Posts Tagged ‘Game’

I am so tired and yet, do you think I would go to bed? No, no I wouldn’t. Because I’m so into a whole bunch of things on the Internet, that it’s almost impossible for me to walk away. I’m sure it’s officially an addiction. When I go to bed at night thinking about The Rantings Network, and the first thing I think about doing in the morning is working on it (to the point where I’ll argue with myself, “Sleep on the couch or work on the web” and the web almost always wins!), I think it crosses the line from hobby to addiction.

So what has kept me so attached to my computer, you ask. I’ve been working incredibly hard on fifth and sixth blogs/sites in The Rantings Network, The Art Of… and The Art Of… Academy. In the last week:

  • My concept for both have changed
    Originally I had planned on The Art Of… providing all sorts of educational sexual information, and The Art Of… Academy would just be a members only gathering spot.

    Since then, it’s changed to The Art Of… Academy offers courses on a variety of sexual subjects. Viewers register to access lessons and the participant workbook. The Art Of… will now feature selected lessons, participant contributions and other posts of interest.

  • I’ve created a total of five series, each having five courses with a minimum of five lessons. Of course, I’m still in the research stage, so all this is just templates and ideas – but I’m gonna look at that as a huge accomplishment!
  • I’ve created at least another four sub-sites to house all the courses. Thankfully, since they’re password protected, and I don’t expect anyone to start registering to courses until closer to the end of the year, I can take more time adding content and don’t have to feel rushed.

    After all the pages are set to add content (which I figure will take me a maximum of another two weeks), I’ll be starting a strict research regime to prepare for lesson creation, and the current plan is to have courses complete and ready to go by the new year!

Somehow, even though I feel like (and The Boyfriend probably does too) I spend all day at the computer, I’ve been getting out of the house. Today, we got invited over to The Club House (Mama T’s place). First we went to the exercise park, and even though all the kids have been begging me to take them all week, they were hardly interested and only cared about going up to The Club House. We got maybe half an hour in before they all started whining too much. I spent most of the time at the exercise park on the “glider”, which is basically these step pads that swing back and forth, as if you’re walking with a bounce to your step (and with little-to-no joint pain).

Then we went upstairs, and somehow Mama T got Carter to fall asleep on her chest. He never falls asleep on my chest, even though I’ve tried a thousand times. He normally just keeps crawling up me, and pulling my hair. Even The Boyfriend can’t normally get him to fall asleep on his chest, Carter just crawls up and sucks on his nose (that’s The Boyfriend’s own fault!).

We had a delicious homemade hamburger lupper (lunch and dinner), watched Stuart Little 3 (and I’m curious why they did it cartoon animated, even though it had all the same actors as the first two), and then I dozed off with Carter in my arms in Mama T’s broken gliding chair. It was a surprisingly nice little nap actually.

We came home and almost immediately I jumped on the computer, and I’ve been on it ever since. Though I think I’m going to bed after this post, maybe a game or two of Mahjong Dimensions. So that’s my day in a nutshell πŸ˜‰

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I know that it’s only been like maybe four or five days, but I’ve missed blogging. First, we thought the phone, internet and cable had all been disconnected. But upon paying another “large” sum on that bill, it turned out that someone had screwed with our connection, so we had to have a service guy come in and fix everything. Luckily, everything is back up and running smoothly.

It was the longest four or five days of my life. The only good thing about not having cable or internet is that The Boyfriend and I spent some serious quality time together. We finally watched a bunch of movies that we’ve kind of put on the back burner.

Friday, we went and did our pay day shopping trip. We got a few more movies plus three more games. According to the sales associate at Best Buy, the Wii Balance Board not being in stock is an Alberta wide problem. We checked three different places, and not one of them had the balance board, nor did they know when they would next be getting them.

So sadly, no Wii Fit or other fitness game that required the balance board. Luckily for me, Jenny McCarthy has solved that problem with Your Shape. It uses a USB camera, and tells you when you’re doing moves wrong. I’ve done 3 workouts, today was my break day. Yesterday, my abs were killing me.

While I don’t think that the game is that great for correcting form, and I don’t like that to learn how to do the move, you have to stop in the middle of your workout to watch a tutorial for one move, it is really great to be working out and moving around again. It’s a good motivator to try to improve your score!

The Boyfriend also got the Star Wars: Clone Wars game, with a blaster and a light saber. I haven’t played it yet, and the only complaint from The Boyfriend is constantly switching back and forth between the accessories. I think that’s always going to be a complaint about the Wii, until they can figure out a way to make switching between accessories easier.

Then we got the kids My Storybook Workshop. Kaeidyn’s loving the game and puts it on at least once a day to listen to a story and record a song. Kenzie’s still very much into his Lego: Star Wars, especially since Alfie brought over a memory card that has all the characters unlocked. Keirnan has been really into these “Where’s Waldo” type books, but with Taz and Scooby Doo instead.

Alfie finally got a job!!! I’m very excited about him working. The only thing that sucks is, I know I’m gonna start feeling like he’s neglecting the kids. Especially being that he’ll be working, and then when he’s not working, he’ll want to be partying, or out with his buddies or his current female interest. Plus, I know how Alfie is with jobs. How he’s been for years. He’ll spend the first month or two, constantly excited, constantly telling everyone how much he loves his job. Then something will happen, and it will become a fight for him everyday to go. Then something else will happen, and he just won’t go. I’m hoping, now that we’re not together, that it’ll change. That he’ll finally get his life going in a forward direction.

Carter is teething hard right now, and it’s beginning to seriously test my patience. None of my other kids really had a problem with teething. Kaeidyn’s first tooth broke through without us even noticing. One day she had no teeth, the next she had teeth. Kenzie had a bit of a problem, but a tiny bit of Orajel and he was fine. Keirnan was much the same way, and didn’t really start having problems with his teeth until the top four started rotting. Carter on the other hand, with two teeth coming in on the sides, is having a big problem.

He hates his Orajel, he cries almost all the time when he’s sleeping (that’s probably an over-exaggeration. I know he still smiles, but times like these, it’s hard to remember them). Today has been one of those days where I’ve had to put him down and walk away too many times. Sometimes I feel like screaming at him, “I have three other kids, I can’t be permanently attached to you!”, and then I look at him and I remember that he’s just a baby and he doesn’t know any better. I see that he’s in pain, and it’s incredibly hard to stay mad. I feel guilty for putting him down.

Dinner always seems to be the worst time. I go out to start the dishes, and as soon as the water gets turned on, he starts screaming out in the living room. So I’ll finish up the dishes really quickly and come back out and feed him. I always seem to think that that feeding will knock him out and he’ll sleep and let me make dinner in peace. I’m always wrong. Instead, he cries through the entire time that I make dinner, and through the entire time that I eat dinner. So I feed him again. After another half hour or so of crying, I finally give in and force him to take his Orajel. He gets right angry at me, cries even louder, makes these sour lemon faces, and then passes out long enough for me to catch my breath.

I think, all in all, even though my stress limits are through the roof right now, that I’m doing pretty good. I seem to be managing pretty well. Albeit, I’ve yelled more in the last week than I have in at least 6 months, and that’s exhausting. But there’s been alot going on.

First, Alfie starts having sex again. After a year and a half of him trying to “win me back”, he finally has sex with someone else. My only problem with the entire thing, was that he missed a day of calling the kids. Then he got a job, which is exciting, but again takes him away from the kids. Less of a bother being that he’s finally making money! Then my brother, Goober, came back to town.

About a year ago, my brother came back from BC, going through some massive things after a Ketamine trip. He spent some time in a mental institution (after basically being forced out there), got out and went back to BC. We were told he was acting normally, and seemed to be doing better. He came back here, and I don’t think he’s doing better at all. I think he’s doing ALOT worse. Before he seemed to have some sort of control over himself, now it seems like he’s lost and confused and completely unaware of himself.

He talks to himself, to people who aren’t there. He comes up with stuff in his head. Like today, he comes over here, and The Boyfriend’s been borrowing Mama T’s car while she’s out in Vancouver. Well, Goober comes in and says that my Mom sent him a message saying that she wanted us to put the car back in her parking lot. I told him that Mama T gave us permission to use her car until she got back from the Olympics, did she actually message him or was he just making it up. He says “I could be making it up”, so he got snapped at. He listens worse than my 2 year old, Keirnan.

The other day, he comes over just as The Boyfriend and I are putting on P.S. I Love You (which is a really good movie, by the way), and he’s told when he walks in that we’re getting ready to watch a movie so he has to be quiet. The kids had already been told that they had to be quiet, and if they weren’t going to be quiet to go to the play room. Kaeidyn and Keirnan were sitting quietly watching the movie and Kenzie was playing games, and Goober starts making noises. Then he starts playing with Keirnan. He gets told to be quiet and so does Keirnan. Keirnan sits back and quiets down, Goober on the other hand, starts making more noise. After the sixth time of telling him to be quiet, he got kicked out of the house.

He’s just been pushing it so hard. I don’t know for sure what “it” is, but I don’t like when he pushes “it”. I don’t know if I believe that he’s like this because he can’t control it. Most of the time, I think he’s doing it intentionally. If I weren’t to think about it like that, I would probably worry alot. I had a big hand in who my brother is today. I taught him alot of the things he knows.

I sat beside him while we were kids, practicing reading every single day. I went along for every appointment that concerned his education, from hearing tests to meetings with speech therapists and everywhere in between. I played games with him to help his lazy eye and extended neck muscles. Countless hours, we sat with a broomstick between us, pulling each other back and forth. Countless hours, I spent in his classroom at school, helping his teacher and going to meetings with his special reading teacher at school.

When we both were teenagers, I introduced Goober to punk rock, and showed him the way of the punk. Taught him that being a punk was bigger than you and me. Taught him why good music was good music. Took him to his first punk rock show and skanked in the pit with him. Gave him his first mohawk, and taught him how to use Knox Gelatin to get the perfect liberty spike.

And now, he’s like a ghost of his former self. Five years ago, I would’ve told you that he had the potential to do anything. He had held a job for over a year (which was something that was totally foreign to me), he seemed like his life could go anywhere. Unfortunately, it went somewhere. Somewhere bad and dark and scary and creepy. And I can’t even help him because I simply don’t know how. I’m very skeptical about what is really going on with him, and that’s my biggest problem. Plus, I have four kids and little time to help myself, let alone anyone else. I hate that I don’t even feel like he’s my baby brother anymore, I feel like he’s gone. Now, he’s just a guy that I’m morally obligated to. It sucks. I miss him.

Kaeidyn went to her first Birthday Party on Sunday. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to take her, though it’s probably for the best. The Boyfriend took her down to the Kerrywood Nature Center, and she spent about 2 1/2 hours down there with some of her friends from school. It’s amazing how much she’s grown…

I’ve been sketching out pretty badly these last couple of days. Had my worst bout yet, the other night when The Boyfriend took a sick day. Carter was breathing loud, The Boyfriend was breathing loud and I couldn’t carry out my normal routine of listening to the sounds of my house and analyzing all of them and then talking myself out of going to check to see if someone broke into the house, and eventually, I just gave in and came and slept upstairs on the couch. Unfortunately, that didn’t solve my problem and I spent the next three hours on the couch analyzing every sound and convincing myself that it was just the heater.

I’m thinking about talking to my doctor about sleeping pills or anti-anxiety pills or something. The panic attacks at night are getting ridiculous. During the day, I seem to be doing fine. I’m in a pretty good mood most days, though snappy because I’m lacking in sleep. It’s one of those things that I’m nervous about though. I’ve been on anti-depressants before, and I was on sleeping pills for a month to reset my sleeping schedule awhile back. But it’s not something I really want to repeat. It wasn’t something I wanted in the first place, it was more something I needed. I’m starting to feel the need for it again. So we’ll see. I have to go see the doctor again next month, so unless it gets really bad before then, I’ll talk to him about it then.

Well, even though it’s only been four or five days, it feels amazing to be back blogging! Can’t wait to do it again πŸ˜‰

Today was an incredibly boring day. After getting to sleep in a little late, The Boyfriend realized he still had the keys from work. So he ended up having to take a cab up to the south end. Before leaving he was all like “If they have them, do you want me to pick up a Wii?”. Hells yes I did. Well then they didn’t have them.

The Boyfriend bought the kids a new movie and Super Troopers (which I’ve never had an interest to see, but he insisted that I’d think it was hilarious. I didn’t…), but didn’t come back with any other treats than beef jerky for me. So of course, I had to give him a hard time. I go “You didn’t get me anything?” and he felt all bad and was like “I looked and couldn’t find anything you’d want.” He’s partially right. All the things that I want, that aren’t a Wii or a car, are things that I don’t want enough to get right now.

But of course, I had to be right, and The Boyfriend was all like “I didn’t know what you’d want”, I had to be like “I’ve told you a ton of things that I wanted”, he says “Like what?”, so naturally I started thinking of things. Materials for my home management notebook for one. Though I automatically hated this idea, because it’s just a big fat reminder that I haven’t done anything more with the whole idea.

So I spent the better majority of the morning-afternoon, being bored and thinking about how much I wish I could’ve been playing a Wii. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. Patience is a virtue. Blah blah blah…

Kaeidyn, Kenzie and Keirnan went to American’s and English’s tonight with Alfie, and The Boyfriend was sleeping, so Carter and I hung out on the couch for a few hours tonight. He barely slept at all the entire time, and was mostly in a good mood. He was very talkative. And I would talk back, and use my real laugh instead of my fake laugh when he would smile really big.

The Boyfriend woke up around nine, and Carter was awake and talkative, and started experimenting with his laugh. He’s coo, and then he’d get kind of loud. Then he’d hold his breath and let out with this puff of coo. He kept doing it over and over, like he was practicing laughing. It’s amazing how fast he’s growing up.

An acquaintance of mine, a great friend of Alfie’s, came over today. He hadn’t seen Carter since he was born. Right away, he commented on how huge Carter’s gotten. All the other kids took awhile to “grow up”. They were all premature and had no desire to be older than their age.

Kaeidyn, born 4 weeks premature, started rolling over and crawling around 5 months. She started walking at 9 1/2 months. Kenzie, who was technically born full term, 2 weeks before my due date, was about the same as Kaeidyn. He started walking later, closer to a year for him. Keirnan, born 7 weeks premature, started rolling over and crawling around 6 months and walking around 10 or 11 months. Carter is rolling over and crawling at 3 months (started at 2…)! He’s also teething alot sooner than the other three. They all started about the same time they started crawling.

Does anyone else seriously miss their babies being babies? I never experienced this with any of the other kids. But every time I look at Carter, I just keep thinking about my babies when they were babies, or more babies than what they are now.

If I could go back and re-do it all, I would in a heartbeat. I’d love to experience the whole trauma with Kaeidyn’s birth and the months that followed again, except for I’d like to deal with alot of the things that happened during that time differently. I’d kill to have my pre-Kenzie body back and the energy that I felt after having him. I’d go back to when Keirnan was in the hospital, and I’d spend more time with him, nurturing and caring for him.

I wasn’t present for the other kids like I am with Carter. Life was so hectic and crazy during those times. I almost feel bad when I give Carter all this love and attention that he gets, when the other kids didn’t get that when they were that age. With Kaeidyn, I went through a horrible bout of postpartum depression, plus I had had the infected c-section incision that lasted close to the first month she was home. I didn’t hold her as often as I could’ve, I didn’t play with her as much as I should’ve, I didn’t say “I love you” to her every single day. I regret that…

With Kenzie, I was caught up in boys and my version of partying (which trust me, is probably nothing in comparison to most people’s version of partying). He got alot more than Kaeidyn did, as I had spent two very serious weeks in a mental institution at the beginning of the pregnancy, and had much more control over alot of my emotions. Him and I bonded right from the second he was born, though as he got older, we’ve just kind of drifted apart. He’s too into his games right now (seriously thinking about putting a stop to the whole gaming thing for him for awhile), and I’m just not that into games.

Keirnan was in the hospital for the first month of his life, and I was living in a hotel with the two other kids. Mama T worked full-time, Alfie was out of town and I had no one else to rely on to watch the older kids daily so I could go visit Keirnan. I would go up about every three days, sometimes more. In the first week, it wasn’t that bad. I was only allowed to hold him for 15 minutes a day, I was pumping at home and bringing in bottles of breast milk.

When people started visiting him in the hospital, I would always say “He looks like he’s dead”. He’d be laying there, covered in cords, under his cloth sunglasses (he was under lamps because of his jaundice, which he went in and out of having the whole time he was in the hospital), just barely breathing. I’d reach in and touch him through the holes and he never flinched, never moved. Just laid there.

About 3 weeks in, I cried and cried, for the first time. I hate that I didn’t see him more, and that I didn’t cherish that first month more. I hate that I couldn’t hold him more. Now as he gets older, I wish I had more patience. He’s in that stage of learning to talk, yet having no idea how. He squeals and grunts and points. With Kaeidyn, she picked up on the talking really quickly. As long as she was told to slow down, she could get what she wanted across. Kenzie, I hardly remember what it was like when he started talking. It seemed like one day he couldn’t and the next day he could. Keirnan is just not picking it up at all, and he doesn’t slow down. I’m finding that I don’t do so well during this stage.

I’m glad that I have at least another 10+ years to make up for all the mistakes I made with my kids. At least I have Β the rest of my life to tell all the kids “I love you” everyday. And thankfully, even with all the mistakes I made, all my kids are healthy, happy and to me, their amazing. And even though I miss when they were babies, I can’t wait to see what their going to be like when they’re older.

Kaeidyn will most likely have a rotten attitude, just like her mother. I have a feeling that I’m going to go through alot of the same things my Mom went through with me with that girl. Kenzie, if he sticks with this gamer thing, will most likely be tied up in his bedroom, playing games and designing graphics. I could totally see him being a whiny emo kid (oh wait, he already is ;)). With Keirnan, it’s really too soon to tell. He’ll most likely be like Alfie was growing up, except Keirnan will do it better. For every bit of devilish destruction that Alfie participated in, Keirnan will destroy twice as much. Alfie was/is a wannabe ladies man, Keirnan will be a ladies man. I’m hoping one of them will be super musical, maybe it’ll be Carter.

Well I had planned for this to only be a short post, but looks like that plan didn’t turn out as planned πŸ˜‰ More again tomorrow, only a week and a day left before I’ve officially completed NaBloPoMo!! YAY!!

So I’ve finally accomplished some things today. First thing this morning, I started working on The Other Rantings of a Tortured Mind (be warned – there is content of a mature nature on this site and should only be viewed by those over the age of 18). Then I went and dropped my paperwork off downtown and went grocery shopping (thank you Aunty ;)).

Shopping was pretty uneventful for the most part. They didn’t have alot of the things that I went for, so it ended up being a $170 grocery shop, as opposed to the original $500 I had set out for. Ran into Alfie’s parents, first time in a year and a half that I had contact with English. They were very nice and gave me a ride home from shopping.

Alfie came over shortly after I got home. He had fixed Kenzie’s Lego Star Wars game, so Kenzie was right into that. After a very delicious lunch, and putting all the groceries away, I asked Alfie if he’d watch the kids while I took a nap. So I got about an hour and a half nap, which helped so much. I felt so exhausted before, and woke up in a pretty decent mood.

I made some dinner, and I’ve been working on blog stuff ever since. Over the next month or so, you’ll see massive changes around this Rantings and you’ll also start seeing updates on The Other Rantings. It’s being a really creative month.

We were going to these last couple days off that The Boyfriend had, but instead we’re going to do it on the next, go over to my Mom’s house. Since my guitar is broken, I’m going to use her boyfriend’s guitar and I’m going to lay down some tracks and hopefully have some of my songs up on the blog by the end of the month. I’ve been craving some play time and would love to share my stuff with everyone.

You can find some of my stuff online already, but I’d like to put all of it up and present a real quality product out of it. Most of the recordings I do have online were experimentations or goofing around, so it’s not of the best quality. And I’m a bit of a perfectionist πŸ˜‰

So Kaeidyn’s been practicing her rhyming like crazy. Her teacher hopes to have all the kids rhyming by the end of the year, though she says it’s not part of normal kindergarten curriculum. I personally love it. We’ve been reading her Dr. Seuss books almost every night, and at first she didn’t understand the concept of rhyming. She thought it meant putting things that go together. You’d say “Pig” and she’d say “Farm”, you’d say “Cat” and she’d say “Food”. Now she’s starting to do “Cup” and “Pup”, or “Cat” and “Mat”. I’m pretty proud of her for picking it up so fast.

She’s also started some games based on her speech therapy. She’s working right now on saying her “s” sounds and “sh” sounds. Prior to kindergarten, I never noticed she had any problems with either of those sounds. Once it was pointed out to me, it all became very noticeable. They’ve been working really hard with her in school, and we’ve been practicing all the time at home.

At first she was getting so annoyed sitting with Alfie or I, and saying “SHirt”, “SHape”, “SNake”, “SNare”, over and over and over again. Awhile back, The Boyfriend and I had bought a “Guess What I Am” game. The game comes with a checklist that has check boxes and little pictures. So now, she sits there with her checklist and she makes us repeat after her. When she gets it right, we say it after her. When she gets it wrong, we make her say it again. She goes “Is it shirts or shirts?”, saying it wrong the first time and saying it right the second time. Sometimes she’ll say it wrong both times and that’s when the correction comes in. It’s been working, she’s practicing every day, and she’s improving.

So that’s the Rantings of today then…

Do you ever have those days where you hate your extended family? I have days where I hate my family, and I have days when I hate Alfie’s family. Today, just happens to be one of those days.

This was all of the cause of the ending of the old Rantings. I wrote what I felt at the moment, Alfie’s family took it the wrong way, and a fight started which ultimately led to the end of the Rantings. And here we are today, where I want to rant about some things, and I feel like all of these people would come down on me like a ton of bricks… Oh well….

About a year ago, the English and American posted some rather nasty comments on a bunch of my status’ on Facebook. I hadn’t personally dealt with them in a few months, because I was dating The Boyfriend. So when they wanted to see the kids, Alfie would watch the kids at my house and they would come see the kids while he was here and I was gone.

Well first came the nasty comments, I went and privately messaged them asking what was going on, they posted back to a comment about how messy my house was and basically that they thought Kaeidyn wasn’t as smart as she could’ve been, “She doesn’t even know her colors!”. I’ve never been naive, I know for the rest of my life, everyone, especially in-laws, will question my parenting. That’s the joys of becoming a parent. I just hated that it had to be in such a public forum.

So then when a bunch of my friends and my sister defended me on Facebook, American went and sent them all private messages, explaining in detail just how horrible of a parent she considered me to be. And how much she wanted to call child welfare on me, and would suggest to them to do it. My friends and my sister (being my friends and my sister) all sent me the messages, wondering what the heck was going on. I simply cut contact, I wasn’t about to play the stupid game. I know in my heart that I’m doing what I need to be doing to keep my kids safe, healthy and in the best possible condition that I am capable of. I’m also pretty darn sure that I’d be aware of it if I wasn’t being good enough. But anywho…

We went a really really really long time without talking at all. They didn’t see the kids, there seemed to be no problems. I was all in that “Phew” state. And then it all came crashing down…

English’s daughter was coming to town (from England), and had never met any of the kids. It was my desire for my kids to meet their Dad’s sister, and it was Alfie’s desire too. I tried to put down the rule that as long as the people who called my kid stupid and bashed me publicly on Facebook weren’t involved. I was informed this was impossible. When Alfie freaked out, I went and said that if American and English could just apologize, it’d probably all be different. So Alfie was all like “No, it wouldn’t”, and my determination to always be right with Alfie completely screwed me over. I was dumb and went and said “Yes, it would!”. He goes and tells American and English this.

So then American (who wasn’t even the one who started the nasty comments), calls me up out of the blue looking to apologize. She wasn’t the one I was mad at, plus she really gave me no choice. Before she was even done the apology, she was already talking to the kids about coming to their house to meet their Auntie English. The kids were so excited about getting to meet someone from England, and too young to understand anything about disrespect, that I just gave in.

About three months ago, this all went down. English has still refused to have any contact with me at all, and last I heard thinks I’m this fat, loser, w with a h and an ore, so I’ve made no effort to talk to him. American now thinks we’re all buddy buddy and comes over often. I smile for the kids, because I don’t want to deprive them of any relationship with people that could potentially give them something great. I can’t let my own problems with people, interfere with my kids relationships (unless those relationships should harm them, and so far, I have no proof that American and English would harm my kids. Just their mother…).

Well today, American came over for one of her visits. Out of nowhere, she asks about my Dad. I haven’t really talked to my Dad for quite a long time. A bit of a sore subject for me. My Dad and I had a bit of a falling out, quite a long time ago, that I didn’t even find out about until almost 6 months later. I just thought maybe he couldn’t call me or something.

Then all of a sudden, I found out that it was because my Dad had heard about me going to a munch (a lunch get-together for kinky people – it was my very first, I haven’t been again since. Really want to, but 4 kids makes it incredibly hard), and was disgusted, so decided he wasn’t going to talk to me. I personally think it’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard. First of all, my Dad knew years ago that I was into the kinky stuff, and often joked with me about. And then just one day, it disgusts him. I guess maybe because I was in public. Whatever… I’ve basically come to this decision about life that if people don’t like the way I live my life or the way that I am, than they’re not people I want as part of my life or part of who I am. So, whatever…

Turns out, all my enemies are like best friends. My step-mother, a truly evil woman who has damaged a handful of people, and American, who publicly bashed her step-grandchildren and their mother, talk on the phone all the time. American knew why my Dad and I haven’t been talking. She’s all up in my family’s business, and it ticks me off. It ticks me off even more that my evil step-mother (who hasn’t been welcome in my house for almost two years, and has nothing to do with me or my kids, ever. And I plan on keeping it that way for the rest of my life – because I’ve had proof that I need to protect my children from that harm), has an enemy eye into my household and the way it’s run… Argh…

This is the problem with my blogging. I never re-read what I write until way after I’ve published it. It defeats the purpose of my blogging. And I’ve officially RANTED hard about a subject, and now I’m gonna spend the rest of the night nervous about any of the people mentioned, freaking out about being mentioned in a blog. Even though out of all the people who probably come to my blog, the only people who would know who any of these people are, are probably the people themselves. I didn’t use anybody’s name though, so to any of those people who are mad about being mentioned in a blog, please don’t be. And to those who are mad, read This…