve kind of mostly been bleeding since I had Carter, maybe a week in total of not bleeding.”, so she says, “Well, how old is Carter?”, I say, “About 5 months.” So now, I have to make yet another doctor’s appointment and see if I can’t get my hormone levels tested. I considered picking up a pregnancy test the other day, but fear consumed me while we were looking through the isle.

I don’t think I’m pregnant again, if that’s what everyone’s thinking. I mean, there’s an extremely slim possibility, as there is with any girl using birth control as her only form of protection. But I’m pretty positive it’s not pregnant, but I definetely think something might be up. Maybe it’s just a reaction to the depo or because I’m still recovering from pregnancy, but I think something’s not right, because I feel too crappy for everything to be fine.

Mama T finally gets back from B.C. today. So tomorrow, I’ll finally get to go see Goober. Mama T originally asked that I didn’t go see Goober, because he’s convinced when I go out there, he gets to come home. And it most likely wouldn’t be like that. So Mama T was sure that it would upset him. I wasn’t originally gonna listen to Mama T, but when I asked Goober’s social worker about it, he agreed with Mama T. I’ve talked to Goober everyday since he’s been in there, and all he can talk about is wanting to come home. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really have a home to come home to.

He can’t come and live with me, for a variety of reasons. The most prominent two being I don’t have the room for him, and until he’s healthy, he upsets the kids too much. It’s pretty bad when my three-year-old says, “Uncle, stop staring at me.”, or “Uncle, stop talking to yourself.” And Mama T has pretty much said no, because it wasn’t really working out him being over there.

Our greatest hope is that he’ll actually get help. He’s already talking about stopping taking his meds once he gets out, and not seeing a psychiatrist, because he’s really convinced that there’s nothing wrong with him. I think that’s what’s making his doctor’s and social worker most worried. I hope he doesn’t come home, still sick….

Other than that, life around here has been pretty boring the last couple of days. Oh yeah, did I tell you, the kids broke my camera? So here I was all excited about being able to take new pictures since I finally found my camera, and then nope, it’s broken… Oh well, goes on our list of things to buy.

Today has been a day to say the least, and I almost gave The  Boyfriend a heart attack, which is either kind of funny, or really sad 😉

So this morning, The Boyfriend brought home a new entertainment stand that we’ve been eyeing for about a month now. He stayed up almost all day getting it set up, and boy does it look pretty. The good thing about it, is it’s going to clear up the 3 small movie shelves we’ve got, and the TV no longer sits on an un-sturdy, old casino table that I got almost 5 years ago from Wal-Mart.

After he was all done building the thing, I asked if we could go to Wal-Mart to pick up formula for Carter. He’s showing alot of interest in solids, but the second he’s given them, he just spits it all out. The only thing he seems to enjoy at all is mashed potatoes, but I don’t want to give him too much of that. I’ve never had to go through the “transition”. The only kid other than Carter that I got to breastfeed for any length of time was Kenzie, and he was so hungry that it didn’t matter what it tasted like.

He doesn’t like the formula, at all! He chews on the nipple and the second the formula gets in his mouth, he makes a face then starts wailing. He’ll hold the formula that is in his mouth in there, until he starts making a choking type noise and then swallows. Then when you try to put the  bottle back in his mouth, he just shakes his head back and forth. So I’m gonna keep trying, and then I’ll breastfeed him. As long as he’s getting a little bit, it’s more than what he’s getting from me.

So we ended up replacing the office chair that we’ve had at the computer desk, because the screws were starting to tear through the padding (so the chair became extremely uncomfortable to sit on). I built the chair with the kids, and it’s so comfy. It’ll be perfect for the kids on the computer too, because it lifts up and down.

It was nice to be able to get to spend some time alone with The Boyfriend today. My cousin came by and watched all the kids (by herself!), so we could run to Wal-Mart. I got more make-up stuff, and now my make-up kit is almost full. Just need some liquid eyeliner and once I get my eyebrows shaped and learn how, an eyebrow pencil and I’ve got everything I want/need. We finally got Star Trek (the newer movie), which we’ve been talking about getting since it came out.

Kaeidyn’s got a birthday party tomorrow, and she insisted we get her friend Barbies. So we got some cheap princess barbie dolls, and a little princess set with shoes for her. Kaeidyn gets to go bowling for the first time ever tomorrow. It should be very interesting.

So you’re probably curious how I gave The Boyfriend a heart attack earlier today, eh? I teased that I thought I was pregnant again. These last couple of days, I seem to be pretty emotional. Which, prior to The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, wouldn’t be cause for concern. That’s pretty much how you could’ve described me, without being mean. Since being with The Boyfriend, it’s taken alot to make me cry, unless I’m pregnant (which has only happened once, so it’s not like there’s alot of evidence behind it ;))

A couple days back, when Goober first landed in the hospital, they wouldn’t let me talk to him, wouldn’t even tell me he was there. So I called his ER doctor (after hours), and tried my hardest to keep it together, but I was pretty upset. So by the end of the message I left, I was sobbing like a little girl. So much so, that when the secretary returned the message, she left the number and said “It sounds like you were a little upset, and I had problems understanding everything you said, so please return our call at…”

Then today, I had to pay back an old buddy of mine, who I know through Alfie. I’ve known him for many many years, and I’ve seen him treat previous girlfriends pretty crappily, and they normally treat him the same. Today, I saw something that not only brought back a thousand memories, but that cut me to the bone!

I’m sitting on his couch, and his girlfriend comes out of their room. She goes to the fridge and grabs a beer. Puts it down on the coffee table and asks for a lighter so she can go out for a smoke. All of a sudden, my (ex) buddy starts yelling at her that she’s stupid and retarded and when she’s outside having her smoke she might as well just jump off the balcony. My jaw dropped open and my eyes welled up.

I walked out of the building and immediately burst in to tears. And it kept running through my head that that was the most terrible and uncomfortable thing I had ever been through. Then I remembered that, that used to be my life. The only difference is, unlike the girlfriend, I would’ve walked up and slapped him in the face and then I would’ve ran like hell, trying to avoid the return hit.

I came home and told The Boyfriend and I just kept saying that I felt so bad for this girl. And he kept looking at me, his eyebrow cocked like he always does. Realizing what he was getting at, I just said, “I can’t believe I went through alot of the same stuff for almost six years!”, and then I just kept saying it.

See, while Alfie and I fought, pretty much all the time and while Alfie was a prick to me (in a way, not buddies way…), he never once called me stupid or retarded in front of his friends. He never once told me to kill or hurt myself, instead he saved me from hurting myself twice – even if one of those times was purely out of annoyance.

Before The Boyfriend, I didn’t mind fighting at all. I used to start arguments with people, just for the sake of starting an argument.  After spending the last year and a half, with virtually no arguing whatsoever, it just completely overwhelmed me. And that’s how the worst parts of the crap that I went through started, and right before my eyes flashed this poor girl’s future, if she chose to stay with buddy.

It starts with arguing, then it turns into name calling and put downs, and then it escalates into physical harm. Hands, stairwells and keyboards have all taught me that. And it just gets such control over you. Logically, in my head, I knew way before it got physical that I should leave. Do you think I could?

Do you think once it got physical, I left? Nope. And it almost sickens me to think that I used to almost egg it on, and after Alfie and I split ways and that physicalness was gone (a few months after we split ways), I almost missed it and craved it.

The upside to the whole situation, if there even is one, is that it really made me aware of how wonderful The Boyfriend is. More than once, I’ve given him good reason to yell and scream at me – and I mean that literally. And somehow, he has been able to calm himself to the point where we can just talk about it. Even though a few times, he’s kind of hit below the belt (without meaning to) verbally, we talk. We don’t yell, we don’t hit, we don’t call each other names.

I came home from buddies place, and wrapped my arms so tight around The Boyfriend just kissing and hugging him. I am honestly so lucky to have him. Even though some of the shit he does ticks me off sometimes, I wouldn’t trade him for all the world. The whole experience just made me appreciate my relationship so much more, so much more.

Well, I have some other adult-type writing to do now. So, I hope your night finds you in good health and great comfort.

This morning, I woke up and got ready to take Kaeidyn to school.  I had completely forgotten that it was St. Patrick’s Day and that she was supposed to wear green to school today. Fortunately, I had made her wear her camo pants today (which she claims are boy pants, but I don’t care, because she looks adorable in them ;)), which had green in them.

So then I walk her into her classroom, like I do every Wednesday (the only day of the week that I’m in charge of taking her to and from school), and all the shoes on the indoor shoe shelf have all been moved to different spots, which just confused the heck out of her. Then she walked further into her class.

Well apparently, a leprechaun came into the room and trashed it. Markers were flung across the room, chairs at the tables were flipped upside down. This, of course, made Kaeidyn incredibly excited. For the rest of the day, when anything moved from one position to another, it was because of the leprechaun.

It was a gorgeous day here today. Warm enough that I comfortably went outside with a sweater, which is saying alot, being that I’m normally the one whose always cold, even when everyone else is complaining they’re hot. I’ve been going through summer withdrawal mighty hard after the awesome summer we had last year, so immediately I had an urge to go for a walk.

For the first time, in what’s felt like forever, Kaeidyn, Kenzie, Keirnan, Carter, The Boyfriend and I all went to the part. It’s been along time since we’ve been able to leave the house, all at one time, all together (Man, I hope we get a bigger vehicle really soon!). We all went over to Kaeidyn’s school to play at the park, which we’ve been promising her we were going to do forever.

We didn’t stay too long, because the wind picked up about 15 minutes after we left the house, and Carter was only in the Snugli, so it was pretty chilly for him after awhile. I was surprised at how easily all the kids were to get off the park. I told them, “One more time down the slide”, so they each took their turn, and we walked home.

Kaeidyn noticed a messy yard, and tried convincing us all the way home that it was the leprechauns. Then when we got home, the kids got to play outside for quite awhile. Keirnan was the first to come in, complaining of cold hands. I guess that’s what he gets for  playing in the puddles. Kenzie was the next one in. I think he just wanted to take his pants off.

We had him doing so good, wearing underwear or pants. Now though, it’s almost impossible. He’s also constantly grabbing at himself, like it’s a newly discovered toy. I don’t want to scare him away from touching himself, so we tell him to go downstairs to his bedroom or the bathroom to play with himself, because that’s just what you do. He’ll normally get upset when he’s told this, and I’m not sure why.

Kaeidyn stayed outside the longest, because she’s met a couple kids on the street that she likes. I’m personally, not fond of many of the kids on our street. We had the cops come to talk to all the kids that were out on the street, not paying attention to oncoming cars. Today, some little kid was swinging a stick around in the middle of the street trying to smash snow piles, and a van came up behind him and was waiting forever, even after honking, for him to move out of the street. And a bunch of the kids are like that.

I’ve had the kids from this street dig holes in my yard, draw on my house, and throw pine cones at the car. And frankly, I’m getting quite sick of it. The good thing though, is that my kids know to stay in the yard. They get one warning after stepping one foot off the sidewalk in front of the house.

Keirnan was talking up a storm today on our walk, asking questions, telling us what he was doing. He saw a school bus and started yelling out bus clear as day. As a mom, I’m always wanting my kids to grow up and become independent. With Keirnan, I’m always like, “I wish he would hurry up and talk already”, with Carter, “I can’t wait until he starts crawling”. Kaeidyn is was walking and Kenzie it was talking to (because he had the annoying “eh, eh” thing that Keirnan’s just starting to get out of). Then it happens, and I’m all like, “Oh, my babies are growing up so fast. Why can’t they just be babies again?” I guess it’s just another one of those vicious circles.

I’ve spent the last two days pretty much curled up on the couch watching TV, because I’ve been in an incredible amount of pain. The pharmacist warned me that the pills I’m on could cause me to have some stomach upset. The last two days, all my stomach upset has been right underneath of my ribs, much like the pain I had when I passed gallstones (or at least, that’s the best the doctor’s could figure), just much milder. Then, to top that all off, my knees, back and neck are all hurting as bad as they did when I was pregnant with Carter. I wanna blame it on the meds…

Well, Carter’s awake, so I better go and feed him. I think I caught up on everything I had planned to 😉

I was looking through pictures (all sorts of pictures) last night, and I came to a few realizations about a variety of things.

1. All my kids have grown SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO much…

Past Present

Kaeidyn, 1 1/2 years old

Kaeidyn, 5 years old

Kenzie, 2 or 3 mths

Kenzie, 3 1/2 years old

Keirnan, 1 day old

Keirnan, 2 years old

Carter, 1 day old

Carter, 3 mths old


2. I looked hella rough after Carter was born…

Right After Labour

3 days later...

3. I seriously need to do something about my eyebrows…

Hardly see em...

4. I can’t wait to get my pre-baby body back…

Pre-Baby

Lil Bit Pregnant

Really Pregnant...

Post Baby Body

So, yesterday I was looking around on Amazon.com (which I’ve decided I don’t like as much as I did originally, because they don’t do PayPal – and I don’t have a credit card…), and started checking out the Wii. I’ve been wanting one since it came out, and I played a game of tennis (and kicked some serious butt!).

The Boyfriend and I are either bad or good (depends on how you look at it) at sort of pre-planning our bigger purchases. Though it’s not like this great plan, we’ve just kind of made a list of what gets purchased first and next and so on and so forth. It’s just a list, without any real plan whatsoever. For instance:

  1. Buy a Vacuum
    We did this. It was the number 1 thing we needed.
  2. Buy a Wii (with WiiFit Plus)
    Want it so bad, it’s our next big purchase
  3. Buy a Car
    The plan is to do this with a Profit Sharing check. YAY for Wal-Mart!
  4. Get a new deep freezer
    This is The Boyfriend’s desire, not mine. We have a perfectly good deep freeze, except for the fact that almost an entire months worth of food went bad, because it was unknowingly unplugged. So he just wants to get a new, tinier one.
  5. A new guitar for me…
    My old one, the one The Boyfriend bought me when we were first together for my birthday, my muse, is broken and I can’t fix it. So we’ve agreed, I eventually get a new one.
  6. 32″ Flat Screen TV
    Another one of The Boyfriend’s desires.  For some reason, one that I don’t quite understand, he wants a TV in our room. We’re almost never in our room for any length of time, let alone any time that it would be worth it to put a TV down there. But he’s been obsessed with the idea over the last couple of days.
  7. A Cell Phone
    When we first started dating, The Boyfriend went out and bought us both cellphones. I was going to his house alot and leaving Alfie at my house with the kids alot. He never had a land line, back then Alfie hated calling his phone, so he solved the problem by buying me my own cell phone.

    Well one day, I opened up my cellphone and the screen was just blank. And it stayed that way. I didn’t get it fixed, because it turned out I didn’t really need a cellphone. No one ever called me on it… Now I don’t know where my cellphone and he has no real use for a cellphone.  But we’ve discovered that when we go shopping or whatever, it would be great if we had a cellphone.

    There’s been times where Alfie’s had to send Mama T to pick Kaeidyn up from school, because The Boyfriend and I have been rushing back from grocery shopping and couldn’t call in time to let him know to get all the kids ready to go pick her up. Luckily he’s a generally smart guy, and figured out to call my Mom (even though it was only 10 minutes before Kaeidyn got off school).

  8. A new computer
    We keep saying we need to buy a new computer for The Boyfriend to run his games on, like World of Warcraft and Pirates of the Burning Sea. And I want a laptop for all the writing that I want to be doing, and all the research that I end up doing…

This stuff will probably take us a few years to acquire. As long as we have a Wii by summer (because I want to get my pre-baby body back, and I think that a Wii Fit will keep me motivated and I’ll want to do it because I love me some video games – I enjoy trying to beat everyone’s high score, it would be great competition for The Boyfriend and I. Muwhahahahahaha), and a car by next winter (profit sharing should be next month, so with any luck, it’ll be as soon as next month!), because eventually Alfie’s gonna get a job and not be able to walk Kaeidyn to school every morning, and then I’ll have to suffer through the freezing cold winters.

Kaeidyn has a full day of school today, which meant we had to send a lunch to school with her. Should be easy, right? Wrong. First, I don’t get paid until tomorrow, and I don’t touch The Boyfriend’s money without asking him first. And he’s sleeping, and I don’t even know if he has any money (I’m very determined to keep my financial independence and not force him to pick up Alfie’s slack), and I’m not gonna wake him up to ask. But anywho…

So then I find out yesterday, that I’m out of sandwich bags. Then to make matters worse, the last piece of bread got finished off late last night, and the english muffins went moldy. So all the things I needed for Kaeidyn to take for lunch, we didn’t have. For once, Alfie was useful in this department, and he had everything I didn’t, so lunch has been saved. But man was I ever stressing about it all morning. I even woke up early because of it!

Still have tons of cleaning to get done today. I’m probably gonna start that relatively soon. Hopefully I’ll actually get the revised edition of my to-do list done. And then tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I have to walk downtown, then bus it back up to the North Side (haven’t been on a bus in almost 2 years), then I’ve got to do grocery shopping most likely solo, and then I’ve got to pile $500 worth of groceries (which doesn’t sound like alot, but somehow just around that – give or take a few dollars – feeds us for an entire month!) into a cab and then bring it all in the house as quickly as possible. Not looking forward to tomorrow… Oh well, what can you do?