Posts Tagged ‘Clean’

Today is being a bad day and I’ve only been awake for about half an hour. After letting The Boyfriend sleep almost everyday he’s had off, for the past long while, until whenever he wakes up or at least until noon, he finally let me have a sleep in day where he actually stayed awake with the kids.

Problems with this whole thing. He came and woke me up at 9:30 AM, I was exhausted and didn’t get out of bed. This probably made him a little angry because he was hoping to be in bed by 10 AM. But I don’t count 9:30 as sleeping in, when most mornings when Kaeidyn doesn’t have school, I stay in bed until 9:30 anyways!

I got out of bed at 11:30, he didn’t say a single word to me, until half an hour later when he decided he was going to bed. He gets up, comes over to me, “I’m going to sleep”, kisses me on the top of the head and heads downstairs.

This graveyard bullshit is seriously starting to hurt our relationship. I hate hate hate that he gets to sleep pretty much all day long, and I almost never get to sleep in. And when I do, he manages without even trying, to make me feel guiltier than sin for sleeping past 10 AM when he wants to go to sleep.

I don’t even know. I’m sick of being given the silent treatment every time I didn’t do exactly as he had planned. If I have Alfie over after he goes to work, I get the cold shoulder the whole day. If I sleep in too late, I don’t get spoken to.

I’m too mad to even be happy about the fact that he spent this morning cleaning the kitchen floor, a job that I’ve been avoiding. It’s just been really rough for me and I’m not sure why.

I keep thinking about how when we first started dating, he’d play with the kids. He made them an entire fort and suits of armor  out of cardboard so that they could all play with the Nerf guns he bought them. He used to wrestle all the time with Kenzie.

Now I feel like all he ever does is lecture or argue with the kids. I just get this incredible feeling that he’s no longer interested in my kids, and any feelings he may have had for them (which in the beginning, I was sure he had alot) are now all gone.

Days like to today make me feel like the whole world is just taking advantage of me. I don’t even know how to explain that more at this point. It’s like with Alfie and Goober, they come here and smoke all my smokes (or at least constantly ask if they can have some), they eat at least one meal a day here, they drink my Sprite, they use up electricity on the games and computer – and I don’t see a single cent from them.

Even The Boyfriend, when he gets paid, even though he’s eating here and sharing in all the other habits we have formed, he’ll buy games before helping out with bills or rent. I have to tell him to pick up groceries, he won’t just do it himself. I’m getting sick of taking care of three grown men and four young kids! I’m only one woman!