Posts Tagged ‘Depo’

This week has been the longest week of my life. After two or three days of cleaning with Mama T, which didn’t even get done…, I pretty much spent the next two or three days trying to avoid dealing with absolutely anything.

My room and the kids’ sleeping room got nice and clean, even got the carpets shampooed. Even though Mama T went to the laundromat with stuff, I’m still doing loads that weren’t taken. I think I’ve done four in the last two days (stupid dryer…), and I’ve probably got at least ten left to go. That’s even after sorting through all the dirty clothes and just throwing out anything we weren’t keeping.

Today I got a little bit more cleaning done. I can’t wait until the kitchen is clean, I think I’ll be quite please when that happens. Don’t know when it’s going to happen, but it’s got to. I’ve pretty much kissed the concept of keeping my entire house clean goodbye, so for now I’ll just be happy with what I can get.

The weather has been pretty nice around here lately. It’s always a good time of year for me when the weather is nice. Because then the older kids spend most of the day outside. While that means that I’m getting up more often (to check on them), and listening to more whining (as they fight over the bike and the car), it’s a heck of alot quieter on the interior of the house!

Kaeidyn had yet another birthday party to go to today. That’s the third one this year! This time was the movie theater. Again, I didn’t get to take her, but luckily my aunt had no problem getting her there and back. I love that she’s a girly girl who likes to put make up on and play dress up and get her hair done. It forces me to be a little bit more girly.

Kenzie has been a brat these last couple of days. He’s got so much energy and he still doesn’t grasp the limitations of his strength. Today, he had to be completely grounded off of being anywhere near Carter because everytime he’d go near him, Carter would end up getting hurt. He comes to give me a kiss goodnight and bashes his head off my chin. He just rushes about so much, that it’s like he’s not paying attention to anything.

Keirnan seems like he’s been nothing but tears these last couple of days. He always seems to be whining about something. Someone took his toy, it’s too cold, it’s too hot, he’s bored. We had a nice long cuddle at the computer today after Kaeidyn left for her party, he was incredibly upset.

He’s been working hard on the talking thing. If you talk to someone else, like if you’re giving Kenzie heck, he’ll copy every word you say. The only problem is, all those words sound exactly the same. It just sounds like he’s repeating the same word over and over.

Carter, the little devil, is officially on the move, all the time. We can’t get him to stay still if our lives depended on it. He pulls himself up on the furniture with ease, he’s crawling like a crazy fiend, he’s even starting to sit by himself. I’m pretty sure he’s officially saying “Mama” too, it sure sounds like it.

I wish that I would’ve had what I have with him with the other kids. He’ll be in shambles, crying his heart out, and I’ll walk in the room and he hears my voice, and immediately his face lights up – and so does mine. He’s constantly wanting to cuddle me and be held by me, and I’m not even breastfeeding all the time anymore.

I feel differently about him as a baby than I did about the other kids as babies. Yes, I loved them all to death as babies. But I was so in that depressed state, that I never really enjoyed them as babies. I didn’t play with them alot as babies, I didn’t hold them all the time. With Carter, I’m just in this mental state where I can be receptive to him and be giving to him. At least I have that with the older kids now, I just keep thinking I wish I would’ve had it then.

This last week has been trying on my entire being, especially physically and emotionally. I think I have reached over the five mark on the pain scale, ten being the highest. It seems like everyday I discover a new muscle, with it’s aches and pains right behind it. Today, it feels like the muscle that’s used to pull my shoulder blades together, is literally throbbing. When I woke up this morning, and right up until it got dark, it was my feet and ankles. Yesterday, it was all in my knees.

Then to make all matters worse, I’m still freaking bleeding. It’s been six months since I had Carter, and I’ve had maybe a total now of ten days without bleeding, but other than that, bleeding. It seriously can’t be healthy to bleed for six months!!! I need to see my doctor about it, but I fear that it will all be chalked up to the depo, and then I’ll be taken off of that and forced to go to some other method. And so far, this method is working out really well for me.

I’m not one of those people who easily remembers to take a pill everyday. I’ve never used a tampon, so the idea of the Nuva-Ring scares the heck out of me. I’ve been having sex without a condom, since I started having sex, and it doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever to go back to it, when I’m only having sex with the father of my baby! I think before I think about it too much, I should just call my doctor tomorrow.

Tomorrow… It’s going to be a busy day. I’ve gotta walk Kaeidyn to school in the morning (YAY for Alfie working…), then I absolutely need to call H&R Block about getting my taxes done – which I’m hoping they’ll be able to do even though I don’t have ID (which I need to do something about sometime soon), I need to call a couple other places and hopefully go cash a check tomorrow.

It’s also Kenzie’s birthday tomorrow! He officially turns the big 4. We’ve sort of planned having a party for him on Saturday, though I don’t know exactly what we’re doing or where or what time or who’s coming. All details to figure out this week. It’s hard to believe that Kenzie’s been around for four years, he still seems so young. I’m totally recounting the story of his birth to him tomorrow. “It was a bright, sunny day. Don’t worry, at the end of this story there is great pain and gushes of blood…”

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Yesterday, Kaeidyn missed school because of the sudden onset of a cold (probably from running around outside without her jacket on…). Then, Keirnan had a dentist appointment. It’s going to be four months until we can get him in for his teeth. Now, not only will he need to get the top four teeth pulled, he’ll also be getting a cap in an upper back tooth, and a filling on each side on the bottom! It’s also going to cost me almost $200 more than it would’ve if I got it done last year when we had it scheduled for. Darn his runny nose then.

We have been trying Carter on formula constantly these last couple of days. He’s refusing to take it at all. The second you stick the bottle in his mouth, he starts wailing. He won’t take his rice cereal either. The only type of solid food we’ve been able to get him to eat so far is mashed potatoes. The other day we went up to The Boyfriend’s sister’s place for one of her kids’ birthday parties, had a delicious turkey dinner (my all time favourite holiday meal!), and Carter mowed down on mashed potatoes and gravy. But formula and rice cereal, he hates…

I’ve been in an incredible amount of pain these last couple of days, hence the lack of writing. I’m not sure if it’s the way I’m sleeping, or the fact that I’ve been pretty lazy this last little while, but I feel weak and all my muscles are sore and tired. Yesterday, I was spread out on the couch all day, trying to find a comfortable position for my spasming back.

I went to get my depo shot too yesterday (finally!), and the nurse asks, “When was your last period?”, and I say, “Well, I’ve kind of mostly been bleeding since I had Carter, maybe a week in total of not bleeding.”, so she says, “Well, how old is Carter?”, I say, “About 5 months.” So now, I have to make yet another doctor’s appointment and see if I can’t get my hormone levels tested. I considered picking up a pregnancy test the other day, but fear consumed me while we were looking through the isle.

I don’t think I’m pregnant again, if that’s what everyone’s thinking. I mean, there’s an extremely slim possibility, as there is with any girl using birth control as her only form of protection. But I’m pretty positive it’s not pregnant, but I definetely think something might be up. Maybe it’s just a reaction to the depo or because I’m still recovering from pregnancy, but I think something’s not right, because I feel too crappy for everything to be fine.

Mama T finally gets back from B.C. today. So tomorrow, I’ll finally get to go see Goober. Mama T originally asked that I didn’t go see Goober, because he’s convinced when I go out there, he gets to come home. And it most likely wouldn’t be like that. So Mama T was sure that it would upset him. I wasn’t originally gonna listen to Mama T, but when I asked Goober’s social worker about it, he agreed with Mama T. I’ve talked to Goober everyday since he’s been in there, and all he can talk about is wanting to come home. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really have a home to come home to.

He can’t come and live with me, for a variety of reasons. The most prominent two being I don’t have the room for him, and until he’s healthy, he upsets the kids too much. It’s pretty bad when my three-year-old says, “Uncle, stop staring at me.”, or “Uncle, stop talking to yourself.” And Mama T has pretty much said no, because it wasn’t really working out him being over there.

Our greatest hope is that he’ll actually get help. He’s already talking about stopping taking his meds once he gets out, and not seeing a psychiatrist, because he’s really convinced that there’s nothing wrong with him. I think that’s what’s making his doctor’s and social worker most worried. I hope he doesn’t come home, still sick….

Other than that, life around here has been pretty boring the last couple of days. Oh yeah, did I tell you, the kids broke my camera? So here I was all excited about being able to take new pictures since I finally found my camera, and then nope, it’s broken… Oh well, goes on our list of things to buy.

Today, Carter and I had a doctor’s appointment. It went pretty well. Carter is doing great, though he dropped from being in the 80th percentile in his weight, down to the 25th percentile. I knew he wasn’t gaining much from my breast milk alone.

At first I was disappointed to hear it, especially being that I think he feels ridiculously heavy. I have a hard time holding him for the length of a breastfeeding, because I think he’s so heavy. But since his last appointment at about 2 months, he’s only gained 2 lbs. So the doctor suggested we try out some solids and maybe start supplementing with formula. I was disappointed, but then I thought about the fact that I’ve been breastfeeding for five months, and only breastfeeding. The only other kid I breastfed for any length of time was Kenzie and that was just a little over a month.

I got my depo prescription filled, and now have to go get that injected. Complained about the pain in my knee, which keeps coming and going. When I was pregnant, it hurt all the time. Now, it goes in and out of hurting. So I got an x-ray, though it showed nothing, so I got an oral and topical anti-inflammatory. Then I mentioned the sketchiness at night, and was given some Ativan.

I know I’ve heard about Ativan, though I can’t remember much about it. The doctor knows that I’m breastfeeding, though the warning says not to use it while you’re breastfeeding. So before I start taking that one, I’ll be calling my local pharmacist. I’ve been “seeing” the same pharmacist (in a very informal manner) since I moved here. He’s a great pharmacist. He describes each medication in detail, lists off commonly reported side effects, and has the answers to my sometimes obvious answered questions. I just realized, that I don’t even know his name… I just know he’s the pharmacist at Wal-Mart 😉

The other day, we whipped out the electric razor, and now Keirnan has no hair (yes, we even got rid of his little rat tail that he’s had since birth!), Kenzie has much shorter hair, though his needs a touch up because he kept jumping all over the place. And Kaeidyn was jealous that the boys got their hair cut with the razor, so I cut her bangs with it. They all look so different when they get their hair cut. Kenzie especially. He looks much more skinny with less hair on his head 😉

Keirnan said his first full and very clear sentence today. “What’s this movie?” was the question he blurted out at Alfie. I couldn’t believe how clear it was. I believe completely that Keirnan can talk, he just doesn’t want to. He knows if he doesn’t, his sister or brother will step in and talk for him. The Boyfriend says he was the same way growing up. And that makes me think that I applaud any woman in the entire world, who raises boys without a man around. Because I would be completely lost!

Kenzie has been playing less and less games it seems. And it almost seems like it’s happened completely naturally. He doesn’t like being secluded away from everyone so much. If I fall asleep on the couch while Kaeidyn’s at school, then he’ll play the Wii. But other than that, he asks about them still, but hardly ever plays them. It’s been really good.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed these last couple of days, though still in really good spirits. The messes in the house keep piling up and seem harder and harder to maintain (especially with how tired I’ve been these last couple of days), the kids seem to be getting louder and louder (especially Carter who seems to only cry and eat and sleep!) and even though I’m hardly doing anything, by the end of the day I feel tired and sore and stressed about the day to come.

I was also disappointed today at the doctor’s, when I stepped upon the scale and it creeped past the 136 lbs I was the last time I weighed myself. I won’t tell you where it’s at, because I’m still in denial, but I will tell you that I’m absolutely not happy with it. I need to start doing more cardio and ab workouts and get rid of my baby pooch…

Carter has been sweating all day in our abnormally hot house, and so the rolls under his neck have accumulated some interesting things today, some black lint, a ton of my hair and sparkles – not sure where they came from, but they’re there now!

Today has been a relatively unproductive day, with the exclusion of my workout. I’ve barely been on the computer at all today, except for watching a few videos on eHow (I’m trying to learn to belly dance) this morning. I washed a half a load of dishes, still have a sink full left. I did one load of laundry (though didn’t fold or put away a single thing yet). I didn’t even have to make dinner or lunch today!! Lesson: Sometimes complaining pays off 😉

I started taking my calcium supplement today. I was supposed to start around the same time that I started Depo. I’ve done the birth control (and hated it), I don’t want to do an IUD, and all the other methods like the Nuva-Ring and the patch, are too new for me to feel comfortable with. Depo seemed like a good option simply due to the fact that I take it once every three months and my doctor’s office will call me when I’m due for my next shot.

The only problem with Depo, is that it promotes bone loss. I don’t drink milk (unless it’s a part of my cereal or ice cream, which are things that I only eat 3 or 4 times a year), so my doctor only prescribed Depo with my agreement to start calcium supplements. This is not my first time either. When I was pregnant with Kaeidyn, I also did calcium supplements for awhile.

This time we got these calcium soft chews, chocolate ones. I’m not much of a fan of chocolate, so that’s kind of a turn off. But if it will help prevent osteoporosis, I’ll give it a good try. Maybe it’ll help with alot of the problems that I’m already having with my joints!!

So a month or so into this no smoking thing, and I’m officially sick of not smoking. The first few days was fine for cravings, I’ll even go so far as to say the first three weeks were fine. This last week has been incredibly difficult. My stress levels are through the roof and a smoke would be nice. I’m trying my best to keep it together though…

Well I’ve got ten minutes to get this posted before it’s officially tomorrow and I fail my NaBloPoMo Challenge. So I’m gonna get this up and running and I’ll write again tomorrow!