One Heck of a Day

Posted: August 5, 2010 in Valerie Rayne

This morning started out as kind of a gong show, as I rushed to make the phone calls that I needed to make. Group meeting for career planning next week was scheduled, and so was a doctor’s appointment (where I’ll hopefully get some news about my knees and hands and some news about the bleeding)!

Shortly after that, The Boyfriend’s sister called and asked if we’d like to go down to the river with her. Well that ended up being much more of a gong show than expected. After walking over half an hour to get to the darn place (even though we drove down there!!!), we finally got to the actual river.

Of course, I was too disgusted by the bugs, duck poop and slippery rocks, but the kids had a blast running in and out of the water. Instead of walking the entire way back, we were hoping The Boyfriend could grab the van and bring it down to the parking lot there. So, even though the current was strong, and the sun was slipping behind the clouds, The Boyfriend bucked up and swam across the river. Which was made scarier for everyone after watching the news last night and learning that 80% of drowning victims are male!!

He made it across fine though, even though he was being pushed down the river by the strong currents. The kids were cheering and screaming for him and he went and grabbed the van. Unfortunately, the entrance to the parking lot we were at, was nowhere really to be found. Or at least not easily and on the small amount of gas we had. So The Boyfriend parked the van, and walked the half an hour or so back to where we were.

Needless to say, he came back grumpy and sore for the most part. After awhile of relaxing, we finally headed back to the van parked at 3 Mile Bend. Half an hour of listening to eight kids whine about being tired, thirsty and hungry. It was all worth it when we got home and put our feet up though!

The cutest thing happened with Kaeidyn today. Somehow it came up about Carter grabbing butts from the ashtray. We notice right away and take it away from him, but people like Alfie are really bad for leaving ashtrays on the couch. So as Kaeidyn goes off about how gross it is, I tell her about when she was a baby she would take cigarettes straight from the pack, rip them in half and then stick them in her mouth. Out of nowhere, she goes, “You better not blog about this!” We all laughed hysterically about it, and I immediately went and posted it to Facebook.

It’s been a pretty stressful day for the most part, though we’re not letting that stress bring us down, though I’m sure that both The Boyfriend and I want to just curl up in a ball and cry! Financially, things are really starting to suck and it couldn’t have come at worst time at all. First, Mom’s boyfriend is back in town, so Goober had to come and stay with us. Then in a couple of days, my sister’s coming down with her fiance and their 2 kids and are coming to stay with us. So we’re going to have a completely full house, and completely empty cupboards.

I hate it with a passion because my sister only comes down, if we’re lucky, once a year. And she only lives about 4 – 5 hours away. But I’d like to be able to provide her with a great place to stay when she comes here. Instead, she comes to a crappy messy overcrowded houses and a broke sister. I messaged her to let her know she’d be coming to an empty overcrowded house, and she’s fine with it and looking forward to it. And I’m just worried and stressed out.

Then to make all matters worse, The Boyfriend and I kind of got into a fight with my Mom today. Not on purpose really. We just thought that Goober wasn’t coming to stay here. And then today she threw on us that he was. The Boyfriend, feeling the stress of our empty cupboards (they’re not completely empty. I’m over-exaggerating. They’re just empty enough that feeding any extra mouths right now is really difficult), calls my Mom back and says some things to her. When I go over to her place later, she brings it up while Chef is sitting right there, and I can’t go into how much the way she acts with/around him bothers everyone, and even if I do, his solution is to grab the guitar and try to force me to play.

I stood up ready to leave and matters were made 100% worse when she tried to compare the way she is with Chef to the way I am with Alfie. The first thought that ran through my head was that I have three kids with Alfie, I can’t just eliminate him from my life or stand up against everything about him that I don’t like or is wrong. Mom, on the other hand, has nothing with Chef except drinking!! There is nothing holding her back from saying, “I refuse to kick my son out of the house that we’re expecting him to pay rent at, just because you can’t control yourself when you’re drunk!”.

I can’t stand when she compares any part of Alfie and I’s current situation with anything to do with her and Chef, because it’s completely different in every way possible. And for the entire time Alfie and I were together (and he acted much like Chef, not even as bad), my Mom fought tooth and nail for me to leave him. And whenever I did leave him or he left me, she was there 100% to support me. And she doesn’t even let me talk to her about Chef, she’ll cut me off or tries to compare the two. Which just irritates and angers me. Today, it resulted in me slamming the door as hard as I could behind me.

It just bugs me so much and I wish she could see the amount of painful and pointless destruction the whole thing with her and Chef causes in our family. I tried explaining to her that The Boyfriend didn’t say anything he said because he was trying to be mean to her, but simply because he’s seen what this kind of thing does to families and he cares about our family and doesn’t want to see it happen to ours. But of course, she didn’t/doesn’t understand that, and I don’t think she ever will. I honestly, for the most part, think she doesn’t care. But who knows….

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