Posts Tagged ‘Body’

So even though today started off looking like it was going to be a bad day, it ended up being a very good and very productive day. The Boyfriend drove Kaeidyn to school this morning, and ran and got some formula for Carter (since he’s finished an entire box!). Then around 10 AM, I woke up to go pick Kaeidyn up from school.

It’s been a gloomy rainy day all day. My favorite. So I grabbed an umbrella and walked my shivering ass to her school. She was so excited to walk home in the rain, and ran all the way home through every last puddle she could find. I discovered that I remembered much more about rainbows than I thought I did, as we walked past a puddle with an rainbow caused by oil in it.

I got home, and after much procrastination, decided to go do the dishes. Well after I got one load of dishes done, I suckered Kaeidyn and Kenzie into washing the cups and silverware. I love how good of a job they do, I’m always shocked that I only have to go back over a couple things.

I ended up getting almost all of the dishes done, finally sweeped and mopped the floor (which seriously needed it), and got some more laundry done. Now all that’s left to do before The Boyfriend goes back to work is vacuum the living room, clean the counters, clean the dining room and finish up even more laundry. Tonight, I have to fold clothes and put them away before we go to bed. But that shouldn’t take me long, especially being that I’ll probably sucker The Boyfriend into helping with that 😉

I need to start working out so bad. Almost everyday I find myself complaining about some part of my body. Of course, not often out loud. But I’m always thinking about it. Lately, it’s been all about my stomach and my feet. In the summer, I prided myself on my gorgeous feet. Now, I just want to keep them covered up all the time.

Prior to Carter, I had gotten to the point that the only thing that I didn’t like about my stomach was the stretch marks. Now, it’s the entire shape of it. It protrudes like I’m still pregnant, and I despise it.

I’ve been contemplating about cutting Sprite out of my diet, and switching to water. Problem is, I hate water, with a passion. But, I figure if I want things to change, I have to change them. I’m also thinking about trying to quit smoking again. I seem to be much more nervous and hesitant about it now though.

I was planning on barbecuing up dinner tonight, but then it had to rain all day. So I made these delicious pork chops in the oven, that literally simmered away in what I’m calling My Barbecue Butter Sauce, which is basically just garlic barbecue sauce, a lot of butter and every spice I have in my spice cupboard (which isn’t very many spices). It was delicious, especially on top of the Yorkshire Puddings.

I wish I liked more fruits and vegetables. Even if I was able to puree them up and then add them to sauces or whatever, but I seem to notice every little one. It sucks being such a picky eater sometimes.

Well, I guess that’s really all I have to write about today, but I guess more in the next couple of days here.

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Today was an incredibly boring day. After getting to sleep in a little late, The Boyfriend realized he still had the keys from work. So he ended up having to take a cab up to the south end. Before leaving he was all like “If they have them, do you want me to pick up a Wii?”. Hells yes I did. Well then they didn’t have them.

The Boyfriend bought the kids a new movie and Super Troopers (which I’ve never had an interest to see, but he insisted that I’d think it was hilarious. I didn’t…), but didn’t come back with any other treats than beef jerky for me. So of course, I had to give him a hard time. I go “You didn’t get me anything?” and he felt all bad and was like “I looked and couldn’t find anything you’d want.” He’s partially right. All the things that I want, that aren’t a Wii or a car, are things that I don’t want enough to get right now.

But of course, I had to be right, and The Boyfriend was all like “I didn’t know what you’d want”, I had to be like “I’ve told you a ton of things that I wanted”, he says “Like what?”, so naturally I started thinking of things. Materials for my home management notebook for one. Though I automatically hated this idea, because it’s just a big fat reminder that I haven’t done anything more with the whole idea.

So I spent the better majority of the morning-afternoon, being bored and thinking about how much I wish I could’ve been playing a Wii. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. Patience is a virtue. Blah blah blah…

Kaeidyn, Kenzie and Keirnan went to American’s and English’s tonight with Alfie, and The Boyfriend was sleeping, so Carter and I hung out on the couch for a few hours tonight. He barely slept at all the entire time, and was mostly in a good mood. He was very talkative. And I would talk back, and use my real laugh instead of my fake laugh when he would smile really big.

The Boyfriend woke up around nine, and Carter was awake and talkative, and started experimenting with his laugh. He’s coo, and then he’d get kind of loud. Then he’d hold his breath and let out with this puff of coo. He kept doing it over and over, like he was practicing laughing. It’s amazing how fast he’s growing up.

An acquaintance of mine, a great friend of Alfie’s, came over today. He hadn’t seen Carter since he was born. Right away, he commented on how huge Carter’s gotten. All the other kids took awhile to “grow up”. They were all premature and had no desire to be older than their age.

Kaeidyn, born 4 weeks premature, started rolling over and crawling around 5 months. She started walking at 9 1/2 months. Kenzie, who was technically born full term, 2 weeks before my due date, was about the same as Kaeidyn. He started walking later, closer to a year for him. Keirnan, born 7 weeks premature, started rolling over and crawling around 6 months and walking around 10 or 11 months. Carter is rolling over and crawling at 3 months (started at 2…)! He’s also teething alot sooner than the other three. They all started about the same time they started crawling.

Does anyone else seriously miss their babies being babies? I never experienced this with any of the other kids. But every time I look at Carter, I just keep thinking about my babies when they were babies, or more babies than what they are now.

If I could go back and re-do it all, I would in a heartbeat. I’d love to experience the whole trauma with Kaeidyn’s birth and the months that followed again, except for I’d like to deal with alot of the things that happened during that time differently. I’d kill to have my pre-Kenzie body back and the energy that I felt after having him. I’d go back to when Keirnan was in the hospital, and I’d spend more time with him, nurturing and caring for him.

I wasn’t present for the other kids like I am with Carter. Life was so hectic and crazy during those times. I almost feel bad when I give Carter all this love and attention that he gets, when the other kids didn’t get that when they were that age. With Kaeidyn, I went through a horrible bout of postpartum depression, plus I had had the infected c-section incision that lasted close to the first month she was home. I didn’t hold her as often as I could’ve, I didn’t play with her as much as I should’ve, I didn’t say “I love you” to her every single day. I regret that…

With Kenzie, I was caught up in boys and my version of partying (which trust me, is probably nothing in comparison to most people’s version of partying). He got alot more than Kaeidyn did, as I had spent two very serious weeks in a mental institution at the beginning of the pregnancy, and had much more control over alot of my emotions. Him and I bonded right from the second he was born, though as he got older, we’ve just kind of drifted apart. He’s too into his games right now (seriously thinking about putting a stop to the whole gaming thing for him for awhile), and I’m just not that into games.

Keirnan was in the hospital for the first month of his life, and I was living in a hotel with the two other kids. Mama T worked full-time, Alfie was out of town and I had no one else to rely on to watch the older kids daily so I could go visit Keirnan. I would go up about every three days, sometimes more. In the first week, it wasn’t that bad. I was only allowed to hold him for 15 minutes a day, I was pumping at home and bringing in bottles of breast milk.

When people started visiting him in the hospital, I would always say “He looks like he’s dead”. He’d be laying there, covered in cords, under his cloth sunglasses (he was under lamps because of his jaundice, which he went in and out of having the whole time he was in the hospital), just barely breathing. I’d reach in and touch him through the holes and he never flinched, never moved. Just laid there.

About 3 weeks in, I cried and cried, for the first time. I hate that I didn’t see him more, and that I didn’t cherish that first month more. I hate that I couldn’t hold him more. Now as he gets older, I wish I had more patience. He’s in that stage of learning to talk, yet having no idea how. He squeals and grunts and points. With Kaeidyn, she picked up on the talking really quickly. As long as she was told to slow down, she could get what she wanted across. Kenzie, I hardly remember what it was like when he started talking. It seemed like one day he couldn’t and the next day he could. Keirnan is just not picking it up at all, and he doesn’t slow down. I’m finding that I don’t do so well during this stage.

I’m glad that I have at least another 10+ years to make up for all the mistakes I made with my kids. At least I have  the rest of my life to tell all the kids “I love you” everyday. And thankfully, even with all the mistakes I made, all my kids are healthy, happy and to me, their amazing. And even though I miss when they were babies, I can’t wait to see what their going to be like when they’re older.

Kaeidyn will most likely have a rotten attitude, just like her mother. I have a feeling that I’m going to go through alot of the same things my Mom went through with me with that girl. Kenzie, if he sticks with this gamer thing, will most likely be tied up in his bedroom, playing games and designing graphics. I could totally see him being a whiny emo kid (oh wait, he already is ;)). With Keirnan, it’s really too soon to tell. He’ll most likely be like Alfie was growing up, except Keirnan will do it better. For every bit of devilish destruction that Alfie participated in, Keirnan will destroy twice as much. Alfie was/is a wannabe ladies man, Keirnan will be a ladies man. I’m hoping one of them will be super musical, maybe it’ll be Carter.

Well I had planned for this to only be a short post, but looks like that plan didn’t turn out as planned 😉 More again tomorrow, only a week and a day left before I’ve officially completed NaBloPoMo!! YAY!!

I was looking through pictures (all sorts of pictures) last night, and I came to a few realizations about a variety of things.

1. All my kids have grown SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO much…

Past Present

Kaeidyn, 1 1/2 years old

Kaeidyn, 5 years old

Kenzie, 2 or 3 mths

Kenzie, 3 1/2 years old

Keirnan, 1 day old

Keirnan, 2 years old

Carter, 1 day old

Carter, 3 mths old


2. I looked hella rough after Carter was born…

Right After Labour

3 days later...

3. I seriously need to do something about my eyebrows…

Hardly see em...

4. I can’t wait to get my pre-baby body back…

Pre-Baby

Lil Bit Pregnant

Really Pregnant...

Post Baby Body

So, yesterday I was looking around on Amazon.com (which I’ve decided I don’t like as much as I did originally, because they don’t do PayPal – and I don’t have a credit card…), and started checking out the Wii. I’ve been wanting one since it came out, and I played a game of tennis (and kicked some serious butt!).

The Boyfriend and I are either bad or good (depends on how you look at it) at sort of pre-planning our bigger purchases. Though it’s not like this great plan, we’ve just kind of made a list of what gets purchased first and next and so on and so forth. It’s just a list, without any real plan whatsoever. For instance:

  1. Buy a Vacuum
    We did this. It was the number 1 thing we needed.
  2. Buy a Wii (with WiiFit Plus)
    Want it so bad, it’s our next big purchase
  3. Buy a Car
    The plan is to do this with a Profit Sharing check. YAY for Wal-Mart!
  4. Get a new deep freezer
    This is The Boyfriend’s desire, not mine. We have a perfectly good deep freeze, except for the fact that almost an entire months worth of food went bad, because it was unknowingly unplugged. So he just wants to get a new, tinier one.
  5. A new guitar for me…
    My old one, the one The Boyfriend bought me when we were first together for my birthday, my muse, is broken and I can’t fix it. So we’ve agreed, I eventually get a new one.
  6. 32″ Flat Screen TV
    Another one of The Boyfriend’s desires.  For some reason, one that I don’t quite understand, he wants a TV in our room. We’re almost never in our room for any length of time, let alone any time that it would be worth it to put a TV down there. But he’s been obsessed with the idea over the last couple of days.
  7. A Cell Phone
    When we first started dating, The Boyfriend went out and bought us both cellphones. I was going to his house alot and leaving Alfie at my house with the kids alot. He never had a land line, back then Alfie hated calling his phone, so he solved the problem by buying me my own cell phone.

    Well one day, I opened up my cellphone and the screen was just blank. And it stayed that way. I didn’t get it fixed, because it turned out I didn’t really need a cellphone. No one ever called me on it… Now I don’t know where my cellphone and he has no real use for a cellphone.  But we’ve discovered that when we go shopping or whatever, it would be great if we had a cellphone.

    There’s been times where Alfie’s had to send Mama T to pick Kaeidyn up from school, because The Boyfriend and I have been rushing back from grocery shopping and couldn’t call in time to let him know to get all the kids ready to go pick her up. Luckily he’s a generally smart guy, and figured out to call my Mom (even though it was only 10 minutes before Kaeidyn got off school).

  8. A new computer
    We keep saying we need to buy a new computer for The Boyfriend to run his games on, like World of Warcraft and Pirates of the Burning Sea. And I want a laptop for all the writing that I want to be doing, and all the research that I end up doing…

This stuff will probably take us a few years to acquire. As long as we have a Wii by summer (because I want to get my pre-baby body back, and I think that a Wii Fit will keep me motivated and I’ll want to do it because I love me some video games – I enjoy trying to beat everyone’s high score, it would be great competition for The Boyfriend and I. Muwhahahahahaha), and a car by next winter (profit sharing should be next month, so with any luck, it’ll be as soon as next month!), because eventually Alfie’s gonna get a job and not be able to walk Kaeidyn to school every morning, and then I’ll have to suffer through the freezing cold winters.

Kaeidyn has a full day of school today, which meant we had to send a lunch to school with her. Should be easy, right? Wrong. First, I don’t get paid until tomorrow, and I don’t touch The Boyfriend’s money without asking him first. And he’s sleeping, and I don’t even know if he has any money (I’m very determined to keep my financial independence and not force him to pick up Alfie’s slack), and I’m not gonna wake him up to ask. But anywho…

So then I find out yesterday, that I’m out of sandwich bags. Then to make matters worse, the last piece of bread got finished off late last night, and the english muffins went moldy. So all the things I needed for Kaeidyn to take for lunch, we didn’t have. For once, Alfie was useful in this department, and he had everything I didn’t, so lunch has been saved. But man was I ever stressing about it all morning. I even woke up early because of it!

Still have tons of cleaning to get done today. I’m probably gonna start that relatively soon. Hopefully I’ll actually get the revised edition of my to-do list done. And then tomorrow is going to be a crazy day. I have to walk downtown, then bus it back up to the North Side (haven’t been on a bus in almost 2 years), then I’ve got to do grocery shopping most likely solo, and then I’ve got to pile $500 worth of groceries (which doesn’t sound like alot, but somehow just around that – give or take a few dollars – feeds us for an entire month!) into a cab and then bring it all in the house as quickly as possible. Not looking forward to tomorrow… Oh well, what can you do?