Posts Tagged ‘Kindergarten’

Today is being yet another crappy day this week. It seems like this week has been made up of nothing but crappy days. I hate to complain, but I really don’t think that I like life at all this week.

The Boyfriend and I seem to be having a rough time, even though I think he’s completely unaware of it. I think he thinks things are all great and fine. Though internally, I seem to be constantly awaiting the demise of our relationship. I feel like I’m not getting what I need or want, I’m not getting enough help, I’m just not getting enough. Maybe I’m being too picky. And I haven’t really communicated it all with him recently.

I seriously don’t feel like instructing him on how to be a good boyfriend. I feel like we’ve passed that point. It used to be so different, and now I just feel like he’s being lazy and not putting any effort into anything really. And I could just be being hyper sensitive or whatever, but it’s been almost an entire week of everyday being unhappy with something to do with him.

From not taking out the garbage, to not holding Carter enough (and giving me a break!), to saying I can sleep in and then it doesn’t happen, to not having any sex whatsoever. And it’s beginning to take it’s toll. This morning, he comes down when he first gets home from work and asks if I want to sleep longer. I say, “I don’t want to get up yet” and he says he’ll let me sleep. A little bit later, the kids all come down to my room, and say they’re hungry and The Boyfriend is sleeping. Sure enough, he had fallen asleep upstairs and it ticked me off to no end. If you’re tired and you don’t want to let me sleep in, or don’t think that you can make it for a couple of hours, freaking tell me!

I just feel like our relationship has officially reached this point where we’re standing completely still. We’re not moving forward, or backwards, just not moving at all. It’s not like things are that different. It’s always been like this, just before I was willing to put up with alot more of it. Now, I’m freaking exhausted and lonely, and I don’t want to put up with it anymore. If I’m going to be basically alone, I might as well be alone.

I can’t even truly be mad at him, because most of this stuff can be blamed on his job. And he loves his job and needs to continue working it. He probably wouldn’t be able to find anything better right now when it came to jobs. I don’t want to constantly be saying to him that I hate his job and blame a majority of the problems that we do have completely on his job. But lately, all I’ve been thinking about, is when we first started dating he assured me that he wouldn’t be on nights in a year. It’s been over that, and there is no light to the end of this tunnel. There has been no advances towards a daytime position, unless he wants to drop down to part time. Did I mention, we have four kids?!?!?!?

My brother being back in town is becoming super stressful. He goes in and out of seeming normal so fast it’s ridiculous. I don’t know what to do for him at all and that stresses me out the most. I can’t help him right now, and there’s no one else who will. And I feel so bad for him.

The kids are all doing relatively good. Kenzie had a two day grounding from games, because he wouldn’t help clean the playroom. So the rule was until the playroom was clean he wasn’t allowed to play games. On the second day, the rule changed to, if the room isn’t cleaned by dinner time, toys are getting thrown in the garbage. So there’s about a garbage bag full of toys downstairs, and they finally picked up most of their toys.

Kaeidyn had her Valentine’s Day Party at school yesterday. Alfie and I have been bugging her constantly about this boy named Lukas in her class. I think Kaeidyn has a huge crush on him, though she denies it at all costs. Alfie sings to her “Kaeidyn and Lukas, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage”, and Kaeidyn gets so mad. But everytime she sees Lukas, she laughs at everything he does and then after will say “Oh my Gosh”, in this extremely exaggerated and dramatic voice. Trying to get his attention 😉

Keirnan is finally starting to pick up on more words. Today he was playing games with Kenzie and Kenzie yells at Kaeidyn “It’s a 2-player”, so Keirnan turns around and yells out “2-player”. He’s getting it slowly. Carter’s been pretty good these last couple of days, though his teeth are killing him and he tends to be pretty whiny about it. He’s really starting to show a personality now though. Certain things make him smile, and he loves being tickled. He loves trying to copy other people too, especially if it involves sticking your tongue out. He thinks that’s the greatest and tries to imitate everytime.

My knees are acting up again. I thought it was gone. After I had Carter, my knees lessened up in the hurting department and only got sore if I was going up and down the stairs too much or walking alot. Then out of nowhere, I woke up in the middle of the night, with a shooting pain down my leg and ever since then, my knee has been aching like crazy. Luckily, I have to go see the doctor soon for another shot of depo, so I’ll be talking to him about my knee pain then.

So I guess that’s really all I have to say. Now it’s time to go wake The Boyfriend up so that he can go to the store, and then it’s time to feed Carter… Again!

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My Wii Wishlist

So today, Wal-Mart got a shipment of 25 Wii’s in. The Boyfriend will be picking us up one first thing in the morning. So YAY, I’m getting a Wii. Now it’s just a matter of getting games that I want, and boy are there alot!!!

The Big Bang Theory was on tonight, and Penny and Leonard (played by Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki) broke up, or maybe they didn’t. I really hope they don’t… Just my personal opinion.

Today was a relatively boring day. I walked Kaeidyn to school. It was cold and snowflakes kept getting all in my nose. It was fun picking her up, because we climbed through mounds of snow together. From the time that I woke up, until about 3:30 PM (except for when I was walking to and from Kaeidyn’s school), I was working on blog stuff.

Like I said the other day, I’m working really hard on getting an about type page up for this blog. Then I’ve been working super hard on the XXX Rated Rantings, and then I remembered I had a Tumblr Account, so I decided to use that as an updates type blog, where you can get updates on both the XXX Rated and PG Rantings.

For those of you who are interested in updates, but don’t want to read about the other blog, there’s always the option of subscribing to this blog by RSS, e-mail or subscribing to the Mailing List.

Kenzie did pretty awesome with games today, for the most part. After not being allowed to play all day yesterday, he was told today that he couldn’t play until after lunch. Even though he asked a hundred times, he didn’t throw any fits or doing any real pouting. After lunch, Alfie came over and watched the kids while I went for a nap with Carter and The Boyfriend, and that’s when Kenzie got to put on games. He played until dinner time which was a little ridiculous, but that’s only because I was sleeping.

I think Keirnan’s probably going through another growing spurt. He’s been super clumsy lately, almost every time he walks past the computer desk he hits his head, he trips over his own feet. Kaeidyn and Kenzie both start eating alot right before they go through a growth spurt, they also complain alot about their legs hurting, especially Kaeidyn. Keirnan seems to be tripping all over himself.

So while I solved one creative problem, I’ve noticed a whole slew of others. I’ve been really into the creativity these last couple of days. Constantly singing new songs (though I haven’t written anything down, need a guitar for that kind of flow), writing like crazy. It’s been good. I lost my camera though, so I’m sad because I can’t take pictures of everything.

I keep saying I’m gonna go over to my Mom’s and do some serious recording. I want to lay down at least 5 good tracks. But going over there takes some very careful planning. First, gotta get Alfie to come and watch the three kids (because I can’t have them screaming in the background during recordings, you can hear that on YouTube), and then The Boyfriend and Carter have to come with me. Carter, because I haven’t really gotten the hang of breast pumping enough for a really good feeding and The Boyfriend because I’m too sketchy of being the first person whose walked through the door in close to a month. Ugh the thought of it alone sends shivers down my spine!!

But I went and downloaded the demo version of Fruity Loops 9, so I’ve been playing around on that all day. Already created two awesome beginnings to songs. Unfortunately, because it’s only the demo version, I can’t save anything. Oh well, I’ll just keep re-starting over and over. Maybe tomorrow I’ll finally head over to my Mom’s and then I can solve all my problems. Yeah right, probably not tomorrow, I’ll have a Wii that’ll keep my here.

Well I’ll write more tomorrow. I think I’m gonna have to carry on with this NaBloPoMo thing. The first month was too easy 😉

I feel like that’s all I’ve been doing lately. Feed Cater, work on blog, feed Carter, work on blog. And boy oh boy have I been working on blogs like crazy. First I’ve been trying to complete an about page on this blog. It’s hard to write in the first person about yourself.

Then I’ve been working like crazy on The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Rated Edition. I’ve got a few pages up, and I’m hoping to start posting on a regular basis starting February 1st. I’ll keep you updated.

Today was a relatively boring day. I got to take a nap which was very exciting. Did dishes and made dinner when I woke up. The kids all went to bed super late tonight, so tomorrow will probably be a rough day.

Alfie’s not walking Kaeidyn to school tomorrow, so I’ll be up bright and early to do that. Hopefully it’s warmer tomorrow than it was today. Otherwise I’m gonna be a grumpy Mommy.

Kenzie did really good today not playing games. He asked about a thousand times, but didn’t throw a fit or pout when he was told no. Instead he watched Star Wars all day. He couldn’t play the game, so he might as well watch the movie.

Well I should get this posted, before it’s too late. I just barely made it today. I almost forgot I was working so hard on the other rantings. Hey, did anyone notice my new header? What do you think?

So I’ve finally accomplished some things today. First thing this morning, I started working on The Other Rantings of a Tortured Mind (be warned – there is content of a mature nature on this site and should only be viewed by those over the age of 18). Then I went and dropped my paperwork off downtown and went grocery shopping (thank you Aunty ;)).

Shopping was pretty uneventful for the most part. They didn’t have alot of the things that I went for, so it ended up being a $170 grocery shop, as opposed to the original $500 I had set out for. Ran into Alfie’s parents, first time in a year and a half that I had contact with English. They were very nice and gave me a ride home from shopping.

Alfie came over shortly after I got home. He had fixed Kenzie’s Lego Star Wars game, so Kenzie was right into that. After a very delicious lunch, and putting all the groceries away, I asked Alfie if he’d watch the kids while I took a nap. So I got about an hour and a half nap, which helped so much. I felt so exhausted before, and woke up in a pretty decent mood.

I made some dinner, and I’ve been working on blog stuff ever since. Over the next month or so, you’ll see massive changes around this Rantings and you’ll also start seeing updates on The Other Rantings. It’s being a really creative month.

We were going to these last couple days off that The Boyfriend had, but instead we’re going to do it on the next, go over to my Mom’s house. Since my guitar is broken, I’m going to use her boyfriend’s guitar and I’m going to lay down some tracks and hopefully have some of my songs up on the blog by the end of the month. I’ve been craving some play time and would love to share my stuff with everyone.

You can find some of my stuff online already, but I’d like to put all of it up and present a real quality product out of it. Most of the recordings I do have online were experimentations or goofing around, so it’s not of the best quality. And I’m a bit of a perfectionist 😉

So Kaeidyn’s been practicing her rhyming like crazy. Her teacher hopes to have all the kids rhyming by the end of the year, though she says it’s not part of normal kindergarten curriculum. I personally love it. We’ve been reading her Dr. Seuss books almost every night, and at first she didn’t understand the concept of rhyming. She thought it meant putting things that go together. You’d say “Pig” and she’d say “Farm”, you’d say “Cat” and she’d say “Food”. Now she’s starting to do “Cup” and “Pup”, or “Cat” and “Mat”. I’m pretty proud of her for picking it up so fast.

She’s also started some games based on her speech therapy. She’s working right now on saying her “s” sounds and “sh” sounds. Prior to kindergarten, I never noticed she had any problems with either of those sounds. Once it was pointed out to me, it all became very noticeable. They’ve been working really hard with her in school, and we’ve been practicing all the time at home.

At first she was getting so annoyed sitting with Alfie or I, and saying “SHirt”, “SHape”, “SNake”, “SNare”, over and over and over again. Awhile back, The Boyfriend and I had bought a “Guess What I Am” game. The game comes with a checklist that has check boxes and little pictures. So now, she sits there with her checklist and she makes us repeat after her. When she gets it right, we say it after her. When she gets it wrong, we make her say it again. She goes “Is it shirts or shirts?”, saying it wrong the first time and saying it right the second time. Sometimes she’ll say it wrong both times and that’s when the correction comes in. It’s been working, she’s practicing every day, and she’s improving.

So that’s the Rantings of today then…

I was looking through pictures (all sorts of pictures) last night, and I came to a few realizations about a variety of things.

1. All my kids have grown SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO much…

Past Present

Kaeidyn, 1 1/2 years old

Kaeidyn, 5 years old

Kenzie, 2 or 3 mths

Kenzie, 3 1/2 years old

Keirnan, 1 day old

Keirnan, 2 years old

Carter, 1 day old

Carter, 3 mths old


2. I looked hella rough after Carter was born…

Right After Labour

3 days later...

3. I seriously need to do something about my eyebrows…

Hardly see em...

4. I can’t wait to get my pre-baby body back…

Pre-Baby

Lil Bit Pregnant

Really Pregnant...

Post Baby Body

So, yesterday I was looking around on Amazon.com (which I’ve decided I don’t like as much as I did originally, because they don’t do PayPal – and I don’t have a credit card…), and started checking out the Wii. I’ve been wanting one since it came out, and I played a game of tennis (and kicked some serious butt!).

The Boyfriend and I are either bad or good (depends on how you look at it) at sort of pre-planning our bigger purchases. Though it’s not like this great plan, we’ve just kind of made a list of what gets purchased first and next and so on and so forth. It’s just a list, without any real plan whatsoever. For instance:

  1. Buy a Vacuum
    We did this. It was the number 1 thing we needed.
  2. Buy a Wii (with WiiFit Plus)
    Want it so bad, it’s our next big purchase
  3. Buy a Car
    The plan is to do this with a Profit Sharing check. YAY for Wal-Mart!
  4. Get a new deep freezer
    This is The Boyfriend’s desire, not mine. We have a perfectly good deep freeze, except for the fact that almost an entire months worth of food went bad, because it was unknowingly unplugged. So he just wants to get a new, tinier one.
  5. A new guitar for me…
    My old one, the one The Boyfriend bought me when we were first together for my birthday, my muse, is broken and I can’t fix it. So we’ve agreed, I eventually get a new one.
  6. 32″ Flat Screen TV
    Another one of The Boyfriend’s desires.  For some reason, one that I don’t quite understand, he wants a TV in our room. We’re almost never in our room for any length of time, let alone any time that it would be worth it to put a TV down there. But he’s been obsessed with the idea over the last couple of days.
  7. A Cell Phone
    When we first started dating, The Boyfriend went out and bought us both cellphones. I was going to his house alot and leaving Alfie at my house with the kids alot. He never had a land line, back then Alfie hated calling his phone, so he solved the problem by buying me my own cell phone.

    Well one day, I opened up my cellphone and the screen was just blank. And it stayed that way. I didn’t get it fixed, because it turned out I didn’t really need a cellphone. No one ever called me on it… Now I don’t know where my cellphone and he has no real use for a cellphone.  But we’ve discovered that when we go shopping or whatever, it would be great if we had a cellphone.

    There’s been times where Alfie’s had to send Mama T to pick Kaeidyn up from school, because The Boyfriend and I have been rushing back from grocery shopping and couldn’t call in time to let him know to get all the kids ready to go pick her up. Luckily he’s a generally smart guy, and figured out to call my Mom (even though it was only 10 minutes before Kaeidyn got off school).

  8. A new computer
    We keep saying we need to buy a new computer for The Boyfriend to run his games on, like World of Warcraft and Pirates of the Burning Sea. And I want a laptop for all the writing that I want to be doing, and all the research that I end up doing…

This stuff will probably take us a few years to acquire. As long as we have a Wii by summer (because I want to get my pre-baby body back, and I think that a Wii Fit will keep me motivated and I’ll want to do it because I love me some video games – I enjoy trying to beat everyone’s high score, it would be great competition for The Boyfriend and I. Muwhahahahahaha), and a car by next winter (profit sharing should be next month, so with any luck, it’ll be as soon as next month!), because eventually Alfie’s gonna get a job and not be able to walk Kaeidyn to school every morning, and then I’ll have to suffer through the freezing cold winters.

Kaeidyn has a full day of school today, which meant we had to send a lunch to school with her. Should be easy, right? Wrong. First, I don’t get paid until tomorrow, and I don’t touch The Boyfriend’s money without asking him first. And he’s sleeping, and I don’t even know if he has any money (I’m very determined to keep my financial independence and not force him to pick up Alfie’s slack), and I’m not gonna wake him up to ask. But anywho…

So then I find out yesterday, that I’m out of sandwich bags. Then to make matters worse, the last piece of bread got finished off late last night, and the english muffins went moldy. So all the things I needed for Kaeidyn to take for lunch, we didn’t have. For once, Alfie was useful in this department, and he had everything I didn’t, so lunch has been saved. But man was I ever stressing about it all morning. I even woke up early because of it!

Still have tons of cleaning to get done today. I’m probably gonna start that relatively soon. Hopefully I’ll actually get the revised edition of my to-do list done. And then tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I have to walk downtown, then bus it back up to the North Side (haven’t been on a bus in almost 2 years), then I’ve got to do grocery shopping most likely solo, and then I’ve got to pile $500 worth of groceries (which doesn’t sound like alot, but somehow just around that – give or take a few dollars – feeds us for an entire month!) into a cab and then bring it all in the house as quickly as possible. Not looking forward to tomorrow… Oh well, what can you do?

Today has been an incredibly long day. The poor Boyfriend is exhausted and I feel so bad for him, because even though he had last night off, he had to go back to work today.

We decided today would be the perfect day to do some cleaning. Really, he did all the cleaning, I just kind of paced. So he took no nap because he was hard at work doing a variety of things. Like sweeping the floor (which I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do), he tidied up the storage room (which hasn’t been touched in months, and has become a catch-all for junk), took all the bags of bottles (from the 2 bottles of Sprite I go through a day), downstairs so they were out of the way  and even took apart the futon so we could get the kids on the big mattress instead of the small mattress.

I did some dishes today, and made a delicious and classic Sunday dinner. We had roast beef, yorkshire puddings, mashed potatoes, roasted potatoes and gravy. Unfortunately there was no corn, but I was filled after one plate and only Kaeidyn asked for more meat.

Kenzie hasn’t been feeling very good since yesterday when he puked. He spent most of yesterday sleeping, and then spent the daytime today playing games or watching TV, and then fell asleep shortly after dinnertime. He’s been completely asleep ever since.

So, I was watching The Golden Globes and you would not believe what happened. I literally was so excited. Jim Parsons from The Big Bang Theory (my current favourite comedy on TV), and Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls (my second favourite show of all time, coming second only to ER), presented an award together.

Jim Parsons and Lauren Graham

I have to admit that I have a huge crush on Jim Parsons, also known as Sheldon Cooper. At first I thought it was just a crush on his character, but then I went on YouTube and watched a few hours worth of interviews with him, and then seeing him on Rachael Ray and Ellen (the only thing that’s on at 4 and 6 when I’m most likely to be watching TV), I think he is so sexy in this totally different way.

Lauren Graham is just plain amazing. I watched her way back when she was on Newsradio, and then I started watching Gilmore Girls the very first time it was ever played. And then I watched it throughout the whole seven seasons (I took a hiatus sometime during 2001 or 2002, though caught up…), plus I watched it when it started from the beginning and carried through on the W Network, and now we’re working on building my DVD collection, and have the first and second season and are expanding as quickly as I can.

So I was so happy to see that two of my favourite people presented an award together. Right away, The Boyfriend and I were going off about them being in a romantic comedy together. Though I still don’t know if I could ever see Sheldon Cooper with another human being in an intimate sense, let alone a woman. And if it is going to be a woman, it should be me, and Lauren Graham can wait her turn.

I’m really hoping tomorrow I’ll have more energy than I did today. Today, I was craving a smoke so bad. I don’t even know why. It seems the more time that goes by, the more I miss smoking. I miss having the excuse, I miss having the routine. “I’ll make dinner after this smoke”, “Oh, dinner is done. Time for a smoke”, I miss that. I miss taking a bath and The Boyfriend having to bring me down a smoke, it was a reason for him to come in while I was soaking. Now, there’s no reason, so he doesn’t. So today I pretty much sat curled up in a chair, whining about wanting a smoke.

Well Kaeidyn’s got school tomorrow, and we’ve gotta get up early so that she can take a bath in the morning. Hopefully my sketchiness will be under control enough tonight, that I’ll just fall straight to sleep. Doors locked, check. Light on, check. Now it’s just a matter of not thinking about anything morbid. Wish me luck 😉

Well today was a day to say the least. It felt incredibly long, mostly stressful and a tiny bit exhausting. Even though it was a “No School Day”, (which I swears happens more now than it did when I was in school) the kids were still up at 7:30 this morning. I always hate that, because I wish they would sleep in so bad on days off. Even just until 9 or something. So even though The Boyfriend said he’d wake up with the kids, Carter had woken up and I just chose to get out of bed instead of feeding him until he went back to sleep.

Around noon The Boyfriend went to bed, and Alfie came over shortly after that. The Boyfriend has issues with Alfie, just as Alfie has issues with The Boyfriend, and each of them have justifiable rights to their issues. After The Boyfriend and I’s talk about things last night, we both agreed that it would be best if Alfie had two days a week where he didn’t come over. He used to stay home at least two days a week, but that was also back when he was taking the kids on weekends. He hasn’t done that in a long time.

I’m not 100% sure why, as I often don’t understand Alfie, but he didn’t like this idea of lessening to 5 days a week, as opposed to 7. Threw a mini hissy fit, that I basically ignored. I hate it though, because he can make me feel like I’m taking the kids away from him, even when I’m just setting routine-type rules. Are there any other people who have kids with a guy that you were never married to, and aren’t with anymore, that comes over to your house every single day of the week? Alfie’s response to that, when I said that it’s not normal to have him here everyday of the week, was that it’s not normal to date and have a kid with his friend. I think in comparison, dating your exes friend is a lot more normal than visiting your ex whose with your friend daily!!!

After our mini disagreement, I decided I wanted to go for a nap. Unfortunately, I didn’t sleep a wink. I laid there wide awake for 3 1/2 hours. The Boyfriend was curled up behind me, sleeping away, and Carter was curled right into me, sleeping away. I was laying in the middle very frustrated that I couldn’t seem to sleep. It didn’t help that the three terrors were upstairs jumping off the furniture and that’s all you could hear downstairs.

I woke up and did dishes, which made all three of the kids unhappy, because I wouldn’t let them help. I was very much not in the mood to do dishes at all, but I’ve already skipped a couple days of doing dishes here and there, and I hate that I can’t complete such a simple goal. I’ve been kicking my butt hard about some of these things.

I’ve been trying so hard to get all my goals written out, and you would not believe how hard it is. I keep making these very broad statements about what I want, and I don’t think about the little steps it takes there. My big goal since quitting smoking is to “Get Healthy”. Unfortunately for me, it’s not as simple as just getting healthy. There’s a whole bunch of steps to being healthy, such as eating properly and being physically active. Of course, that just raises more questions than it answers when I haven’t, in my entire life, really been healthy. I don’t know where to begin or where to go from there.

Another goal, “Get your life under control”, that’s a really broad one. There are a thousand goals within that one goal, from creating a routine and sticking to it, to paying off debts, to being more of the mother that I want to be. It’s really difficult to narrow it down into manageable steps. Of course, there’s almost no good places to go for the manageable steps to these goals. It’s to each persons requirements and specifications. To each their own. I don’t know what it’s like to have a life that’s under control, how am I supposed to know what types of steps I need to take to do these things?

The Boyfriend and I have officially opened a can of worms that will not shut. I haven’t yet decided if I like this open can of worms or not, but since our little talk yesterday, it feels like that’s all we’ve been doing. He’s constantly seeking reassurance that I’m not going to break up with him (which is ironic, because I was sure he was going to break up with me). We discovered in all our back and forth rantings that we are stuck in a vicious circle, and it might just end up being this way for the rest of our lives. Maybe this is the vicious circle that all young parents go through, because Alfie and I went through much of the same thing. Except for about 100 times worse.

In the beginning of The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, I made some serious mistakes that will forever affect the course of our relationship. He was the amazing boyfriend and I was the crappy girlfriend. We pushed through that. Now, according to him more than me, he’s the crappy boyfriend and I’m the amazing girlfriend. We’re just getting even. I figure it’ll level out in about 6 months, we’ll spend the next 6 months or so on an even level, where neither of us is good or bad, but instead we’re both just blissful. Then about 3 or 4 months later, we’ll start being crappy girlfriends and boyfriends again.

But the kids fell asleep in my bed, and I’m officially tired, so now it is time for me to move Kaeidyn, Kenzie and Keirnan from one bed to another. and crawl into bed with my grumpy Carter where I will drift off into a peaceful sleep *fingers crossed*.