Posts Tagged ‘Make Up’

So again, I failed NaBloPoMo. A whole three days into it, and at first it wasn’t completely my fault. My timezone in WordPress wasn’t right, so when I posted at 11 something one night, it didn’t show up until after midnight. I’ve fixed the timezone issue.

Then I’ve had two days of complete and utter soreness, and the last thing I’ve wanted to do is sit in front of the computer. It’s absolutely horrible. I haven’t done anything really except for sitting on the couch. My entire body feels swollen (even though it’s not), and every bone feels brittle and like it’s on the verge of breaking. I feel weak and heavy and fragile… This kind of soreness isn’t that bad when it’s isolated to one area, but when it expands to your entire body, it’s intense and ridiculous. I’m completely sick of it.

I had written up a post a couple days ago of the exact same title (those of you following me on Twitter, might have followed a blank link…), and for some reason after I published it, the entire post disappeared. I wasn’t in the mood to write it up again then, so here’s my attempt…

The kids are all doing pretty wonderfully. Finally went for a nap today (after almost an entire week of planning everyday for a nap). Today was one of those days when a nap seemed completely out of the question, but somehow we managed to squeeze one in and it was wonderful. The best three hours I’ve had in awhile. The kids, even though they claimed they weren’t tired and instead wanted to just sit quietly in their room, actually fell asleep before I even tucked Carter and I in.

This morning, Alfie’s Mom and Step-Dad came and picked the kids up and took them shopping. They hadn’t seem them since Christmas, so it was a nice thing for them and they were so excited. Keirnan got the world’s most annoying bunny toy. You push a button, the bunny pops up and the thing (as loud as it can) goes, “Boing, Boing”. Kaeidyn got new earrings, so now she’s got five different pairs to pick from. So far, she’s liking the blue flowers The Boyfriend got her best. Kenzie got a Ben 10 game for the Wii, the first thing he did when he got home was play it, and now he’s been asking ever since.

That’s two days in a row that The Boyfriend and I have gotten a big chunk of time away from the older kids. Yesterday we had to go pick up a barbecue, because we’re both getting sick of not being able to cook anything thanks to the stupid load limiter. So Kenzie and Keirnan stayed with Alfie, and Kaeidyn and Carter went over to Mama T’s. The Boyfriend and I went shopping and it was beautiful.

Even though we were in the loudness of our local Wal-Mart, it was so nice and quiet. I seriously never realized how easy it is to take silence for granted. Because now, when it does happen, it is seriously the most comforting and relaxing thing I’ve ever experienced. And when I don’t have it, I wish that I did…

It was nice to finally get away from Carter for longer than five or ten minutes. He’s been such a mama suck lately, and of course, I’ve been letting him. So I imagine it’s going to get worse. None of the other kids were like this at all. I could leave them and they hardly noticed. They didn’t like to be held or cuddled that much, and when they did, it was normally by someone else. So I’ve never experienced this whole, “I want my Mommy all the time” thing. It’s truly extremely exhausting.

Waking up to Carter lately has been the most fun and annoying thing in the world. He’s gotten where he likes to pull himself up on everything. And I mean absolutely anything. Most days, I’ll wake up to him trying to stand by using my face as his support, and then him sucking on my hair. I think he’s seriously going to be walking before he’s sitting. He pulls himself up on the ottoman, he pulls himself up on the couch, the arm of the couch, legs. He loves to be standing. Though, do you think we could get him to sit by himself? Not a chance…

Keirnan is working really hard on picking up this whole talking thing. At least once a day, Kaeidyn starts saying words and will make him repeat after her. I’ve been trying the same thing. I can make out what he’s saying almost everytime he talks, but I think that’s just because I’m his Mom and not because he’s actually making any sense, because I seem to be the only one picking it up. He seems to only say the starting syllable in a word, and sentence structure is beyond him at this point.

Kaeidyn has been doing nothing but bugging me to put on make-up. Even after she’s just put some on, she’s asking to put more on. She’s still wearing make-up from before we went out yesterday, and the make-up that she put on at Mama T’s (she did both their make-up, and has been going off all day asking if Grandma’s called yet to get her hair fixed!), and she’s still asking if she can have some on. She’s been rhyming up a storm these last couple of days too. Mostly with made up words, but rhyming nonetheless.

Kenzie hasn’t been doing too much besides wanting to play his games.  The good thing about the whole game playing thing, is he almost never wants to play alone anymore. He’s always asking people to play games with him. At Kaeidyn’s parent/teacher conference, since she’s in speech therapy, the teacher offered us an application to The Bright Beginnings program, which is a pre-kindergarten program for kids with special needs. She figured since Kaeidyn had speech problems, Kenzie might too.

I was going through the application the other day and I don’t think Kenzie qualifies at all. He already talks better than Kaeidyn, in his own right. Kaeidyn seems to understand bigger concepts than he does, but Kenzie puts the ‘s’ where it’s supposed to be in words. I was sitting on the couch reading with them the other day, which doesn’t happen nearly as often as I would like, and Kenzie seemed to understand his colors really well and his numbers too. So I don’t think I’ll be trying to get him into The Bright Beginnings Program, maybe Keirnan when he turns three or four though.

I’ve been craving a different look for my dull, plain and ridiculously shapeless hair. So when we went and got the barbecue yesterday, we picked me up some hair rollers, so hopefully I’ll be able to get some ringlets going, as soon as I get the energy to actually put them in my hair. I’ve been buying so many girly products lately, that you’d actually believe that I was a girl… It’s different to say the least.

Well, it’s officially time for me to decide what we’re going to barbecue tonight. It’s either gonna be pork or chicken. Gotta get The Boyfriend to spark it up because I’m afraid of propane 😉 Yay for the load limiter and barbecuing when it feels like winter outside.

Tomorrow’s gonna be an exciting day, because Goober gets to come home for a couple hours. We’re all going over to Mama T’s for a visit and it’s going to be good, I hope. I hope the stress of the visit (and the lack of the institution – I know that was really hard for me) isn’t too much for him and he’s fine when he goes back. The kids are really excited to see him too.

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Today has been a day to say the least, and I almost gave The  Boyfriend a heart attack, which is either kind of funny, or really sad 😉

So this morning, The Boyfriend brought home a new entertainment stand that we’ve been eyeing for about a month now. He stayed up almost all day getting it set up, and boy does it look pretty. The good thing about it, is it’s going to clear up the 3 small movie shelves we’ve got, and the TV no longer sits on an un-sturdy, old casino table that I got almost 5 years ago from Wal-Mart.

After he was all done building the thing, I asked if we could go to Wal-Mart to pick up formula for Carter. He’s showing alot of interest in solids, but the second he’s given them, he just spits it all out. The only thing he seems to enjoy at all is mashed potatoes, but I don’t want to give him too much of that. I’ve never had to go through the “transition”. The only kid other than Carter that I got to breastfeed for any length of time was Kenzie, and he was so hungry that it didn’t matter what it tasted like.

He doesn’t like the formula, at all! He chews on the nipple and the second the formula gets in his mouth, he makes a face then starts wailing. He’ll hold the formula that is in his mouth in there, until he starts making a choking type noise and then swallows. Then when you try to put the  bottle back in his mouth, he just shakes his head back and forth. So I’m gonna keep trying, and then I’ll breastfeed him. As long as he’s getting a little bit, it’s more than what he’s getting from me.

So we ended up replacing the office chair that we’ve had at the computer desk, because the screws were starting to tear through the padding (so the chair became extremely uncomfortable to sit on). I built the chair with the kids, and it’s so comfy. It’ll be perfect for the kids on the computer too, because it lifts up and down.

It was nice to be able to get to spend some time alone with The Boyfriend today. My cousin came by and watched all the kids (by herself!), so we could run to Wal-Mart. I got more make-up stuff, and now my make-up kit is almost full. Just need some liquid eyeliner and once I get my eyebrows shaped and learn how, an eyebrow pencil and I’ve got everything I want/need. We finally got Star Trek (the newer movie), which we’ve been talking about getting since it came out.

Kaeidyn’s got a birthday party tomorrow, and she insisted we get her friend Barbies. So we got some cheap princess barbie dolls, and a little princess set with shoes for her. Kaeidyn gets to go bowling for the first time ever tomorrow. It should be very interesting.

So you’re probably curious how I gave The Boyfriend a heart attack earlier today, eh? I teased that I thought I was pregnant again. These last couple of days, I seem to be pretty emotional. Which, prior to The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, wouldn’t be cause for concern. That’s pretty much how you could’ve described me, without being mean. Since being with The Boyfriend, it’s taken alot to make me cry, unless I’m pregnant (which has only happened once, so it’s not like there’s alot of evidence behind it ;))

A couple days back, when Goober first landed in the hospital, they wouldn’t let me talk to him, wouldn’t even tell me he was there. So I called his ER doctor (after hours), and tried my hardest to keep it together, but I was pretty upset. So by the end of the message I left, I was sobbing like a little girl. So much so, that when the secretary returned the message, she left the number and said “It sounds like you were a little upset, and I had problems understanding everything you said, so please return our call at…”

Then today, I had to pay back an old buddy of mine, who I know through Alfie. I’ve known him for many many years, and I’ve seen him treat previous girlfriends pretty crappily, and they normally treat him the same. Today, I saw something that not only brought back a thousand memories, but that cut me to the bone!

I’m sitting on his couch, and his girlfriend comes out of their room. She goes to the fridge and grabs a beer. Puts it down on the coffee table and asks for a lighter so she can go out for a smoke. All of a sudden, my (ex) buddy starts yelling at her that she’s stupid and retarded and when she’s outside having her smoke she might as well just jump off the balcony. My jaw dropped open and my eyes welled up.

I walked out of the building and immediately burst in to tears. And it kept running through my head that that was the most terrible and uncomfortable thing I had ever been through. Then I remembered that, that used to be my life. The only difference is, unlike the girlfriend, I would’ve walked up and slapped him in the face and then I would’ve ran like hell, trying to avoid the return hit.

I came home and told The Boyfriend and I just kept saying that I felt so bad for this girl. And he kept looking at me, his eyebrow cocked like he always does. Realizing what he was getting at, I just said, “I can’t believe I went through alot of the same stuff for almost six years!”, and then I just kept saying it.

See, while Alfie and I fought, pretty much all the time and while Alfie was a prick to me (in a way, not buddies way…), he never once called me stupid or retarded in front of his friends. He never once told me to kill or hurt myself, instead he saved me from hurting myself twice – even if one of those times was purely out of annoyance.

Before The Boyfriend, I didn’t mind fighting at all. I used to start arguments with people, just for the sake of starting an argument.  After spending the last year and a half, with virtually no arguing whatsoever, it just completely overwhelmed me. And that’s how the worst parts of the crap that I went through started, and right before my eyes flashed this poor girl’s future, if she chose to stay with buddy.

It starts with arguing, then it turns into name calling and put downs, and then it escalates into physical harm. Hands, stairwells and keyboards have all taught me that. And it just gets such control over you. Logically, in my head, I knew way before it got physical that I should leave. Do you think I could?

Do you think once it got physical, I left? Nope. And it almost sickens me to think that I used to almost egg it on, and after Alfie and I split ways and that physicalness was gone (a few months after we split ways), I almost missed it and craved it.

The upside to the whole situation, if there even is one, is that it really made me aware of how wonderful The Boyfriend is. More than once, I’ve given him good reason to yell and scream at me – and I mean that literally. And somehow, he has been able to calm himself to the point where we can just talk about it. Even though a few times, he’s kind of hit below the belt (without meaning to) verbally, we talk. We don’t yell, we don’t hit, we don’t call each other names.

I came home from buddies place, and wrapped my arms so tight around The Boyfriend just kissing and hugging him. I am honestly so lucky to have him. Even though some of the shit he does ticks me off sometimes, I wouldn’t trade him for all the world. The whole experience just made me appreciate my relationship so much more, so much more.

Well, I have some other adult-type writing to do now. So, I hope your night finds you in good health and great comfort.