Posts Tagged ‘Coffee’

I feel quite bad. I’ve been inspired by a template on another blog, and have written quality content on another blog, and have essentially neglected this blog. Please forgive me.

These last few days have felt like they’ve dragged on forever. And daylight savings time sure isn’t helping. The sun shining brighter today, and longer, has me thinking it’s two hours earlier than it currently is…

Today has been one of those days, where I’ve run the gamut of emotions. From worried to relieved, happy to mad, and everywhere in between. I woke up early this morning, and The Boyfriend had coffee ready for me. My temples were pulsing, and the corner of my eye felt as if it were going to explode at any moment.

I took my anti-inflammatory, and rubbed the topical ointment on my aching knees and neck. I hopped on the computer, and typed through the forming of a migraine. Took some tylenol and finished another part to what seems to be the story that never ends!

The phone rang. I picked up the phone and a very professional voice asked for me. I’m thinking, “It’s Sunday, they don’t work on Sundays. What the heck is this?!?!?”, as I’m told Goober is in the emergency room. Don’t worry, I already did that. He’s not hurt and he’s not in trouble, though it looks like he’s finally going to get some help, whether he likes it or not.

After calling the family to let them know, it seemed like my phone rung off the hook for the rest of the day, even though that’s probably a mass over-exaggeration. I sure felt like I was pushing the green talk button every time my fingers left the keyboard.

I’m hoping to be able to go up and see him tomorrow, and take him some smokes since he’s probably nicking hard right now. Hopefully, he’s just sleeping. That’s what I did.

The kids seem to be stepping over lines left and right, the more the stress levels grow in the house. Kaeidyn’s attitude is beginning to take control of her, and I see more of myself in her with each passing day. She’s taken to hitting, and cries like she’s the victim when she hurts her brothers. While she becomes meaner to Kenzie and Keirnan, she insists on taking care of Carter.

From listening to the adults play games together, Kenzie began saying, “I’m going to kick your ass!” today. Every single time he’d say it, Kaeidyn would scream out, “Kenzie’s saying a bad word!”, and again I was forced to remind myself to stop saying bad words so much.

Keirnan’s been racing around the house, whining whenever anything stands in his way. He’s starting to get another cold, which couldn’t have come at a worst time, as he has a dentist appointment on the 22nd.

Carter is becoming louder and louder with each passing day. His cries penetrate the deepest parts of your ear, and mumbles of “mamamama” are a normal part of his daily tantrum. I was on the floor tickling him today and discovered, the harder he laughs, the less he smiles. I begin tickling him and he’s got a huge smile on his face. He starts laughing, and the smile fades until he’s almost completely straight faced.

I have spent the last two days, uncomfortably sitting in front of my computer monitor, hashing out blog posts like the end of the world was coming. It’s been fun, and I feel every creative juice in my bones flowing freely. This time of year does that to me. When the sun starts to shine, and the trees start looking alive again. Snow begins to melt and I no longer have to wear nine sweaters and two jackets just to walk to the car!

It’s time like these that I miss my beautiful guitar, my muse. I feel like now would be a perfect time to sing and play. Alas, she sits broken behind the DVD shelf. Oh well, someday…

Well I think I’ve pretty much summed up my day, and here’s to another one tomorrow 😉

It’s a Tuesday, so that means it’s The Boyfriend’s first day off. Every single week, since almost the start of our relationship, I’ve told him to sleep on his first day in the morning, so that at night we can be awake together and having a good time after the kids have gone to bed. And every week, almost since the start of our relationship, he says he can handle staying awake all day, “I’ll just drink alot of coffee”, or today, it was “I bought myself a pack of energy drinks and munchies. If I get tired, I’ll just down an energy drink!” He gives me these lines every single week, and every single time I tell him he’ll be asleep by the time the kids are in bed.

Do I know my man, or do I know my man? I can’t even be truly mad at him. It’s this rule that I’ve created for myself. When I was with Alfie, I was constantly whining that because of “this and this” job, I wasn’t getting to see him enough and I missed him. That was a huge mistake. Of course, Alfie took that as, “Miss work today, and then start hating your job and quit it a week later”!

So when I got with The Boyfriend, and he had been working the same job for almost 2 years, and he absolutely loved it, I vowed that no matter how much I hated the time his job took him away from me, it was better to only let him know in small doses and not to the point where he felt guilty for “ditching” me.

I’m reminded almost everyday by Alfie, how much more of a b-with-an-itch I was to him than I am to The Boyfriend. With Alfie, I lived alot in the past. With The Boyfriend, I avoid it. With Alfie, I always had specific instructions for mundane tasks, such as, “Fill up my drink, but can you clean out my glass first?”, even if it was a glass that had only had one drink out of it, but because the kids had finished it off, I just wanted to be sure there was no food there. The Boyfriend on the other hand, has given me glasses of pop that had floaties in it and I just picked them all out.

I do alot of things as differently as I possibly can in The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, than I did with Alfie and I’s relationship. And I’ve grinned through alot of things that, in the past, I would’ve thrown a mini temper tantrum over. I’ve been conducting life in this way for almost a year and a half, and even though you’d think it would piss me off to no end, instead it has somehow made me happier. In a way.

Today’s one of those days when it’s really hard to just grin and bear it. Instead I feel like screaming, “Like seriously, just once could you go to sleep during the day when I’m on the computer all day, and then wake up at night and spend some time with me!!!” And then tomorrow, he’ll sleep in in the morning, and he’ll be up all night and I’ll be exhausted in the worst kind of way and want to go to bed right after the kids do. It’s our perpetual weekly cycle. Have I told you lately that I hate The Boyfriend’s job?!?!?

So tonight was the premiere of American Idol (Season 9!!!). I normally only watch the audition episodes and the Top 3 down to the Finale. You know what I hate about American Idol season, alot of my family watch the show and every year I get the “You should try out for Canadian Idol” thing, so then I seriously think about doing it and every year chicken out. I blame it all on the talent show fiasco. Anywho…

It’s hard to believe that American Idol is still entertaining. I mean I hate alot of things about the show now in comparison to the older shows. I was a Paula Abdul fan (and have been since I heard “Cold Hearted Snake” in my youth), it was still funny to hear Randy call everyone “Dawg” and on almost every occasion, I was right on board with Simon’s quick and witty opinions. Definetely not the same degree of meanness, I have more of a peaceful and calm type opinion.

But more than once tonight, while being angry that The Boyfriend was passing out on the couch (and then waking up randomly every few minutes to apologize – there’s nothing worse than that!), I was caught snickering as the judges squashed contestants dreams as if the dream was a pesky little roach.

A good lesson that we’ve all been being told for years, but that American Idol really makes apparent, is that first impressions are key. Especially in a 35 second audition!!! You want to be memorable, but not THAT memorable.

SO… can you believe I’ve been blogging for almost 2 weeks straight?!?!? Only 2 more to go! And then another 11 months after that to complete my ultimate blogging goal. Though I was saddened on Sunday night, and not a single person signed up for the Mailing List and so I had no one to send a newsletter to. Luckily, for me and everyone else, you can SUBSCRIBE to the Mailing List at anytime, and you’ll receive your update the next Sunday.

I’ve been working really hard this week on goal setting. I’ve barely worked at all on the actual goals, but I’ve been writing everything down, working out the first steps. Alot of my goals can’t have steps following through to completion because alot of the goals really depend on a variety of different factors that may or may not change over the course of the next year or so. After I’m done getting them all organized, they will be viewable on the blog. Like I’ve been saying almost all week, I am working really hard getting the blog stuff done.

Another thought that I had, I need a job. We all know I’ve been talking about creating all these routines in our family. For example, I want to be doing two loads of dishes and laundry a day, or I want a set bedtime and wake up time everyday, I want to workout at the same time everyday, all these things need a sort of routine. I don’t have any type of routine and I haven’t had any type of routine in many years. I’m kind of like a fish out of water when it comes to routines.

I was watching a commercial today, about this woman rushing around taking care of her kids, going to work, doing the grocery shopping, being an all around super woman. I would love to feel that sense of urgency, or even have a reason to get up and go outside more than once a month.

I’d like for there to be more of a reason than “Because I want to”, for me to create a routine and stick to it. “Because I want to” isn’t very strong motivation. And I can’t say that I NEED a routine, because in reality, my life is just fine the way that it is right now. I just think I could make it better. But it’s not a necessity, it’s a desire.

I’m very motivated to do things that are necessary. That if I don’t do, could negatively affect me and my kids and the people I love most. I’m not as motivated to do things that are desires or dreams. I’m not as motivated to do the things that I’m the only one that dreams or desires them either. Oh well, I need to be patient about going back to work. It’s still way too early. Next year, we’ll start looking into school again…

Well I think I’m off to sleep. How do you stay motivated to complete your goals, even without support from a group of people?